The question is, "Is the glass half full or half empty?"
Alarmist: "A glass of water could be used by terrorists to disperse deadly nerve toxins. Ban all glasses of water!"
Anarchist: "Let's destroy all glasses of water and watch society crumble!"
Buddhist: "To the enlightened, there is no distinction between half-emptiness and half-fullness."
Capitalist: "Hey, now ... if I bottle this stuff and give it a 'New Age-y' sounding name, I could make a fortune!"
Chemist: "The glass contains, by volume, 50% H2O, 39% N2, 10.5% O2, 0.44% Ar, and 0.06% CO2."
Communist: "This glass belongs to everyone, in equal measure. Please form an orderly queue on the left with your wheelbarrows full of bank notes."
Conspiracist: "The government is fluoridating the water for mind-control purposes."
Defeatist: "I'll never have a full glass, so why bother trying? Besides, it looks cloudy, so it must be tap water, and I only drink bottled water. Why does this always happen to me?"
Elitist: "This glass of water is too good for the likes of you."
Linguist: "Edalontzi horretan ura dago."
Mixologist: "There is not enough ice."
Opportunist: "Thanks for the drink!"
Optimist: "The glass is half-full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half-empty."
Relativist: "It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking."
Sexist: "This glass isn't going to refill itself, sweetheart!"
Socialist: "This is your fair and equal portion of all the People's water."
Survivalist: "That's all you get until we finish digging the well."
Televangelist: "With your free-will donations, we can fill everybody's glass so that no one gets left behind!"
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The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.
02 Dec 2019, 11:31 am
