How do you get diagnosed or help as an adult?

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I have been struggling for a long time with what I really feel is Aspergers. My son has it and we are like identical, from how we think, obsess, behave, textures, and the whole list can go on. I have done research also for years but there is only so much the internet can get you. I am having a lot of problems that are affecting my life, and while I have figured out how to navigate better than I ever have, these issues are still severely holding me back in my life. For one, while I sound pretty well-versed in writing, I am a complete wreck when it comes to verbal communication. I get people wrong, say the wrong thing, too much, too little, and on and on. I have come to recognize where I struggle understanding people, like being way too literal. It makes me unable to take a joke, understand when they are vague, or in understanding what to others might seem like assumed logic.

I am not really sure what to do or where to go from here. Resources are great, but I feel that I really need to see a professional. I feel that I could also really need therapy. I think speech therapy would help a lot, but you can't just walk up and say 'I can't talk, fix me'. You need referrals, diagnosis, etc and then it is really expensive.

I try to talk to other people about it, but they don't get it. I can't get them to understand that I'm not processing things, seeing things, or understanding things in the same way that they are. The suggestions they often give me aren't often things I can use because it's based on how they get their head to work. When i try to explain that it's not JUST a problem of confidence and not knowing what to say, there is also a completely other kind of barrier, they get frustrated, angry, upset, or shut down on me. I can't even explain it well enough to convey what I am trying to describe.

What do you do, how do you move past it?

Thank you for any suggestions!

What kind of health insurance do you have? Does it cover any psychiatric care? Approach this as you would any other mental health issue - "I think I have PTSD" (and be able to state why), "I think I am clinically depressed" (and be able to state why), "I think I have autism" (and explain why), when you phone to make an appointment. Be prepared to see several people before you get someone to diagnose an adult; you might even need to be referred out of network if they don't have someone with this expertise.

Good luck. It can be done.

Have you made any enquiries to be assessed ? Its not always the best route for support but its good for confirmation that it is what you have. Ive had the most support from free groups online and just being able to freely ask about some of the problems Ive struggled with.

Then using all the info Ive made massive changes to my life so it is aspie friendly, and they go a long way

I had some speech therapy as an adult and it certainly helped, but it wasn't part of an autism diagnosis.

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I have written a description about how to seek a diagnostic assessment for autism so that seekers become their own best advocate in the assessment, not merely an observer. Some of the information mightn't apply to your situation, but I suspect some of it will apply well.
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For autistic adults, diagnoses can be tricky. Many of them don’t need governmental, educational and corporate accommodations like younger people do (though some do in their futures), so a diagnosis is less necessary.

Diagnosing autistic adults is difficult because we present our autism differently than younger people. We have learned to mask (accommodate) in social and workplace situations. Unless a diagnostician is well trained and experienced in diagnosing adults, even diagnosticians can see convincing masking skills as the absence of autism if they aren’t careful.

So, what is an autistic adult to do? Well, many are “self-diagnosed” (for some, the correct descriptions are “self-aware” or “self-identified”) through their completion of self-reported screening tests like the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre’s Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) (Adult), Empathy Quotient (EQ) for Adults, Friendship and Relationship Quotient (FQ), and Systemizing Quotient (SQ) (Adult). These tests have been shown to be quite accurate when compared to actual diagnoses.

For many autistic adults who have masking skills, knowing that they are likely autistic is all they seek from the screening tests. They move on in life with that knowledge and leave it at that. The world is full of self-identified autists. For others (like myself), the confirmation of a diagnosis is important to their knowledge and personal awareness; besides, some within the autistic community challenge those who are self-identified as having created their own diagnosis. Many diagnosed autists (including me) disagree with them because self-awareness matters a lot in most diagnoses.

So, how best should an individual seek a diagnosis? Here are some suggestions based my own experience and that of many others:

1) Complete one or more of the Cambridge screening tests ( http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/ ). To get you on your way, self-scoring AQ test is available online elsewhere ( https://www.psychology-tools.com/autism ... m-quotient ). Keep copies of their questions and your answers, as well as your scores. These copies will help you progress toward a diagnosis as well as informing your diagnostician about how your overall screening was accomplished. This will also identify what specific clinical deficits within your screening need attention.

2) Read one or more diagnostic books about autism. One of the very best is The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood, Ph.D. ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843106698 ). The book is as interesting as it is informative about the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria (the criteria was updated in the DSM-5, but the book still applies). Reading it will help you focus on those characteristics that your diagnostician will be investigating. Another very good book is Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder): How Seeking a Diagnosis in Adulthood Can Change Your Life by Philip Wylie ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849054339 ). The book describes how to navigate the process of self-identifying as autistic or pursuing a diagnosis.

3) Search the Internet for web sites which describe the characteristics that are known to be associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome and Autism Disorder. Attwood has published a great list of characteristics online ( http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... -aspergers ). A list of examples for the DSM-5 criteria has also been published online ( https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Scr ... eb2013.pdf ). Armed with these characteristics, make a detailed list of those which affect you and how they affect you in your life (personal, social and professional). Also, include copies (or descriptions) of your previous diagnoses (called “comorbids”) that might affect autism (these include obsessive-compulsion, anxiety and depression).

4) Think back to your childhood and identify those characteristics that were present in your youngest years. An autism diagnosis expects to show deficits in an individual’s early developmental years. For most autists, these characteristics include introversion (shyness), neologisms (made up words), angry outbursts (meltdowns), isolation (shutdowns), sensory sensitivities (noise) and lining up toys or books in order of size, shape or color (routines). In fact, many of the autism characteristics for adults were present in childhood.

5) Finally, you have scheduled a diagnosis and the day is approaching! Understand that, in the United States and many European nations, one of the gold-standard diagnostic tests is the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule 2nd Edition (ADOS-2) test (just FYI, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_Di ... n_Schedule ) within which is the module 4 (adult) test. You might want to search specifically for a diagnostician who uses this test. In it and similar tests, the diagnostician will take two or three hours completing it by asking you questions, asking you to complete a puzzle, asking you to narrate an illustrated book, and so on (a good description of the test and its modules can be viewed at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVRZKMsDQGM ). It can seem a little insulting at first because it might feel like a child’s test. But, some of its activities are meant to show how well autistic adults use logic and imagination (called “Theory of Mind” or ToM).

My advice is: Try not to mask. Don’t “fake” anything. Just be yourself. You might also be asked to complete the ADOS-2 Social Responsiveness Scale test which is very similar to the Cambridge screening tests. At certain breaks, the diagnostician will score the test so far, and ask if you want to continue or rest for five to 10 minutes.

At this point, you will be able to share copies of your list of characteristics, comorbids and screening tests with the diagnostician. My diagnostician LOVED that I brought copies for her. She said that they saved her a lot of time. She even used some of my detailed descriptions of characteristics within her written assessment a few weeks after the diagnosis.

At the end of the test, your diagnostician will tell you your diagnosis (Autism, Autism Spectrum or Non-Spectrum). A written assessment will be sent to you in two to three weeks.

...Sooo, my advice is simple: Screen yourself and enjoy the knowledge of your screening results, or seek a diagnosis in the most informed way that you can. I respect either choice, and most others will, too. Good luck!