Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear Jackass,

I am so sick to death of all of your blank stares of bewilderment. YES! I just said that! You'll either grow to love me or love to hate me.

I am tired of hateful messages when I have opted out on telephone calls for 1 week or 4 months. I simply did not want to chat, no big surprises there. I am infamous for my disappearing acts!!

I cannot stand the way you show up at my door and act as if I AM being rude, when I hold you from entering! You were not invited, therefore you are, in fact, the one being rude!

What makes you think I would ever opt to engage in foolish games at a staff development workshop? If you haven't noticed, I do not do social! and what's worse, more than half of the group opted out of your foolishness.

Have you ever thought to look in the mirror before you pass judgment on my peculiarities? You are far from this "normal" you speak of and if you'd like, I would be more than happy to give you my analysis!

MLH

Dear God,


please resolve my confusion, and in the GOOD way.


Thanks so much in advance.







Dear YMCA people,


I'm so lonely and want to make friends with any of you. I'm scared you'll be dangerous, and a lot of you don't have the same interests as me, but I feel so out of it, so lonely and bored and depressed, though I feel whole for once. I'm anti-depressed. But I'll still get depressed if I have no one to talk to! I'd listen to your problems. I'd do anything. Oh, God.


~KMC


Dear MADDuck,


I feel so distant from you. I feel like I'm not stimulating enough for you. I'm too depressed. Depressed people are so pathetic. I'm ashamed to be depressed. I don't know if I want my best friends, the people I spend my whole life with and talking to, to know I'm depressed. Well, I'm understimulated. But I was depressed depressed before, and that is not pretty, and yes you are depressed too and need antidepressants too, but I just feel like we're a bunch of tired old people who can't snap out of it and buck up and have energy and actually do stuff; you want a life and all that and so do I, but I also like my controversy and excitement. Maybe writing novels, and my philosophy book, will be enough. I think it will be, actually. I enjoy our conversations-- I enjoyed the one we had today more than the others for some reason. I'll probably be calling you tomorrow.


Dear username88,

I need to think of some stuff to say to you. I hope you'e doing alright. I'm not forgetting you. Samtoo is moving down there, and then someone else, and then it will be me. Please hang on. Once I've got there I'll never have to be distant from you like this again.

Dear ________,

Maybe you haven't noticed, but I could give you a run for your money in the moodiness department. I just tend to not express it as much, that's all. In fact, J told me a few weeks ago that I was one of the moodiest people she knew. It pissed me off at first and then I realized she was right. Lol, why do you think we get along so well? I haven't let you in on this yet (it tends to freak people out a bit, but I think you'd be ok with it), but I notice everything about the people I interact with. I've been observing people for so long that it's as automatic as breathing to me. Your tendency to be emotional is a big part of what I like in you. I don't think I'd be able to relate to you if you weren't emotional.

Moodiness is typical for an Aspie. And we tend to be paranoid too. In fact, most of the time, paranoia is what sets off my moodiness. I mis-interpret situations because I tend to think the worst about a person's intentions when I'm interacting with them. The more emotionally I'm vested in the person, the worse it is. It takes a while for me to get past that and to feel completely comfortable around that person. I usually don't let on that I'm upset though; it's difficult for me to verbalize my feelings, although I've gotten better in the last few years.

dear (yes, you again)
thank you for yesterday.
it meant a lot that you didn't get pissed with me.
and all kinds of other stuff i just can't seem to verbalize like i said.
i wonder how you are doing, just afraid to ask...

thanks again for the hugs,
me.

Dear Rachel,
You are a paranoid idiot, now calm down and DO NOT hurt yourself.

Sincerely,
Rachel

Dear Rachel,

oh, please share the reason for your paranoia; I have been paranoid before and might relate!

~Annoying Ana

Dear me,

You did great in one way yesterday, I'm very proud of you. but work harder on the eating.

Dear Ana,
It was triggered by something my mother said that I misinterpreted. (But honestly, if someone says something in a loud, more-high-pitched-than-normal voice and phrases it as an imperative, how else do you take it besides as meaning "I'm angry with you"? (which, in my wonderful mind, swiftly warps into "Everyone hates me and wants me to die".))
I'm ok now though.

- Rachel -

Dear mom,

PLEASE take me to the doctor soon. It does seem that all they symptoms started a couple years ago, at the same time. And, no wonder, everything seems so crappily clear. Damnit, I hope it *IS* an intestinal yeast infection so i can freaking get rid of it.

OMG, me too! Exactly like that! Except my paranoia was caused by kids at school + my mother.

Oh God, kids at school suck. They were probably a good deal of the root cause of my paranoid tendencies.

dear (yup, you again)
i'm really sad right now...
i really wanted to talk to you tonight, but....
i did say i would try harder.
and i said i wouldn't do that to you any more.
so i didn't.
and i feel so alone, even with everyone around.
but it will go away, right? it always does.
i just wish....

anyways. i'm going now...

could really use a hug,
me

Same here! The humiliation they caused me was often, in many ways, worse than physical injury. And my mother sometimes blaming my ineptness with them on me or my "condition"... it's enough to kill someone's self esteem if they're gullible enough to believe that their mothers know them better than they know themselves, but luckily I wasn't like that! My self esteem still suffered though, because everyone THOUGHT I was stupid and inept or low-functioning socially like that and I wasn't, I just had horrible, terrible social anxiety that those events made a few times worse.

*sigh*
dear (yeah, yeah, you again)
thanks for talking to me.
i do feel better about things.
(and i did make the sticky note, btw)
so i'm gonna try to call tomorrow.
i'll let you know.
but thanks for listening...yet again.
*hugs*

me

Dear (Anonymous),

Thank you for trashing me to my best friend- if you hadn't, he wouldn't have told me and I would have never been aware of what a two-faced, backstabbing, melodramatic, lying, gossiping, jealous, petty, banal, unintelligent, sleazy, walking venereal disease you are.

Actually, I was aware the entire time, but chose to ignore you- as you're pretty much a worthless excuse for a Human being, and your shenanigans are, quite honestly, not that interesting. However, the things you said to my chum, and the fact that you are so painfully oblivious to the fact that he would obviously tell me as soon as he got off the phone with you- was quite entertaining. Whenever my ego has taken a beating, I can always count on losers like you to make me look good.

You say that I am living in a fantasy world, when in fact I am more in touch with reality than you are. At least I never had to screw EIGHTY different men to figure out who I am. Oh, and I wouldn't brag about it if I were you. You criticize me for being "anti-social", but the truth is that I'm for the most part a happy person and don't need constant reassurance from other people to feel good about myself- unlike you. As such, I won't ever have to contend with being an undesirable, washed-up bar-fly with sand up my cooter and shit-for-brains later in life, unlike yourself.

I am not exactly the person you think I am, and despite the fact that you seem to think I am incredibly stupid- I'm smarter (not to mention a helluva lot better looking) than you'll ever be in your entire life. If I'm so incompetent, why do I constantly have to explain big, scary words to you? Furthermore, you can try to come between my best friend and I all you like. There is no competition. Lastly, you crack me up. It says more about you than it does about me, that you're so threatened by a "ret*d".

Have a great day, try not to catch any more STDs.

-Apollyon

Dear Whoever-it-Is-That-First-Sung-"Umbrella":

Please. God. Stop. Now.

Band8PGeek