If you could literally relive your childhood...

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What would I do, what would I do...

Frogmarch myself to the doctors and get a diagnosis early. Spending 16 years just being plain "different" was pretty much awful. Have a shot at educating my relatives in AS. Which would mostly likely fail and cause me to lose my temper at them.

I'm not sure. To be honest, even going back wouldn't change the way my life shaped out. I'd have just been AS for "longer". Well, known about it for longer. I spent the majority of my childhood as an only child and, good grief, I hated it. No amount of reliving it could change that. Most of my life was shaped before I even existed, if that can make sense.

But yeah, most likely get a diagnosis earlier. Maybe there'd be more understanding of it in my family then.

If I could literally relive my childhood, with the knowledge and abilities I have now, I would do the following:

I'd have turned my father in to the police for child abuse the first time he drew blood.

I'd have bugged the principal's office just before the big drug bust of 1972.

I'd have done more homework, and played less of the class clown.

I'd have gone to a private college instead of a state university.

I'd have stayed in woodshop instead of becoming a bando.

I'd have taken more science and math and less music.

I'd have not taken any foreign-language classes.

I'd have tried out for the track team sooner.

Its a tough question for me. If I could repeat my childhood, I would protected myself from my brother, and would never have allowed myself to be silenced by teachers and adults. I would have fought back against it.

But then that raises another question:

If I had not been treated the way I was, I have little doubt I would be more confident, friendly and have a lot more self esteem. However, if that was all changed, would I become another boring, mindless drone? Because of what I endured with my brother I have a better understanding of and more empathy for people who have mental disabilities, or live with people who have mental disabilities. I also picked up some pretty good fighting skills.

Because I was never able to speak how I felt or what I thought to anyone I learned how to express my emotions through writing, and I also became much more aware of what was happening around me. Even though people have tried to break me, I learned how to fight back using my mind and knowledge.

Those who speak little and listen much will learn to acknowledged the world and their their surroundings in both its pain and its glory

So, when it comes down to it, I don't think I would change anything. I would rather being the person I am know than the person who I could have been.

I would not have tried to make friends with anybody is 2nd grade. I would study more for a couple different tests. I would take up cello earlier and not have bothered with violin. I would have learned more and more and more. I would take better care of my back.

I'm surprised that so many other people also want to change the electives they took. I;m happy with the electives I'm taking now. I wish I took different electives in middle school however.
I also wish that I had been hospitalized in seventh grade.
I also wish that I had been in a different bunk one year of camp.

Once I got over the horror I'd completely astonish everyone with what a genius I am. I'd probably work harder academically, and take my music studies far more seriously. I'd be carefully angling to get myself to the same university, to meet the same man, so we could be miserable together for a few years, then I'd have the same beautiful baby child, and my life would be okay.

I'd have taken my musical studies more seriously too. My life will turn out okay, I just wish I worked harder and took different classes when I was younger.

What college did you go to?

I'd ace every subject, for one thing. I would start learning a musical instrument from an early age, and maybe even take up a sport. In middle and high school I wouldn't become so anxious and depressed because I'd know about Asperger's. I'd try and reach out to people, take more risks, get involved with more projects and events. And maybe I could be one of the valedictorians or salutatorians, if I could do better than a C in chemistry the second time around.

i would just go insane. i would probably be sent to more mental hospitals then i was the first time around.

Assuming that I'd have the level of knowledge and experience I've acquired by now, I would ace everything in school and avoid moments when I've embarrassed myself. I would warn my father of his future cancer and give my sister earlier intervention for her psychotic symptoms. I'd try to get to know my grandparents before they died and warn my mother that they were going to die so she could make more preparations. I would accomplish things that I was expected to accomplish but didn't have the maturity to do. I would clean up after myself so my mom wouldn't have to, and I wouldn't demand so much from her. I would warn authorities of future crimes. Heck, I'd stop 9/11 from happening! People would think I was psychic!

I would attempt to convince my parents that home tutoring or private school was a more viable option for my secondary education than the local comp.
If this failed, I would then ensure that I disciplined myself to a greater degree, so as to avoid a nervous breakdown at the age of twelve.

Ugh... So many times I've screwed up. Who'd wanna relive it all? Sure as hell I'd wanna re-think some big moments in my life. but it's not worth it unless I can drastically change the past. Maybe invent the HK416 at the age of 5, hard polycarbon kevlar body armour in an exoskeleton mould the resist heat, cold, bullets and explosions then join operation Desert Storm and bring down Sadam. Isolate the Bottom Quark in the Hadron Supercolider. Asking out all the gals I liked it Primary and High school. Not breaking my back in two places at the age of 12 (Broke the bones in my back, not my spine I'm not a paraplegic but me walking is still more of a miracle than I let on), Wow, maybe re-living life isn't such a bad idea.