Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition Was In!! !

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I came to the forum with high hopes for dialogue and understanding. And I posted asking how to get replies, because on the one hand, I knew there would be a lot of people I wanted to communicate with here. And on the other, the sheer din of so many threads seemed like the kind of large busy public space which I try quite hard to avoid, and where I feel I cannot feel any peace or connection. And my attempts to get conversations going didn't really last very long.

I did notice that more people posted about a dead cat than a personal bereavement, and have noticed, too, in real life, how difficult it is to send that condolence card, ask the bereaved person how they are for real and wait for an answer. And how others have been awkward when I have had a loss. I don't blame anyone for this difficulty, I think it's part of being human.

But this thread made me sad. I am not criticizing anyone. It's just that I had such high hopes for how the dialogue and community here might work, the replies I might get about small matters, the kindness that might stretch across the world about large matters. The idea that maybe no matter what people say about us and empathy, there might be a special protected space for compassion and acceptance. And then I saw---hey, the board is a bit more like the NT world than I thought. A person has to make themselves known, etc.

It's called wrongplanet here. (Well, I think it's a *right* planet, and the world would be good if NT mode was not dominant.) And grief is also a different planet, even, according to that memoir by Joan Didion, a kind of madness...
It's easy to post stuff, press the send button and all that. I wish we could all also cut each other some slack. There's a choice about what to ignore, what to pay attention to, online. It's all too predictable that a thread about a dead cat gets more replies than a shattering personal bereavement. Because humans are like that in the real world--I have delayed and delayed sending condolences at times because it was so awkward. But I know if I had suffered a shattering loss I'd hope for people to cut me some slack...What does each person need to let go, let it be?? And is there anyone who has not at some point needed understanding from others after a reaction to a difficult situation?

I felt desolated by reading your story. I am very sorry about that. But I am sure you will overcome this pain some day. I send you my strength.

I must say that BeaArthur was very comprehensive and kind with you. I think she said what was appropriated. I understand your reaction though, because you must be under an extraordinary amount of stress. But I think you were not able to appreciate somebody's effort to help you. Please, try to see the good intentions in people next time. I know there's a lot of mean people out there, but some just want to help. If you allow them, it might make a huge difference for you. *peace*

By the way, I didn't reply before only because I hadn't seen your thread before. As many others, for sure. I wish I had seen it yesterday.

I wish you all the best. I've never been through anything barely similar, and I can't give you any advice, I can only offer you my support. I am very sorry. Be brave.

Add any and all user names to the "foe" list on your user control panel. This will block all PMs to you from the "foe" as well as warn you about posts in a topic from the "foe."

Sometimes, people who are profoundly sad try to inject a little humor into the situation.

The trouble was: most people didn't know the context from which he got "just dropped in....."

It was a hit song by the First Edition (with a pre-famous Kenny Rogers).

It was psychedelic in nature, and was done in 1968. I felt like it was sort of making fun of LSD trips.

I absolutely agree.

There's no place for people to write nasty PM's to people just because they don't agree with you in a thread.

It just shouldn't be done.

I didnt read that post. I was only trying to bring some peace here and understand everyone. And I absolutely don't want to come into any "toxic" discussion.

Please copy any nasty PMs received, and send the copy to a moderator. It will be considered just as the posts reported from forums are. Mods don't and can't read every post in every thread so we rely on direct reports most of the time to keep the workload for us manageable.