I am tired of being a lightning rod for everyone's bad luck.

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I'm tired of being unloved.

I'm tired of being treated like a hideous beast.

I'm tired of being expected to "suck it up" and take it when I've already done so for a quarter of a century.

I'm tired of having no money.

I'm tired of having no one who understands me.

I'm tired of feeling like I should have never been born.

I'm tired of my feelings swinging back and forth.

I'm tired of my heart.

I'm tired of my brain.

But most of all, I'm just tired.

*Hugs*

I'd say "try to focus on the positive things about yourself and your life," but this is too simplistic. Sometimes things just get to be too much.

But things will get better, even though it doesn't seem like it now.

Thanks for the hug, Ann.

Right now I really don't have anything positive in my life. I wish I did; maybe it'd soften the blow a little. I can't even say right now that I'm glad to be alive or healthy. Well, maybe that I'm alive, but I'm certainly not healthy. I sure hope things do get better, because I am at the end of my rope right at this moment.

Hope is a powerful concept; as long as one maintains it they are far from headed to the glue factory. Take comfort in the fact you hold hope; without it there is truly no other reason for existence. Things do not get instantly better usually but it only takes 1 thing to change. Recognize your state as a season - sometimes the winters are colder and longer but eventually springtime does come back around. I struggle to properly convey my concern so don't see these as platitudes, I wish to offer something genuinely useful

Do not know your situation, but know when everything more-or-less sucks, you have to start building a new life for yourself, one cornerstone at a time. It may sound materialistic, but if you can work on changing number 4 on your list it is probably the most important structurally at this point.

Money is really about the only thing I can count on, sadly. But it seems like any attempt I make to actually change my life is held back or killed by bad luck.

I should have explained what I meant by my thread title. It seems like when bad things happen to me, good things happen to people all around me. Like I'm somehow absorbing their bad luck and taking it for myself. Conversely, on the very rare occasion I have even a mediocre day, terrible things happen to everyone else around me.

It sure seems that way in my household; my brother quits a good job, then I start getting more customers after a long dry spell. then once my calls die off again, a housemate gets a few transport runs from one of his buddies, then my mom will sell her old textbooks and so on. Nobody's usually ever broke at once but it seems to happen in a way that everyone's still just breaking even.

It's just ebb and flow, so don't compare yourself to a butterfly flapping its wings that causes earthquakes in China.

It's natural to strive for improvement in life, but take into regard that some things aren't happening now because they're not ready to happen yet

Feeling completely down again. I learned today I should always trust my gut, even though my gut only tells me that bad things will happen and will continue to happen, with no light in sight.

I don't believe in the whole "things don't happen until they're ready to happen" mantra. Mainly because there's a small selection of people for which things never happen, no matter how hard they try.

How are you in this present days ?

you have found your way?

thank you !

The OP last visited in June 2013, so is unlikely to see or respond to this bumped thread now.