Homosexuality, Gayness, Lesbian and Bisexuality...

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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 12:21 am

John_Browning wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

John_Browning wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Now my mom always thinks that when she's gone for her dialysis treatment 3 times in the week that I'm gonna go out and try to find me a girl friend behind her back. So I'm already stuck there too. She's really watching me good. She's like got me really pinned down. She's really trying to control me here on this. Would this be horrible, rude, and rebellious against her if I just go ahead and act on my feelings and stop listening to her? Because I'm a nice, sweet, respectful and polite daughter and I don't wanna mess that up, but the way she's treating me right now just makes me feel really uncomfortable and tied down. Would it be my fault if this kills her or gives her a heart attack? I'm afraid that I'm gonna feel guilty if something bad happens to her. Plus what if I get kicked out?

Before I give anymore input, do you have a car, manage your own finances, or have a face-to-face social network, and does she have a court order giving her any control of your life? You sound like you are both home together a lot.

She pretty much takes care of everything. So I'm always with her.

It sounds like you have things to address in your life before you get to sexuality. You will need a form of transportation (even public) and a source of money (even temporary welfare or SSI). You will also need to be able to make your own thoughts and feelings without others in your head. Without these things being done, you might as well be a slave in any relationship you have because you will be absolutely dependent on them for everything- including what to feel. Learn to take care of your own personal business. Learn to manage money. Get a source of income. Maybe learn to drive and get a car. If your mom has been given any legal authority over your life by a court, appeal it once you have learned a little about managing your own life. I hate to sound condescending, but your life is on a path you will eventually really hate, and many who have taken a similar path have ended up suicidal.

I can't tell you who to date, but I strongly advise you to take a very long time to work out how you feel and kick all external influences (including people, media, and online sources) out of your head while you work it out. Your relationships will most likely be miserable if you jump to conclusions about your sexuality.

Well I could always ride one of those transportation buses and I already have SSI, but my mom takes care of all of that money. I don't want to drive though. Its too scary for someone like me. I tried to drive my moms car once. I also don't want to live by myself, because then I'd feel all scared and lonely.

Declension
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23 Mar 2013, 1:29 am

I'm pretty sure that the Bible doesn't actually say anything about female homosexuality.

What it does say is that people should only have sex in the context of a heterosexual marriage. This prohibits lesbian sex, but it also prohibits straight sex before marriage. So if your family accepts the idea that you can have sex before marriage, then they don't really have a good Biblical argument against female homosexuality.

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 2:09 am

Declension wrote:

My mom doesn't think its right to have "Straight" sex before marriage either. Neither do I.

Kraichgauer
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23 Mar 2013, 2:17 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Declension wrote:

My mom doesn't think its right to have "Straight" sex before marriage either. Neither do I.

Tell her that then, next time she's riding you about same sex attractions.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

John_Browning
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23 Mar 2013, 2:33 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

If you have SSI then I hope you will consider talking to your mom about taking care of some of the expenses with it, starting with discretionary spending money. And I hope you will look into finding some means of transportation on your own.

I'm a little curious about something and I hope I don't sound too rude: you write very clearly yet your lifestyle seems--there's no better way to put it--very low functioning like your mom has long since given up on you. What is your highest level of education? Were you in a regular classes and a regular school? To me it sounds like you are mentally capable of pushing yourself to do more to improve your life. With autism, it's very easy to get complacent in doing things the same old way as always even if it's not the best way any longer.

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ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 2:55 am

John_Browning wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

I let my mom use my money on any of those important things that she needs to use it on. Like bills, groceries, etc and I always carry some money around with me too, but she holds the most of it and keeps it in her bank. I do have a hard time with a lot of things though and she has to help me. Well I went all the way through the 12th grade, starting in slow classes when I was in the 5th grade on up to 12th. I went to a regular school that had special classes like that. I probably could do more with my life, because I'm not stupid. Just at the moment I'm sort of having a hard time being on my own.

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
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Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 2:58 am

Kraichgauer wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Declension wrote:

My mom doesn't think its right to have "Straight" sex before marriage either. Neither do I.

Tell her that then, next time she's riding you about same sex attractions.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

I'm not really understanding how that would help when she doesn't even believe in sex before heterosexual marriage. She believes the couple must be married first.

Kraichgauer
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23 Mar 2013, 3:02 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Kraichgauer wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Declension wrote:

My mom doesn't think its right to have "Straight" sex before marriage either. Neither do I.

Tell her that then, next time she's riding you about same sex attractions.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

I'm not really understanding how that would help when she doesn't even believe in sex before heterosexual marriage. She believes the couple must be married first.

That's exactly my point - she ought to know you're not going to have premarital sex with either sex, and trust you on that point.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 3:24 am

Kraichgauer wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Kraichgauer wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Declension wrote:

My mom doesn't think its right to have "Straight" sex before marriage either. Neither do I.

Tell her that then, next time she's riding you about same sex attractions.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

I'm not really understanding how that would help when she doesn't even believe in sex before heterosexual marriage. She believes the couple must be married first.

