Pentecostal/Charismatic worship

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I went to a Pentecostal Church from the age of around 17 - 19. My family had before gone to a old fasioned traditional evangelical church, but they got into it when they were burnt out with their old church and it gave them a new zest for life.

It seemed so loving, I kept trying to get into it and belong, but kept failing and always felt really sad, depressed and left out there, I could not get into it or be part of it.

I'm glad my parents found it as they have been a lot happier there and found good friends, but I'm not sure it does much spiritual good and the experience has left me very confused.


The services were very emotionally manipulative , they would lift us up and down with 10 minutes of loud, rousing music and everybody jumping up and down, punching the air and shouting, then 10 minutes of sad, reflective music with everyone crying, lying down on their faces weeping, lifting their hands and swaying slowly. And through all this, people rolling around, laughing hysterically, groaning, "speaking in tongues", and shaking.

I felt kind of trapped in a bind where I didn't have the courage to pray with people or try and "be filled with the spirit" or feel anything with them unless i became good friends and trusted them, but I couldn't become good friends with them untill I started doing that stuff.

Also every one I knew there annoyed me, none of them were interested in the bible or Christianity or read books on the subject, all of them were only interested in enjoying the emotional rush of the meetings and repeating everything their leaders told them. And some tried to be cool and go to rock concerts and wear goth clothes to prove how part of culture they were, but they were so fuzzy and vague on everything. Like if you asked them what they thought of gays the cool ones would say "well.. i dont really agree with it..but its their private business to sort out with god". Wheras the ones not concerned with being cool or punky would agressively say its wrong.

I felt warm when everyone put their hands around me, but I never spoke in tongues or got pushed over or felt anything that strong. My parents saw crazy stuff like gold powder flaking off a guys face. The "healings" never seemed to work.

They were hugely concerned with making you believe you were gonna get rich and get better careers, very materialistic. They used to have lots of self-help "tony robbins" type Christian speakers come and hype up their talks and sell lots of books. Thge most hyped up one was a woman called Christine Caine, my mum has an attic full of the books she bought from her.

The youth camps were the most over-whelming and manipulative, huge rock festivals, loud speakers. They would alternate between playing heavy metal and shouting slogans like "do it for jesus" while we all jumped up in the air, and playing sad music while telling us about killed martyrs while everyone lay down and cried. There was no real study or theology, it was all emotive.

My parents became disilusioned with the career/wealth mindset and feeling put upon with jobs, they left and we went to another Pentecostal Church after that. That was a lot nicer and laid back, but I still didnt fit in and left there to go to Quakers. (my folks still are happy there).

Some of the the people there really freaked me out though. They just seemed wrong. I'm sure people here would say they seemed wrong to me as they had Christ and i didnt, but some just seemed scary and horrible. I just felt wrong there. I used to wonder if it was because i was to attached to ideas of a sinful life (clubbing etc) too much, but even when i was trying to live the life i felt wrong. I remember getting "saved" at camp, then trying to pray and feeling nothing. Plus my bad social skill always made me jealous of how unpopular i was.

I found the whole set-up and style of worship completely aspie-unfriendly and bad for me, and to be honest i have had a couple of nightmares about it - one was a big angry preacher pushing people over and holding them down, some others were me being pinned down by preachers force and I couldnt move, things like that.

I went to a pentecostal church from the ages of 16-18. The first thing that turned me off was some of the members talking about how they considered intelligence to be a barrier to faith, and then the pastor talking about money a lot got on my nerves. There was some other stuff going on too. There are a few good, doctrinally sound pentecostal churches out there, but as for most of them, don't drink the cool-aid.

yes, many of them are anti intellectual

As one of "them"....

Learning about AS goes a long way to understanding why I feel I don't "fit in" with any church I've been in. If I can't make a connection to anyone there, I feel like I don't belong. I thought I wasn't "Christian" enough. I now understand that it is how AS affects me.

I don't like the term "emotionally manipulative" because vigorous worship will have an uplifting effect, but I have been to congregations where it seems a lot of "cheer-leading" goes on, and at some point, it became a turn off. God wants sincere worship, and if you gotta whip the crowd into a frenzy, something isn't right. I've seen worship that came from sincere hearts...it was beautiful...and rare.

Much of the Charismatic movement stole it's devices from the Pentecostal faith. Pentecostals do not like being called Charismatics because of how the latter tends to use emotional manipulation to get money from the congregation preaching pie in the sky and little more.

Intelligence and faith. It doesn't have to be a barrier. The problem is that many who have "education" let their knowledge (or pride in it) become a barrier to faith. Frankly, outside of religion you see this is true when you deal with a professor who knows much about the theory of X but hadn't really done much real-world practice in it.

There's a nice Anglican church in Birmingham I've been to a few times. It has a kind of traditional feel with charasmatic touches..they had a comtemplative time to be peaceful, but also lively songs, a lot of Africans where there with tamborines and dancing, however people were left alone to be quiet or lively, they were not influenced to be wild if they didnt want to or pressured. it was peaceful and free, i liked that, it was the best of both worlds.

Utter madness. A form of brain-washing.

ruveyn

well i'm nt and my gf is an aspie. i've been brought up Pentecostal and my gf comes church wiv me sometyms and goes 2 a methodist church. we both think my church is more welcoming, accepting and supportive. my best m8 is an aspie onli just find out and i've known him 4 yrs and he goes church with me. everyone at church see my gf and him as if they where nt. my gf prefers our form of worship 2 hers anf likes it that people don't dispise her 4 thinking Wesley id awesome, as that's the main reason 4 her being a methodist.