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No, I've not tried online dating so can't compare notes.

I have tried dating websites. Pof tinder and meetme. They work somewhat. I went on a lot of dates and I try to be straight up with them right away about my condition which never ends well. The ones that excepted it ended up being bad apples eventually and became super manipulative. I have tried others that are for autistic people. But I never see anybody by me. This frusterated me specially the one I met that screwed me recently not to mentioned my ex wife who destroyed me in court and didnt even have a lawyer. I probably will never touch one again. You can try but I think that is for people that know how to play it like a game. Going on more then a dozen dates a month never was fun either.

How do get over the feeling of just feeling completely stupid?

To be fair, he doesn't treat me like I'm stupid. He's just being too nice, like I'm amusing to him.

I've just realised the word I'm looking for is, mortified.

I feel mortified whenever I see him. I'm actually annoyed that he's good looking. I love his personality, he's super quirky and I really enjoy talking to him, but I feel like, I dunno, probably loads of girls have been at least superficially interested in him, so what chance did I ever have?

I feel stupid

Hi Hurtloam.

I don't see any definite evidence that the guy has rejected you. Has he told you that he just "wants to be friends?"

I understand it's hard (contrary to the perceptions of some) for a woman to "take the bull by the horns" and assertively pursue someone. And I don't believe you should do so this time.

I'm thinking: this has nothing to do with YOU, per se. It's just the circumstances. Many times, two people have to have the same intentions AT THE SAME TIME in order for a romance to work. He hasn't said to himself: "No, I don't want Hurtloam as a lover." I'm guessing, perhaps, that he's had bad relationships recently and is cautious.

Have you had a crush on this man for a long time?

No he's not said so directly. I thought maybe he liked me too at the beginning of this year. A male friend of mine told me that if by this point he's not making an effort to spend time with me or at least message me he's probably not interested in me the same way as I am with him.

I've sort of liked him for a few years. It's just been little things he's said or done that I've noticed and i've thought, yeah I like that.

Thing is I'm not very good with emotional stuff so I've kinda made a fool of myself around him a few times now. Just over-reacting, being overly nervous when I used to be calm around him. I used to not care, but now I'm very aware of my actions.

I'm not very good at processing emotions. I either freeze up or get really fidgety. I want to stim, but dont really have a soothing technique, maybe I do, but I don't notice it. Tapping things and wiggling my toes is probably what I do most.

I get so stressed I end up crying when I go home. I can't cope so I have melt downs when I go home, which hasn't happened in years. I thought I was over meltdowns. School used to cause them and trying to make friends as a child and not coping. I've broken a few kitchen implements recently.

I'm stressing myself out as well by trying to keep how I feel a secret from our friends because I feel like I really have no hope with him, so that makes me more stressed and more stupid around him. I don't want any pity or people saying, "Awh that's a shame." I feel really lonely, like I'm trying to cope on my own. I've only told a family member and one friend, but they both don't know him.

This has only happened this intensely with one other person before and I can't really understand why. It freaks me out a bit. Like how I feel is disproportionate to how things really are.

To me it sounds like you need to focus elsewhere, maybe not have as much contact?

If he is interested he will notice this and wonder and probably make more of an effort. Don't forget this goes 2 ways he might be interested but not sure what to do. If he thinks you are losing interest might make him do something about it.

I dunno. That seems counterintuitive. He'll probably think, "oh she wasn't that interested anyway". That's what I'm thinking about him.

I'm not actively seeking him out. We live in the same small town and have the same group of friends. We just tend to run into each other.

Still sad, like I've eaten barbed wire.

Hugs

I don't think one could eat barbed wire though.

Is there anything I can do?

Ok, I wasn't sure of your exact situation was thinking it was work you kept seeing him. But showing interest then not is a turn on don't forget https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/be ... attraction

I guess this is maybe why your having a problem finding someone as well if it's a small town where you live. I am finding it hard to find someone and I live near 2 cities! According to wikipedia population is 503,127 for Manchester and 233,933 for Salford! maybe I am been too picky

ZD I think that's all about when you first meet someone create a little mystery not if you're know ln someone for several years.

You can eat barbed wire---but it's quite painful, and probably contains many nasty bacteria.

My fondest hope is that the guy reciprocates your interest.

I dunno. Maybe it's just a Daria and Trent thing. That's how stupid I feel.

I used to have a little crush on Daria.

The world, dear one, is full of a**holes.

OK, maybe not a**holes. People with issues, and incompatible folks.

Rejection is just the process of finding out they're incompatible before it's too late.

Doesn't stop it from hurting.

Especially when your self-esteem's hanging out with the pill bugs.

*hugs*