don't get convected

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or whatever you call it.

i did and got rid of three of my fav games drakengard 1 and 2 and vice city, i wouldn't have if my dad hadn't broadcasted that i was. now i gotta rebuy them again, my mom and dad both pressured me to get rid of them. dumbest mistake of my life. even when i did get rid of them i could not watch them go away my mom of all people should have known and let me keep them.

now i gotta order them from amazon so can get them back in secret, there are days i hate my religious family.

i keep saying i'm an athiest but no one in my family believes me, and now my mom is pushing her religion on me this sucks.

sorry i needed to vent this was horrible

If you are not capable of living independently, both you and your parents are in a very difficult situation. You have a right to do as you please, but your parents have an over-riding right to have things as they wish in their own home. However, I definitely agree you should not be pressured or coerced into doing something personal against your own will.

Being an atheist would not give you any authority to overrule your parents' authority within their own home, but neither does your being in their home give them a right to insist you believe as they might.

Many years ago, I placed these simple rules before my younger daughter:

1) No alcohol, drugs or unmarried sex under my roof;
2) Park in your assigned spot.

Had she been into the kinds of games you have mentioned, I would have made one more rule ...

... but she believed me unreasonable already and was gone before anything else could ever even come up.

My stepdad would whine and complain about my playing video games, such as OO7 GoldenEye and Command & Conquer Tiberian Sun. He had me give up the N64 along with the GoldenEye game to a random youth pastor and he burned my Command & Conquer games on the stove because they were "too violent".

I know of one situation where a pastor and youth director had coerced some 'teens to burn a bunch of stuff and some parents who had spent a lot of money buying all that stuff quickly became very angry over what had been done ... and at least one of them demanded reimbursement!

If anything, my stepdad would have been glad enough to have had my property, and that which I inherited from my dad also, burned. He had many things which I inherited given and thrown anyway, and any money I earned independently of the meager allowance he sometimes provided also was fun enough for him to take and do with as he liked. Any property of my own was as good as garbage. He was wise enough to throw away the firearms and K-bar knife I inherited from my father before going after the rest of my property though.

wow that's horrible goldeneye is a great game, not to sure of command and conquer never played it, but to burn another's property is just wrong to do.

what's wrong with drakengard and grand theft auto vice city, they took most of the bad stuff out of drakengard when it was ported and vice city i just play because of the car stealing and the sandbox that the game was built on besides san andreas was way worse, in my opinon vice city is really tame compared to san andras and 3.

Dear Jetfox,

Perhaps you should spend less time playing games and more time learning English spelling and grammar.

At 23 years old you should be an independent adult.

as if

an excellent response to such a silly assault.

as to the contraband, well... that sucks.

so long as you have to keep all your stuff in their home, they'll feel that they can set rules on it. that's their right. you really aught to tell them to shove it if they're being this ridiculous, though. after age 18 they have no right to tell you what you can and can't own. if you have your own setup in your room and they don't want to hear it, headphones or low volume should be an acceptable compromise. "should be an acceptable compromise" shouldn't be expected to be reality when they refuse to accept that you, as an individual, have diverged from their theology.

i know it's really hard for a lot of us with AS to get out on our own. i joined the army as a springboard, something you can't actually do, now, if you're DXed ASD. i wouldn't recommend it, anyway. perhaps you could find a way to go to school far from home? this might be a viable option.

don't expect them to change their worldview (or to stop trying to force it on you), though.

like i said, so long as you keep all your stuff in their home, you're pretty much stuck under their rules.



(disclaimer: the following is terrible advice and probably shouldn't be followed.)

or you could refuse to accept their shenanigans. their house is their house but you're an adult and have legally been one for 5 years, now. the word "no." is officially authorized. stick up for yourself. stick up for your stuff. respecting your parents should not be incongruous with respecting yourself. try not to be a dick about it, but stand up for yourself.

i'd advise against trying to convert them from their religious superstitions but that doesn't mean you have to take part in them. if they insist on you accompanying them to church/temple/scientologycenter, go with them. church is for studying "the good book" so if you're feeling particularly STRIDENT, read their holy book and ask questions about the silliness within. the story of daniel and the lion's den was always a favorite of mine. particularly what happens to the man who tried to have daniel killed's family. job is another great one. it's basically the story of the devil tricking god into tormenting one of his people on the premise of a bet. holy books are filled to the binding with questions just begging to be asked with only shame for answers. if you're not feeling particularly STRIDENT, just bring a "good book" of your own and read it instead. if they insist that a prayer be said before a meal, you should respect their wish. when my wife's catholic family prays before a formal dinner i always respectfully remain silent and wait to begin eating. i don't chime in with any prayers of my own and i don't mock theirs. i would be offended, however (and rightly so), if they were to demand that i participate further than that.

just try to remember that they aren't seeing things (religion, video games, your adulthood) the same way you are and that, as such, all of these interactions includes the issue of perspective. they have reason enough for themselves to support all of their views and actions and they aren't likely to accept any of that reasoning as bad because someone they view as a child thinks so.

so respect your parents but stick up for yourself. respect their home but stick up for your stuff. respect their religious rituals but don't feel pressured to lie about your perspective.



and try not to be a dick about it.

(...i know. i know. "as if.")

that's some good advice i need to stick up for myself and my stuff more and not just go with the flow to avoid fights which is in itself lieing, but my dad has a temper big time and i like to avoid that as much is possible so i say what he wants to hear all the time, i don't believe anything he does... well maybe a few things but not much.

this will be hard for me to get used to though and hard to start doing but if i don't i'm going to be having one meltdown per month, my mom and dad do not see the damage they are causing me at all.

here's something to keep in mind. when i can keep myself to it, it's a great source of my pretentiousness. Victory Not Vengeance. VNV Nation makes really awesome music in addition to having the greatest motto of all time as their name. "victory not vengeance" means that success or failure is personal. it's about being good at what you choose to do for the sake of being good at it, not just by being better than other people.

it means that the greatest thing you can ever do is to do your best. play an instrument, run a marathon, write a book, whatever. it doesn't matter how much better someone else does at it than you and it doesn't matter how much better than everyone else you do it. what matters is how much of your own potential you achieve.

and i really wish i had good advice for how you can get out of your current situation. it doesn't sound healthy. just remember that, while conflict cannot always be avoided, it generally doesn't need seeking out.

so keep your head down but keep your head up, you know? and do take steps to remove yourself from these circumstances.

next time you're feeling crushed like this, just remember that the bible tells your parents to stone you.

(no really, look up what it has to say about unruly offspring and stoning...)

If pressures are affecting you, upwell from the area of convection.

I know it's really difficult, but if you are not yet able to live independently, then you should be very grateful that you have a family who are prepared to look after you. Their rules may seem arbitrary and harsh, but believe me, it's better than being kicked out of the house and potentially finding oneself living on the streets.

I'm Christian, and I wouldn't push my religion down your throat, I'm sorry your mother seems to be doing so. Of course, she's doing so because she loves you, but that doesn't make it feel any easier.

I know one guy on the spectrum whose family got sick of him at eighteen, and made him move out. He managed for about six months before the new landlord kicked him out for not paying the rent. He just couldn't organise himself to pay the bills on time. He struggled to find a new place, and ended up literally on the streets for months before his sister realised what was going on, and let him move in with her. They ended up finding him supported accommodation.

The thing is, wherever you live, there are going to be rules. Your parents don't like you playing certain kinds of video games. That's the price of living under their protection. Be glad they love you enough to protect you.