Teen with bus obsession, steals bus & collects fairs

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But that isn't learning anything, it’s simply programming behaviors into the child like you would train a dog. All the kid surmises is that certain actions lead to punishment while others lead to reward. His behavior will be entirely bound on self-interest in terms of seeking rewards and avoiding punishments.

Take away the carrot and stick and there’s no more meaning. It’s only logical that he should try to get away with as much as possible as long as he doesn’t get punished. Once he gets away from the discipline his parents provided he may decide that he can do whatever he wants because nobody is there to reward or punish him for his behaviors anymore. He didn’t necessarily learn anything. Real morality is about compassion, not seeking rewards and avoiding punishments.

A good upbringing certainly does not exclude compassion. And sooner or later lessons become instincts. A person develops their own internal sense of right and wrong, their own moral compass. But a child won't ever have good instincts if he's never shown the way. I don't know why you think I'm advocating some kind of B. F. Skinner approach.

How did you learn right from wrong?

I don't know, I usually did better when it was explained to me why something was wrong. If there was a reason given I remembered not to do it again. A simple lecture was enough. I didn’t need to be spanked.

The times I was punished (usually by locking me in my bedroom) was always for emotional outbursts or meltdowns, not for simple acts of 'naughtiness'. I don’t blame my parents for doing this as I was a difficult child to deal with but I never really ‘learned’ anything from these incidents.

What can I say? You must have had a different upbringing than I did.

I think people with ASD need to learn to follow the rules nonetheless, or else they could end up getting in trouble with the law. Do they want to end up in jail or prison or even end up not being able to do something like be a bus driver because they stole a bus a while back? It would be something for someone to regret because they shattered their dream.

I reject the notion that Aspie children cannot and should not be disciplined. What's the alternative apart from leaving them in the woods to be raised by animals? If they're going to live with other humans, they have to learn how to navigate society. We don't feral children and we sure don't want feral adults.