Homosexuality, Gayness, Lesbian and Bisexuality...

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Anime is awesome. That's one of my most favorite things. I'm always up really late too every night and yeah that's too bad, if only we lived closer. So are you gay?

No Im strait Im just fine with gays and bis though, im not so jusdgmental. To each their own I always say. Im a heterosexual male who does his own thing and an aspie who likes anime alot. If you love to see the latest anime in subbs not to be aired in American tv for the next 6months to 2 years feel free to click the link under my sig!

Before I ever started finding out that I was bisexual. I used to be really against all of the bisexuals, lesbians and gays and even told them that it was wrong and that they were going to Hell. Now I feel really bad about it. Who was I to judge them? I didn't know how it felt to feel attracted to the same sex at that time.

your likely bi-sexual,not everyone falls into a one or the other catagory

I know that I need to try really hard to fight this. So could it really be possible? What if I get married to a man one day then what if I find myself still thinking about women? I really don't wanna ruin a marriage like that. If I found a man that I was really in love with. Would that be strong enough to make me be able to fight my feelings for women or is it really that easy?

Wouldn't you have the same problem when married to a woman? That perhaps you could still have feelings for men?
Straight people have the same problem. A married straight woman could have feelings for other men and have to deal with that. Commitment.
I also think the way your mother talks to your aunt and cousin is really disrespectful. If family members talked to me about myself or my (hypothetical) child I would show them the door.

I woudlnt worry about it too much. I used to have a girfriend who was bisexual and she also had a girlfriend I didnt mind at all neither did her girlfriend I guess we kinda shared and got along fine.

Now I'm really afraid to be with either gender. What do I do? How am I going to work this out? I don't wanna have a relationship with one and then decide I'd rather be with the other. I wish I could just be one way. This is so confusing. I hate this! Whenever I have a relationship I like to make myself exclusive to only one person at a time and it would feel like cheating if I had a boy friend and a girl friend at the same time, which probably wouldn't be wrong as like as I was honest with the other one I'm with about it. Though if I was married that would be like committing adultery if I had another boy friend or a girl friend on the side. It just doesn't work for me that way. I'd feel guilty doing things like that anyway. Its just not the kind of person that I am. It just wouldn't feel that meaningful then.

Do you really in your heart of hearts believe in monogamy, or do you just say you do because of your religion and societal pressure?

I've realised that I don't really believe in monogamy. I used to pretend I did because I didn't want to live up to that bi stereotype of doing 'anything that moves'. I have a boyfriend at the moment and I'm looking for someone else, as well. If I'm going to hell for this, then bring it on G-guy!

I believe in love and serious relationships, though.

I can understand that you are so worried if you either
1) think that bisexuals can't stop until they have at least one partner of either sex or
2) you think that the attraction itself is so sinful that you will go to hell for it.

Do you believe one or both of those things?

I don't think it's required that you have a second partner on the side. You found a forum where Christians discuss how they deal with being homosexual or bisexual. Perhaps you should ask there whether bisexuals feel they need a sexual relationship with each sex at the same time. I think being bisexual only means you can have a sexual relationship with either sex. Or perhaps you will find that some proportion feel they need both. Whatever is true, you can find out.

As I said earlier, on your thread in the LGBT section of the forum, your mother is a control freak. Honestly, if she wants to control what you choose to watch, I think that's going way too far on this whole thing.

And based on your post, your mother doesn't sound like she is a good relative period. I mean really, calling your aunt and your cousin out for your cousin's sexuality is just plain wrong. And bragging about you because you are "better" than them is even worse. Simply because someone is homosexual or bisexual or anything other than straight does not make them better or worse than a straight person. You are still a "good girl".

Now as for the fact your mother thinks you might commit incest with your cousin, it sounds like your mother might be at least have schizophrenic tendencies. Schizophrenia doesn't automatically equal hearing voices - schizophrenia is irrational reasoning. For example, if someone thinks that their neighbor is some FBI agent because their neighbor said, "Hi," then that's schizophrenic reasoning. I am surprised that your mother would even think of such a thing.

And I'm going to assume that your aunt and your cousin aren't as committed to Christianity as your mother. So why is your mother such a strict Christian? Was she raised in a family of strict Christians? Or did something happen to her that made her turn to religion?

I agree with those suggesting you should move out.

The Opposite. I mean a lot of times I just tried NOT to believe in it, because of religion and the horrible things other people say about it. More and more now I'm starting to believe in it though. It really can't be helped which gender you're attracted to or fall in love with and anyone who is straight will never really understand this.

She pretty much controls every part of my life, to her I'm still like her little girl, but I'd like to start making decisions of my own like this especially. I haven't told her what I was watching. Its not like I'm watching porn. It really wasn't bad at all. Its just a cute lesbian Anime which I know she'd be totally against.

My aunt was already getting pretty snappy with my mom about it the other day when my mom was talking to her about it, because my mom was talking about how its not nice for my cousin to be a lesbian. My aunt is a pretty tough person and my mom got scared of her. When my mom truly finds out my decisions. I feel like that she's not going to think of me as such of a great daughter anymore like she used to. I feel like I've failed her and I tried so much to be like my mom all of my life, but I just don't seem to be turning out that way. I feel horrible and always think to myself that why couldn't I be more like her and now the rest of the family like my other aunts may look down on me sense my cousin was always the one doing the bad things.

Well my cousin has Schizophrenia and I just don't know what's wrong with my mom, but she just doesn't think all right at times about things like this to think I would do something like that with my cousin. I in no way feel attracted to her anyway.

My aunt and my cousin are Christian's too, but my cousin just doesn't bother to follow a lot of the Bible rules like my mom and I do. My aunt was pretty disgusted with my cousin being the way she is too. She told her that it was a sin but, she still accepted her for it anyway. My mom and my aunt were both raised in the same family. They are sisters and were both raised in a Christian family. My aunt is just a little bit more open minded to things then my mom is I believe.

That's what I'm saying. I don't want to have a second partner on the side. I only want one. I just want to be able to decide on which one I want to be with and only be with one.

That you know what you want should make things a bit simpler. I see two options for you:

1) Thank God that you are bisexual and not lesbian, so that you can find a partner of the sex approved by the moral precepts of your religion. And approved by your mother, making it easier to maintain the good relationship with her that you want. And if you continue having the occasional sexual attraction to a woman or fantasy about women, most men find that easier to deal with than if you were attracted to or fantasising about another man. That side of you may not have to be a guilty secret. You could always sound out a guy by introducing him to your cousin and seeing how he responds.

2) If you don't want to treat a woman you love as a temptation you must resist, you have to think about how to reconcile that with your faith. Talk to Christian bisexuals and lesbians and see whether you agree with those who found a way to reconcile faith and sexual orientation. If you find a way you can accept, and you meet someone who you feel is the love of your life, make that work and ignore whether that person is male or female.

Either way, you can be as monogamous as you like.


I don't know whether you mean you have to decide now whether you look for a man or a woman as your partner. I don't think you have to decide that in advance. What would be good to work out in advance is whether you can reconcile a female partner with your faith, so that you don't have that distracting you from establishing a good relationship. If you happen to end up with a man anyway, you still have not wasted your time. You will have thought more deeply about an aspect of your faith that otherwise you would have just accepted with little thought.

I agree that you should become more independent than you seem to be now. It should help you find a good partner, whether male or female. I would be wary of anyone who wants a controllable partner. If you don't want to attract the controlling kind, you need to be able to live independently. If you need to persuade your mother to support your independence, it would probably help only to talk about a future husband, but the point is true whether you end up with a man or a woman as your partner.