Give me a Reason

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I'm going to wait on the pills and see what this guy does, but I'm just well when you can write your own suicide note/will and not cry anymore usually means its time at least to me

sadly, the only way you can find motivation is within yourself. nobody can give it to you. it often takes years. your choice. take a shot at a life the way YOU want it to be, or walk away from it. but i have to tell you, you're damned stupid if you walk away.

Please do wait.

Find something to motivate you... doesn't matter what. It can be anything. Tell yourself that if you get through the next week, you'll treat yourself to coffee. Another week and you'll buy yourself a book. Or whatever kinds of things you like. Do something just for the sake of making yourself feel happy.

I know it might feel like life sucks (and sometimes, quite frankly, it does), but you can get through it. There are people who have been through the same kind of thing that you've gone through and we're here to help.

Just my thought if you are planning to die you should die for a cause like bombing a place which researches to "cure" autism(through aborting)
Otherwise don't commit suicide why throw away your life worthlessly
I would prefer it if you dont commit suicide because well you still might have alot of things to live for

Can we please ban the above poster for this sick and disgusting terroristic comment?

You should probably PM one of the mods about it. That's generally the best way to go about keeping things in-line on a forum.

I'll be your friend if that helps at all. I don't have any advice or anything, just that offer. I have had friends go through the same thing and so have I, so I have experience with this sort of thing.

Please let orsman have his say. I do not think his comments warrants him to be banned. Does anyone realize that how much bullying and teasing we go through in our lives so If an aspie decides to kill his/her bullies and get killed in the process, an aspie matyrdom, then one cannot hold orsman responsible for that. Therefore, we should discuss these issue seriously and not say illogical things like banning anyone. The problem is bullying and teasing and school shootings and killings will not stop by banning those who suggest these action. Anyone could have realized individually what orsman has said, he has just been politically incorrect which is an aspie trait.

I don't know if it's too late to help, but I will tell you now that the cliche "you never know what's round the corner" is scarily true... I realise that hearing about other people is not necessarily what you want to hear, but just give it a few minutes, have a read and you never know... it might just help... *hugs*

When I was between the ages of 13-18 I was very depressed - I had a list of over 500 reasons why the world would be better off without me. I hated every second of my waking existance and believed my family (I didn't really have any friends) would be a lot better off without the burden that I was to them. I self-harmed regularly and even tried to kill myself a few times. I was never successful (obviously) and although I hated myself for failing at the time, I ended up struggling through, surviving, muddling through...

It was around the age of 18 that I realised that - I wasn't dependant on "having a boyfriend", "fitting in", or "having friends". There was not one single other person on the planet responsible for my happiness; that was dependant on me, myself and I. If I was unhappy, I shouldn't have to rely on anyone else to make me happy. So I didn't. I dumped the loser boyfriend that I'd been attempting to have a relationship with and went out there on my own.

I had a (rubbishy) job, which gave me an income, and eventually I was able to get a house and my own lovely kitties . In the time since then, I've been with some other losers, some OK guys and eventually found my (AS) partner, who is perfect for me. Last year we bought a house together, this year we got our 4th kitty. We have our ups and downs and every single second is worth it.

I realise that every situation is different, and that everyone reacts differently to different situations... But if it can take me over 5 years to work out why I was un-happy (and even now, some of the background reasons haunt me occassionally), and then even longer to find someone that I can be happy with, who loves me (in his way) and I love (in my way), then there is hope for each and every single person on the planet - you just have to work out what you want from life and if you're prepared to go through a little bit of time, effort and possibly a little bit of emotional pain, to get there, then there's every chance in the world that you'll make it...

It's taken me until I'm 30 to really appreciate the fact that I'm still here - 17 years after I first started to seriously think that me and the world would be better off without each other. And now, I can appreciate that the frustrated 13-year old girl so long ago, was unsuccessful in her attempts to end my life. I can also be thankful for every single problem she/I faced and survived at the time - every single loser boyfriend, every emotional pain, every single trouble that has touched my life - as they have all added up to make me the person I am today. I look at the scars from my self-harm and am glad they exist. If I didn't have them, it means I hadn't found a way to try to help myself cope (though I realise that different people have different coping mechanisms) and probably would have succeeded in killing myself.

If I could see that 13-year old again, I'd like to thank her for surviving... for giving me a chance to become who I am today...

If you give up now, you will never give your future you a chance to exist, nevermind give yourself the chance to be happy and actually find that right someone... I do hope you meet that future you one day - and that she can look back and thank the troubled you, as you are now, for just putting those tablets back in the cupboard and walking away.

Best wishes for your future hopes and dreams
x

Saylor, do you not have any special interest ? Are you not good at phyiscs/maths or some art or music? I know that sounds like stereotype but still the question is serious. NT men often use NT women for their sexual purpose and aspie woman would be very easy to prey upon. I would suggest next time you get into a relationship then do not too go very close early, not even kiss and see how much the man can wait. Most will go away without making any noise, no pun intended.

Last edited by daspie on 18 Nov 2010, 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Your situation is most likely temporary.

i recomend not to take a bottle of pills. it will take days and you are likely to be found unconsious and sent to a hospital, then to the psychiatric ward and kept there for a while. Trust me its not a fun place. That being said i am also having similar thoughts to yours but for years now, just recently have i decided that maybe i should act on them.