This was inspired by something I read on another thread:
nonames wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
I can relate, I told my parents that they don't seem to concern with a thing called mental well being. Its really complicated just because you can do something in a good situation but you can't always when they want you to. Just so much stuff can interfere. For me it can be too much noise or social anxiety. Then you fall into depression and you don't even want to perform anymore.
Yes, I'm falling into depression and just don't want to do anything and they're complaining even more.
OfTheWillowFae wrote:
I cannot stand ableists. My whole life has been full of them. Ugh.
The only thing that helped with my parents was to tell them that I've done the research and I know more about my body and what I need than they do. And then to say that over and over again until it clicks. Most people have no idea that saying «try harder» is incredibly insensitive and belittling. belittling. Just because they're mundies doesn't mean they'll get it after the first shot.
I had to be suicidal and nearly attempt it FOUR TIMES (my meltdowns are baaad) before they paid ANY attention.
I'll try that approach. I am suicidal or at least I think about it a lot but would NEVER act on it. Plus I've been told by family members "don't do something stupid or I'll get mad" which I take to mean don't cut yourself or try to commit suicide. I don't want to tell them my thoughts. I think they would think I'm lying because I was never like that before (yeah, because I f***ing cried myself to sleep).
But thanks for understanding. Helps to know I'm not crazy for expecting them to be decent human beings.
I have had this exact same issue with my sister (who was my guardian...I am nearing 30 now). She doesn't seem to understand that a lifetime of mistreatment and misundertanding, combined with a generally terrible/non-existent home environment pile onto my developmental problems and make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to cope and function. It's like she just doesn't WANT to believe that I can't work or 'put myself out there', and that I am just not capable of going through the wrangle with the DSHS and employers; I wouldn't SURVIVE trying. She's read about it but it's like she just doesn't get it, and I am so SICK of explaining it to her and having her blithely ignore every f*****g thing I've said. It's like she believes I have AS but doesn't want to believe that it actually has these effects or that ordinary social services and mental health places are DETRIMENTAL to my well being. I understand that being an NT she can't understand it from the inside, but it's like she's blaming me for something I can not control and that what she wants me to do is making it impossible for me to function AT ALL, much less independently.
She wants to 'help' but it's all 'talk to the DVR' 'take your prescription' and now she's banned pot smoking at her house so the ONE SUBSTANCE I HAVE EVER DISCOVERED IN MY LIFE THAT HELPS STRESS MANAGEMENT IS OFF THE TABLE IF I LIVE WITH HER. Why is it so f*****g HARD to get it through to her that the kind of help she can provide me is to provide some executive-assistance in harassing the SSI, etc? I have been living with her for half my life, and it's so frustrating because looking back on my life my executive and social functioning issues seem so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS I do not understand how she can read about Asperger's and hear the things I say and have been saying (since long before I'd heard of AS) and still have this 'ableist' attitude that somehow looking for work is either possible or useful for me. It's like she doesn't want to believe I can't do it because it's too much effort, and now I'm basically out of a house, home, phone and any money or food because of it.
05 Oct 2013, 9:44 am
