Do you live Nihilistically?

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My lifestyle is dominated by the idea that life has no intrinsic meaning, and I've had trouble finding any passion to fill the vacuum. Perhaps this is depression I just do many apathetic things like putting on socks of completely different colors and dressing like a bum. Maybe this has nothing to do with nihilism and is more an Asperger trait

I don't really have any goals or purpose. Perhaps this is due to my numerous failures in interpersonal situations.

I'm quite aimless. I'm an extreme pessimist and find most pursuits futile.

There may be a positive to all this. I'll talk to anyone and everybody who is willing to engage in a conversation, and I am extremely nonjudgmental. If someone is aimless or an alcoholic or filthily dressed, I'm as likely to engage in humerous banter with that person as someone who is productive in society's eyes and clean.

However, these exchanges rarely lead to friendship due to apathy.

I can't figure out if this is depression or just a feeling that life really has no meaning and that 'anything goes' really.

Can anyone relate?

Question: what do you think about YOUR life, as opposed to life in general?

ruveyn

I might be nihilistic but not in the same meaning you attach to it. There are many notions and areas of life that I reject.

I think I am as well. However I am not negative about it. I think most people want to give a meaning to life, just to give a meaning to life. That's not really 'ambition' or a 'goal' if you ask me.

It's a chicken egg situation in my opinion:

Which came first the depression or the nihilism?

It does not really matter, does it?

There are many versions of a meaning of life, to reproduce, to be wealthy and 'successful', to discover something, to learn, to have many friends on facebook etc.

If none of these options appeal then I suggest you try to aim for a hedonistic approach rather than the nihilistic, as long as none else gets hurt in the process.

I think of my own life as having more pain than any other emotional state. When I suffer, it has no meaning other than cause and effect based on the laws of the universe.

I regard my life as an unsought opportunity so I try to make the best of it that I can.

ruveyn

I wish I could be a hedonist, but I can't really feel pleasure.

You sound depressed to me. Maybe you need to examine your lifestyle and try to ponder on what would excite you and give you a sense of urgency to welcome each new day?