HUGE meltdown

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Hi everyone,

I'm sorry for placing this in the wrong section, if I did that.
Anyway, I had an huge meltdown yesterday. It was because I my parents are abusing their power. They have the power to either kick my out of the house and ruin my life, stop paying for college and all that. And they use that power to force me to do some kind of things.. I don't want to go too detailed into this. But, do you have meltdowns? If so, how do you deal with them? Because I started screaming, and saying awful things to people, I started throwing with things and wrecked my new smartphone.

When I was younger I used to have more shutdowns, a lot of them actually. And now I start to have more meltdowns. I don't have them that much, but if I have them, they're bad. I have them around two times each three months.

Presgulo

This is the right section I believe. And the situation does not sound good if your parents are using their position to get their way rather then work out issues with you.

But what you describe sounds to me more like throwing a tantrum, which is just another dysfunctional way of trying to get your way rather then dealing with it reasonably/maturely.

You may feel their unfairness justifies your reaction, but I don't think it does. As the saying goes 'two wrongs don't make a right'. It also is about the most unsuccessful and self defeating approach you can take. If it doesn't get you thrown out in the meantime, it has a good chance at some point to escalate to police involvement, hospitalization, jail.

I suggest you instead put your efforts into to working on conflict resolution with your parents. A way in which you can reasonably sit down and discuss the issues and your concerns. Family conseling is one thing to consider.

I used to throw tantrums like that too and because of it, most of my family does not want to have anything to do with me because they are afraid of me


The best you can do is calm down first then ask if you can arrange a meeting with your family and each of you tell yourself of the story without cutting someone down or being accusatory.

Thanks a lot for the replies.

I read a bit about tantrums. It seems to me that you do them (in this case) in front of your parents. But I did it when I was alone, in my room. And the part where I said hurtful things to them was when I tried to hear their story and they just kept being unreasonable. I also screamed in my room, which I actually never do since I am usually a quiet and calm person. It wasn't really screaming though, but for me it was very loud. I just don't know how to deal with this kind of 'power abuse'.

The last time I had something like this, was when I just got annoyed by alot of sounds. I was on my way home from the hairdresser, who kind of messed my hair up. But that was my bad; I can't really describe what I want. But anyway, I passed a busy road on my way home. And just got overwhelmed by all the sounds and things going on around me. Then I finally came home, and my mom was crushing spices, which made a lot of noise. Then I ran upstairs, trying to block all the 'pulses', but then someone outdoors started cutting wood or something. And then I just snapped. Is this more a kind of meltdown? I'm trying to see the difference here between a meltdown and a tantrum.

Oh no I don't live with my parents anymore. I used to throw fits in front of my mom and sister because they say things that set anyone off. Even my dad has problems with them. I used to attack them because I tried to tell them to back down and when they would not I would hit and try to bit them.

Its a good question: what is the difference between a tantrum and meltdown. But I don't think I have experienced real meltdowns or shutdowns, so don't really know what those are.

I did develop a infrequent tantrum behavior though. But for me it developed later when I was on my own as a way of dealing with anger when it built up suddenly and very strongly. I would throw something. It was a way to act out I guess, and I thought rather harmless since it was directed towards an inanimate object. I did it both alone and in the presence of others. But it was rare, maybe only once a year, or even less. Two things have made me want to stop it. One was even if just a brief event and then it was over, it still was enough to weird people out and make them nervous. Two, was that fairly quickly after the episode I would pick up the broken object and think 'Damn that cost me thirty dollars! This is stupid!'

Hopefully someone with experience in shutdown/meltdowns will respond or you can do a search here. I know it has been the topic of many conversations.

Well actually I would say that they should rather be working on their own problems, which is setting other people off. Instead of being afraid of you. Do you consider that what you had as a tantrum? Do you still have other close people in your life?
I once had the same thing as you used to have; I attacked my parents because they treated me diferently than my siblings. I tried to tell them that they treated me different. But they would just tell me I am a spoiled kid and should shut up. And then once I just snapped. But do you have control over yourself when you have those type of things?

It's almost verbatim like one of my own meltdowns. Living on my own and being able to control 'input' has made a huge difference. I cannot tell you how much happier I have been since living on my own. I used to day dream about buying a sensory deprivation chamber to sleep in..still kinda want to - the trouble with people like us who have severe sensory overload issues is that it is not controllable by will, only chemicals - but medicating or alcoholism really shouldn't be an answer.

I hope you find a way to live your life in a happier way.

I had the same thoughts about the financial part . I just wasted 600 euros. I never had these kind of more aggressive attacks until now. And they kind of freak me out because I don't have control over them. Thanks a lot for your replies Toy Soldier.




Well I actually was also thinking about living on my own, no wife or kids. No contact anymore with my parents, maybe I'll keep contact with my siblings. And some friends if I had them at that age. I am just afraid of isolating myself too much. Because when I isolate myself I start talking less and less in everyday life. Also at school, and at that age, work.
What works for me is putting earbuds in, I have some very good noise isolating earbuds. Sometimes I wear them when I'm not even listening to music. But I only do this when I'm in the central of a big city while shopping. It helps a lot. And I try to take frequent breaks between my work. If I don't, I get very tired very quickly. Also playing an instrument helped me expressing my emotions, and working out helps me getting my frustration out. Doing all these things help a lot.
Thanks for your kind words.