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Why Are Young Men Choosing Celibacy?

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mr_bigmouth_502
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09 May 2019, 2:40 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I feel sorry for straight guys, because it must be hard to hook up with a woman. I think most people are bisexual to a degree, but people refuse to practice it due to societal pressure to be "straight". Point is, if more men tried batting for the other team, I think we'd see a lot less sexually frustrated neckbeards.

You saying that everyone has the capacity to be bisexual but some choose not to practice it is as ignorant as me saying everyone has the capacity to be straight but some choose to rebel against the norm. Seems like you're suffering from mind-blindness here. Just because you are bisexual doesn't mean everyone is.

I said most people, not everyone. There are people out there who are completely straight or completely gay.

auntblabby wrote:
not "everybody" but according to kinsey et al, a majority have it in them to at least be curious.

This.


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shlaifu
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09 May 2019, 3:46 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
I've seen this article posted and discussed in a lot of places.

Yeah it's partly culture war, partly men's inability to unevenly out-earn women substantially and thus gain their respect, partly how court tends to work in divorce, but I'd also add that so much of what men are being asked to be seems to switch women off. Even with looks if you aren't showing behavior that flips on arousal patterns you won't be able to spin up a proper erotic hook.

This might sound strange but there's a Giordano Bruno pamphlet/book that I might be reading when I get a better translation of it than what Google translate did to the Latin version. Essentially he was writing about eros, hooks, chaining people through subtle manipulation, etc. at the end of the 16th century. The reason I want to read it - our whole social world seems to work on this principle and you if you don't know how to give and receive pleasure that well, or have had the naturalness of it wrung out of you by hard living, it's like people realize that a significant part of you that should be there is missing. I think this happens to a lot of these guys who've been treated badly as well - ie. they get serious, quiet, and that's largely a great recipe if you want to be invisible.


Please, if you find a translation, let me know.
Giordano Bruno was batshit crazy, but this sounds interesting


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shlaifu
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09 May 2019, 3:59 am

Quick question to throw in the room and see:

I was wondering: thanks to dating apps, sex now precedes a dating period, and marriage is totally optional.
In that model, where dating isn't the first step, but sex is, wouldn't you think priorities change?
I mean... If you were to look for merely a sex partner rather than a relationship partner, wouldn't you skip a lot if factors, like, whether you think a person is funny, interesting etc. And only select for appearance?

So, in the past, a celibate man would miss out on a whole social model, but that social model is now optional, so he's first of all missing out on sex. All the people saying it's not worth the trouble are probably not thinking about procreation and reproducing their society etc.

Just speculating...


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ASPartOfMe
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09 May 2019, 4:23 am

Celibacy is not a problem it is a choice.

Incel or Involuntary Celibacy is not a thing it is a typical grammar screwup.

Unwanted lack of sexual activities is a problem mostly for the person not having any but at times for people that have deal with them(example less productive at work)

What is FA?


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 09 May 2019, 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

SaveFerris
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09 May 2019, 5:14 am

Pepe wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Just because less young men are having sex doesn't mean they're choosing to do so. Many of us have little say in the matter.

That's the MGTOW vs FA and Incel dividing line.



It's definitely getting into territory that is not allowed here , so I suggest everyone watch what they type if they want this thread to continue.

Since my quote is in the mix here, please explain what it is that I've said that is a problem. Or are we just not allowed to talk about the fact that some people are not able to engage in certain forms of intimacy despite their preference for doing so?


I'm also confused as to why there is a potential problem. :scratch:




I'll answer both of you in one post.

I think I have already explained myself to techstepgenr8tion - did you read that post ? Was I not clear ? I thought I was.

My job IMO is to try and keep WP a safe place for all members that obey the rules. If I think I can nip something in the bud , I'll post a friendly warning.

As I'm sure you are aware WP had a bit of an Incel problem and I don't want anyone with an Incel ideology to be able to post and dress it up as something it's not. I didn't call anyone out , my post was aimed at all members , I chose to use techstepgenr8tion post which quoted yours as it pointed out the divide so I thought this would be useful.

I hope this has clarified my post.

Message to all members:

You are free to disagree with a moderators opinion on what is Incel ideology and what isn't but if you get warned or banned you only have yourself to blame as I have I tried to warn you.