That's exactly my point - she ought to know you're not going to have premarital sex with either sex, and trust you on that point.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

My beliefs are still really strong about premarital sex for both genders. So I'd never do that, but I believe she still thinks I might. I can't believe she would think that though. I've always been honest with her that I would never do that. I've never had sex or done anything perverted with anyone before in my life. The thing is she just don't want me to have anything to do with the same sex even if we don't have sex. No matter what she just doesn't want me to have any feelings for the same sex. She thinks I can just force it to stop and forget it just like that in a snap of a finger. She thinks its so easy for me to just say "I won't turn that way." to her and get it over with and forget about it. She's like all you have to say is "I won't turn that way." but she doesn't understand that its not that easy.

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 3:57 am

Since like the other day I've been watching lesbian Anime and my mom doesn't even know about it. I'm hiding what I'm doing behind her back. I feel so guilty for some reason or should I really? If she knew though she'd be really mad and like earlier when I came into the living room she was watching something and she's like "Don't worry. Its nothing gay." because she knows that I didn't normally like to watch anything gay. So it wasn't anything gay, because she doesn't watch gay stuff. I have told her that I still don't like to watch anything gay, but that was a couple of weeks ago. Now I've changed and started watching lesbian Anime for the first time the other day. If she only knew...She probably suspects that maybe I'm gonna try to be straight. Though now every time I go over to my aunt and my cousin's house she's like "Don't let her kiss you." and "Don't go gay with her." You know cause like I said my cousin is a lesbian? and I'm like "I'm not. I would never do anything with her" Anyway that would be incest, of course I wouldn't kiss my own cousin. That's just sick. I'm not even going to let my cousin know that I'm kind of interested in the same sex. If her and her mother only knew. They'd be like "Oh she's not the good girl anymore like she used to be." Its like really going to ruin my reputation sense I was always the good one. My mom keeps reminding me of that too which makes me feel really horrible, but it would really ruin things for me if they found out. I mean because my mom is always bragging to everyone how great I am, telling them how much better I am then I am then my cousin, telling my aunt and my cousin how wrong it is to be a lesbian and now this has to ruin it. I feel really bad.

Kraichgauer
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23 Mar 2013, 4:05 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

As homosexuality is probably genetic, then homosexual predisposition may run in your family, as your cousin is a lesbian.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 4:49 am

Kraichgauer wrote:

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

As homosexuality is probably genetic, then homosexual predisposition may run in your family, as your cousin is a lesbian.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

Well two other family members of hers on her dads side are a lesbian and the other one is gay. So that's definitely probably how she got that way then. My mom and her mom are both twin sisters. They don't really look alike though, but me and my cousin used to really look alike. That is until she started dressing and making herself look like a guy. People always used to get us mistaken though. They'd also think that we were sisters. Though we have an entirely different personality. I'm more of the shy, timid one while my cousin is not. My cousin also just goes ahead and has sex with lesbians and she has participated in premarital sex with even guys before she found out that she was a lesbian.

AspieOtaku
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23 Mar 2013, 5:25 am

Id say go with it being a lesbian is totally fine by me and if your mother disowns you for that then shes not a good mother If she does disown you however id recommend move out on your own where you can be independant and do anything you want as long as it is legal of course. Lesbian Anime is awesome hehe and if your mom blames it on anime she can go to hell.

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23 Mar 2013, 5:34 am

This is what id recommend:

Step 1. save up enough money to move out
Step 2. find a decent apartment deal or lesbian friendly room being rented out. Craigs list is pretty good as well as any other classified ad.
Step 3. Once you found a place secretly and have enough money saved up to move in your new place tell your mom you like women and are proud of it!!
Step4. if she disowns you and kicks you out of the house you have a place to stay. If she doesnt kick you out and wants to force you to change just move out.
Step 5. congratulations you are on your own and free to be yourself without bible thumpers dictating your life in my opinion I dont think god cares if your gay or not although i no longer believe he exists I just know this, as long as you are kind hearted and good to others you have nothing to worry about!

ShyChristianGirl
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Joined: 30 Nov 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 126
Location: Somewhere in the U.S. of A. (Still kind of shy, but I am not religious anymore. I am one year younger than what it says.)

23 Mar 2013, 5:46 am

I'm bisexual. I don't know if I'm a lesbian yet and well I'm pretty sure that I've got enough money saved up. My mom would be totally hurt though if I moved out like that. I'd have to tell her first why I want to move out. She's going to continue with all her power to force me to change though and make me feel guilty. I've found a really good Christian site and they are totally supportive of people who like the same sex and there's even a lot of same sex couples on there that are married to each other. In fact they're some of the nicest Christian's I've ever met in my life. So that's why I'm starting to believe that its okay for me to be that way. She'd just tell me not to believe them though and that they're wrong.

AspieOtaku
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23 Mar 2013, 5:58 am

ShyChristianGirl wrote:

Nothing wrong with being bisexual either. Just find a trustworthy female roomie and your good to go. *sidenote preferably Otaku friendly as well* hehe Anime and video games ftw!! If I wasnt living with my sister and about to move back out on my own next month myself as well as if I was rich enough to afford renting a 2 or 3 br apartment id let you move in and have your own place and you do your thing and I do mine hehe. Im a nightowl and if im not working Im up late watching anime and playing video games. It probably wouldnt work out too well unless 2 separate bathrooms were available. I am also 420 friendly as well so if you do that im fine with that as well im not judgmental about that.

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