I feel like I am going to snap but am I overreacting?

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And if you spend every penny you have in pursuit of your goal, give it your best effort, and fail, are you okay with that?

I know that I am ok with it for my own goals. I’d rather try & not succeed than never try and always wonder if I could have made it - even if it costs me every penny.

IMO, you have to make peace with that possibility & accept it fully. Still do everything you possibly can to avoid it, but if it happens and you’ve lost everything, you have to be the kind of person that’s still going to be able to smile knowing that you gave it everything you had and would do it again vs not at all because you’d rather “die trying,” than give up on a goal. You’d have to be 100% ok with starting over at $0 if you go all in and fail. (If I’m fact you go 100% all in.)

Me? I’d rather spend over $100k on school and not make it to my end goal than never even try. Can you honestly say you’re like that? Or would it be so devastating as to destroy you’re whole world & sense of self worth? Obviously a certain level of disappointment would be expected from a crushing defeat - but would you be able to look on the bright side and carry on with a plan B and start back at square one with a smile?

Others may not even considering contemplating this. But I think it’s important.

Oh okay I see what you mean. A part of me is okay with it, a part of me isn't. Why would you rather spend 100K on school though? I mean either way, you are spending the money, so why are you okay with spending it on school, rather than the end goal, if you are still out the money in the end?

Only because the formal post secondary academic education is a requirement to pursue my goal. If I didn’t have to go through that process to achieve it, I wouldn’t. But, it’s 100% absolutely necessary, so, I’ll spend the money and do the work. If I don’t succeed I’ll have spent my money But I’ll Also Know that I gave it my best shot 100% and pursued my goal relentlessly and failed vs never trying at all and wondering if I could have made it. At least I’ll then Know that the answer to that is “No, you couldn’t do this.” And there’s value in that to me - to have given it my all and failed would be better then not making an attempt at all and always wondering if maybe, just maybe, I could have done it. No amount of money in the bank is worth wondering that for the rest of my life.

Oh okay I see.

Well people are telling me to make the movie for only say 20K, instead of 150k, just like movies like Primer or El Mariachi did, but I mean it's hard to budget it for that low. I could try to get a line producer on board to get the cost that low if that would better. It's just people are saying then I won't be out so much if I just spend 20k or less on a feature.

I don’t know what a line producer is or how that would keep costs down.

I’ve never heard of El Mariachi do not sure what the movie is or how it was made very low budget and still successful.

But what seems to be of utmost importance is the script & concept. It would have to be incredibly simple, yet extremely enticing & captivating, in order to pull off a $20k feature that people want to see. If I were in your shoes, I would rewatch Primer and El Mariachi AND as many other ultra low budget films that turned out to be hits and try to decipher what the elements are that made them so successful despite their low budgets. All of the elements. Chances are you will be able to find some that are common amongst them all. Could be sound related, plot/story, amazing cinematography on a shoestring budget, type or quality of acting, direction, stunts, effects etc etc etc I’m not in the business and won’t pretend to even know all of the elements of a movie - chances are there are components of each film that were incredibly well done WAY beyond the expectations of their respective budgets. You need to figure out what all of these things are so that you can use them as criteria for selecting a script that has the potential to be transformed into a low budget feature length film with a high probability of success. Then you can begin the very careful process of trying to find that “diamond in the rough,” of a script that has a story that can be told on film for <$20k and still be something people would line up to see.

IMO. That’s how I would approach it. By analyzing every film that’s achieved this before and seeing what the common threads are, then trying to find a potential film to make that hits on all the elements & this has a higher chance of success. Otherwise what’s more likely to happen is that you’ll select something that Can be watered down and made for $20k, but in the end won’t be successful because bringing that particular movie to proper life might require a $200k special effects budget or something so the $20k version looks like some kid’s backyard project and thus it’s a feature film that Was made for $20k for the sake of making a feature film for $20k just to say you’ve made a feature, that then never gets seen by anyone because it never had the elements necessary for success in the first place.

Make sense? Makes sense to me, anyways. And if my goal were to make such a 20k Primeriachi, I’d either wait until I came up with such an idea myself Or one came across my desk that has all of the right elements, even if it takes quite some time to find such a needle in a haystack. Better to bide your time than waste your money. Be patient and do the work required to Make Sure you’re setting yourself up for the best chance of success vs jumping at the first opportunity that presents itself just because maaaaaaaybe you could make it work.

Oh when you say you would wait till you came up with an idea yourself, you mean an idea for a screenplay, or an idea for how to make the movie?

Screenplay - but Also how to make the movie. The stars would have to align before I pulled the trigger on such a massive and risky undertaking. The right idea for a screenplay would either have to come to my mind or across my desk, And I would have to have a pretty good idea of how I could bring it to life in order to make it The One that I took a risk on creating.

Oh okay, well I hope the script is good enough. So far it's been mixed from aweful to awesome from people I had critique it.

But I was told from other filmmakers this was normal and everyone is going to have a majority consensus and you just have to make it and hope for the best, if they are right.

Why not take a vacation, if you could take it?

Is it because of budgetary considerations?

Give up on this film-making career. I felt like telling you the same thing, five years ago, but I didn't want to be the one to talk a future genius director out of a thrilling career.

Instead of saying "I'm nearly 40, I need to take the plunge soon" tell yourself "I've been dinking around most of my adult life with this idea and making very little progress, so maybe it's midlife crisis time and best be satisfied with more realistic goals."

Goldfish was very patient with you but this whole thread is a bunch of excuses, a lot of "yes but" responses, and illogical circular thinking. Many of us have to face the facts, that our desired lifestyle is not ever going to materialize, and we should change directions. I have had to. Many others have had to. Maybe you're more like the rest of us than you want to admit.

Dude has a couple hundred grand in cash in the bank - quite the financial accomplishment for an Aspie - more money than I've accumulated by a long shot right now. And money is power - he can decide what to do with it. Plus he has a lot more movie industry and film making experience than either of us combined.. as well as contacts in the biz to have his plans & ideas vetted by for valuable input to ensure he doesn't make a fatal error and murder his dollars, as "Mr. Wonderful," might say.

Just because YOU never had a dream and a couple hundred thousand dollars in the bank to pursue it with doesn't mean he should give up and join your naysayers club pity party.

ironpony:

Use BeaArthur's washed up never has been I quit game over attitude that she's trying to project onto you to fuel the fire that makes you pursue your goals just to prove people like her WRONG! Sometimes all you really need is some grumpy pessimist to tell you that you can't do something just to push you over the edge and tell yourself "F that, watch me do it!" and then start taking the steps required to put plans into motion and get things done.

When did it become legitimate to deflate and criticize in the Haven? Nobody has the right to tell someone to abandon their dreams and passions, especially in the Haven. It's no laughing matter.

Oh why do you ask?

No reason.

I can't take a vacation owing to budgetary considerations and COVID.

But, come to think of it, you're probably decently well off, so that's not the "problem."

Oh okay, but what's the problem then?