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Pepe
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09 May 2019, 6:48 am

SaveFerris wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Just because less young men are having sex doesn't mean they're choosing to do so. Many of us have little say in the matter.

That's the MGTOW vs FA and Incel dividing line.



It's definitely getting into territory that is not allowed here , so I suggest everyone watch what they type if they want this thread to continue.

Since my quote is in the mix here, please explain what it is that I've said that is a problem. Or are we just not allowed to talk about the fact that some people are not able to engage in certain forms of intimacy despite their preference for doing so?


I'm also confused as to why there is a potential problem. :scratch:




I'll answer both of you in one post.

I think I have already explained myself to techstepgenr8tion - did you read that post ? Was I not clear ? I thought I was.

My job IMO is to try and keep WP a safe place for all members that obey the rules. If I think I can nip something in the bud , I'll post a friendly warning.

As I'm sure you are aware WP had a bit of an Incel problem and I don't want anyone with an Incel ideology to be able to post and dress it up as something it's not. I didn't call anyone out , my post was aimed at all members , I chose to use techstepgenr8tion post which quoted yours as it pointed out the divide so I thought this would be useful.

I hope this has clarified my post.

Message to all members:

You are free to disagree with a moderators opinion on what is Incel ideology and what isn't but if you get warned or banned you only have yourself to blame as I have I tried to warn you.


1. I wasn't aware of the incel problem.
I know/knew what it is/was though.
I have been an incel almost my entire life and don't have a problem with it.
Well, that is a lie...
I was an incel for part of my early life.
After 30 it was my choice.
Also, to date, I can't recall people here discussing it and I have been a member since 2013.
Perhaps I just wasn't looking. <shrug>
Once again, I didn't know it was an issue.

2. I wasn't included in the 2 posts regarding the warning.
I.E. I wasn't quoted.

3. No, those 2 posts to techstepgenr8tion didn't enlighten me.
I am enlightened now.
Well, sort of.
Well, actually I am still confused as batshite. :mrgreen:

Did I say anything that was iffy?
If so, could you copy and paste?

I feel like an autistic at an NT teen party.
Anxious. 8O :wink:



SaveFerris
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09 May 2019, 7:26 am

Pepe wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
techstepgenr8tion wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Just because less young men are having sex doesn't mean they're choosing to do so. Many of us have little say in the matter.

That's the MGTOW vs FA and Incel dividing line.



It's definitely getting into territory that is not allowed here , so I suggest everyone watch what they type if they want this thread to continue.

Since my quote is in the mix here, please explain what it is that I've said that is a problem. Or are we just not allowed to talk about the fact that some people are not able to engage in certain forms of intimacy despite their preference for doing so?


I'm also confused as to why there is a potential problem. :scratch:




I'll answer both of you in one post.

I think I have already explained myself to techstepgenr8tion - did you read that post ? Was I not clear ? I thought I was.

My job IMO is to try and keep WP a safe place for all members that obey the rules. If I think I can nip something in the bud , I'll post a friendly warning.

As I'm sure you are aware WP had a bit of an Incel problem and I don't want anyone with an Incel ideology to be able to post and dress it up as something it's not. I didn't call anyone out , my post was aimed at all members , I chose to use techstepgenr8tion post which quoted yours as it pointed out the divide so I thought this would be useful.

I hope this has clarified my post.

Message to all members:

You are free to disagree with a moderators opinion on what is Incel ideology and what isn't but if you get warned or banned you only have yourself to blame as I have I tried to warn you.


1. I wasn't aware of the incel problem.
I know/knew what it is/was though.
I have been an incel almost my entire life and don't have a problem with it.
Well, that is a lie...
I was an incel for part of my early life.
After 30 it was my choice.
Also, to date, I can't recall people here discussing it and I have been a member since 2013.
Perhaps I just wasn't looking. <shrug>
Once again, I didn't know it was an issue.

2. I wasn't included in the 2 posts regarding the warning.
I.E. I wasn't quoted.

3. No, those 2 posts to techstepgenr8tion didn't enlighten me.
I am enlightened now.
Well, sort of.
Well, actually I am still confused as batshite. :mrgreen:

Did I say anything that was iffy?
If so, could you copy and paste?

I feel like an autistic at an NT teen party.
Anxious. 8O :wink:


I'm lazy so try to say as little as possible , anything more than a couple of sentences is a chore to me so maybe it's my fault for not being crystal clear.

