whitetiger wrote:
Second of all, you know you need help. As the above poster said, you need to find someone you trust. Call your doctor. You don't have to suffer like this. Even if you DID end up hospitalized, it would protect you from injuring yourself further and you could get intensive help. I don't know if you've been hospitalized before, but while in the hospital, they totally take care of you. It's not bad. I was hospitalized 11 times between the ages of 16-26, but none in the past 14 years. They were mostly good experiences, and mostly short (3-5 days.)
I wont tell any one in fear of ending up in the hospital. I have self admitted myself before and been to a total of 4 hospitals.
3 of them were in Massachusetts and they were nice but the 4th was in Florida it was horrible! The psyk ward doctor gave me some pills to take after i got out and we tried to fill them at our pharmacy. they said they couldn't give me them . I asked why and they said "because if you take this combination you will have a stroke".
And when I was in there the staff yelled at me to grow up and stop crying. I was having delusions about something attacking me in the dark so they turned of the lights just to wind me up.
The only people who helped me there were the patients. I had just turned 18 when I went there and they all became my adoptive parents during my stay.
The staff kept yelling at me every time i cried and it made me worse but the patients were nice to me.
That is the best hospital in my area. In the other one my old friend got raped. Needless to say the care is not good in Florida.
I do not think a hospital stay will help me. Or i would check in myself.