China's "Leftover Women"

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I'd like to join this discussion because I feel myself to be involved in these issues at a personal level. I have been married to a Chinese woman for nearly five years and have an adult family in China. I've also had a lot of Chinese friends in the UK for longer than that.

There are more men than women in China and that is a certain fact. However, I think there are other issues which should be discussed. First of all the one child policy and how true is that. In the times I have been to China I've seen couples with two children of various ages everywhere, although I have been told the ruling has to be kept by government workers. I have asked some Chinese women about the abortion issue and they straightforward tell me they would love both boys and girls. In fact some mothers prefer girls because they are a nice earner when the girl gets married. The groom side of the family have to pay generously to the bride's parents. So a father with three boys, and yes that is a real situation, has an almost unbearable expense. So maybe the abortion issue exists, but has been made rather too much of.

So are there really a good many left over women, and if so why? Again, out of the Chinese horses mouth: "they are too choosy." An attractive girl wants a man who has his own apartment and a car. "If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them." - Robert Graves There is an entertaining Chinese TV programme I may watch two times a week. 23 beautiful girls, plus one who is eccentric, completely plain or dumpy are hoping to meet the right man. I am told the priorities are "rich, tall, cool." Week after week the men of all sorts, including the rich, tall and cool, come and go just as quickly. Will nothing ever please some of these young women. I have to suppose they expect another lot of men to choose from the next week. It seems strange to me but the plain woman is almost just as likely to be chosen. One plain, dumpy lawyer, rejected a man who was also a lawyer, because she thought he looked too old. He was 36 and 6 years older than her.

At one point I was meeting a lot of Chinese women coming to this country on 5 year work permits. They were all married and I felt quite strongly they came to begin a new life without the husband. There are a good many divorces, which I am told is just following the western trend. I am also told that a woman over 40 is considered to be over the hill as far as marrying a Chinese man is concerned.

The internet dating sites are a good way of meeting the Chinese woman, especially the over 40's. However, their expectations may not be easily met. They are looking for marriage, which in the UK is slightly out of fashion. I had to tell my own wife before we were married, that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in the UK, neither are the streets paved with gold. The nice car and other goodies they see the western man enjoying are got with a loan and that will never satisfy a Chinese woman. So, all in all the Chinese woman has to be very careful when choosing a western man.

The city my wife comes from has a terrific street scene at night. We can go dancing in the paved area of a park or the front of stores. This is happening all over the place. So one week I see this old guy, looking American, the wrong side of 80, well rich and about ready to keel over. Next I see this middle aged Chinese woman who could by no standard be called attractive dancing with him. He doesn't move very fast. I laughed to myself and thought wow, she got her claws sunk deep into him. I could see it all written on her face. I looked again and she was by herself. I just don't know how he was able to escape.

I was talking with a well educated Chinese man I knew well enough. I gave him my opinion that the Chinese could succeed if they became more innovative. His response was, hahahahahahahhahaha, what, the Chinese man innovative, hahahahahahahahahahah. Maybe the Chinese education system has a lot to do with it, with learning strictly by wrote. The young people who get an education here in the UK for example then return would surely help. I knew a number who came here to get an MSc and then return. I was chatting to one of these MSc's, she already had a doctor's degree in China, and she told me stronger Chinese woman are wanting to make their lives by themselves and dictate their own terms.

It looks like even lady millionaires have a tough time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGTfjtyVUCw

Thanks for the video. I think it was honest journalism.

Kidnapping does seem to be a problem

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpXWIHdQ6qA[/youtube]

Interesting: even faced with an oversupply of Chinese men, a number of Chinese women seem to like foreign men (at least one's with fair skin).

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRHWOK5f1sE[/youtube]