Maybe this thread will enlighten you some more and the forums stance on Incels viewtopic.php?f=6&t=371974#p8121049

We have a shortage of moderators at the moment which puts extra strain on current moderators. When a moderator is at the end of their rope they maybe less inclined to give anyone the benefit of the doubt and are probably not in the mood for sarcastic replies to warnings.

No one has crossed the divide yet.
I was just trying to get in a pre emptive warning to members as there is a Zero Tolerance Policy for Incel Ideology.

I don't know how much clearer I can be , typing this post has already pissed me.


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SaveFerris
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09 May 2019, 7:29 am

off


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auntblabby
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09 May 2019, 7:38 am

8O :(



Pepe
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09 May 2019, 7:43 am

The link was enlightening.

I had no idea what Incel Ideology was all about.
First time I heard of it.

The previous post of mine was simply being autistically thorough, btw.



SaveFerris
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09 May 2019, 7:58 am

I should also probably clarify , that I am pissed off at my ability not to be pissed off when typing more than a few sentences.

I am not pissed at anyone in this thread , nor am I a moderator at the end of their rope - or am I :mrgreen:


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09 May 2019, 8:23 am

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
OH NOOO... it's a taboo unforgivable sin for men (even those on an autism forum) to want to seek support for their involuntary celibacy or chronic singledom...
Sarcasm noted, but unnecessary.

What is meant by "support" to some people seems to be nothing more than agreement and elaboration on their claims as to who is to blame for their predicament -- it is always someone else. Rarely have I ever read a post from a member of the "can't get laid" crowd that isn't about how they believe women are mean, stuck-up and greedy -- the kind of woman who would never settle for a man who is nice, imperfect and poor. Thus, to those men, it's never their fault, it's the fault of every woman who has ever turned them down or ignored them.

To even suggest that there may be a slight chance that those men may need to work on their overall attractiveness is as bad to them as throwing vitriol in their faces and forcing bile down their throats.

Sure ... nothing wrong with asking for support; but if what they're really asking for is complete and total agreement with the lies they've been telling themselves, then I'm sorry -- that's not support. That's negative reinforcement. It's like trying to cure an alcoholic by getting him drunk.


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Pepe
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09 May 2019, 8:30 am

Fnord wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
OH NOOO... it's a taboo unforgivable sin for men (even those on an autism forum) to want to seek support for their involuntary celibacy or chronic singledom...
Sarcasm noted, but unnecessary.

What is meant by "support" to some people seems to be nothing more than agreement and elaboration on their claims as to who is to blame for their predicament -- it is always someone else. Rarely have I ever read a post from a member of the "can't get laid" crowd that isn't about how they believe women are mean, stuck-up and greedy -- the kind of woman who would never settle for a man who is nice, imperfect and poor. Thus, to those men, it's never their fault, it's the fault of every woman who has ever turned them down or ignored them.

To even suggest that there may be a slight chance that those men may need to work on their overall attractiveness is as bad to them as throwing vitriol in their faces and forcing bile down their throats.

Sure ... nothing wrong with asking for support; but if what they're really asking for is complete and total agreement with the lies they've been telling themselves, then I'm sorry -- that's not support. That's negative reinforcement. It's like trying to cure an alcoholic by getting him drunk.


I don't have a problem with women.
I have a problem with everybody. :mrgreen:

BTW, I am old school.
I think women are lovely. :heart:
I'm just not interested in a relationship.



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09 May 2019, 8:39 am

Pepe wrote:
I don't have a problem with women. I have a problem with everybody.
"I love humanity; it's people I can't stand!" -- Lucille van Pelt.
Pepe wrote:
BTW, I am old school. I think women are lovely.
In the current context, old school is the best school!


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techstepgenr8tion
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09 May 2019, 9:53 am

shlaifu wrote:
Please, if you find a translation, let me know.

I have the book coming by Amazon. What I mentioned before though, with Ioan Couliano's book, he likened Eros in renaissance magic to one of Lacan's concepts, I can't remember the exact term he used but it was something like a social transference between entities (Couliano talked about as something like an expanded case of Freud's therapist/client relationship).


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09 May 2019, 7:01 pm

Fnord wrote:
Pepe wrote:
BTW, I am old school. I think women are lovely.
In the current context, old school is the best school!


You are so sweet.
I think you are lovely too.
Erm. 8O :mrgreen: