I'm working hard lately to understand the whole concept of shyness amongst NTs vs my own AS-related introversion that developed over time. I've never been shy, and I enjoy the company of certain people very much. My NT husband, however, has always been extremely shy (he suffered from selective mutism in elementary school) and as an adult he suffers from social anxiety disorder. He's never been cynical or "anti"-social; he's just very self-conscious and overly concerned about being negatively judged by others. Our counselor says that shyness is very much an in-born trait that can be improved over time with the right help at an early age. It's really sad that these "cynically shy" kids are becoming increasingly violent due to not receiving the right parental and social support to help them overcome their self-consciousness.
It's interesting that this appears to be a big American problem, and it was mentioned that it's possibly linked to our culture of expecting everyone (especially men) to be individualistic, bold leaders by nature, whereas shyness is seen as a weakness. I find that pretty amusing. I was such a hyperactive goofball as a child, and I assumed that those whom others labelled "shy" were in reality simply smart enough to keep their mouths shut and stay out of trouble. I've only recently realized how difficult shy people actually have it in our society.
20 Aug 2007, 10:33 am
