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I don't know what to call the title.

But a very shameful title it would be, then maybe it's better to not giving any name.

I don't know with who should I talk about this, but since you're all strangers to me then I wouldn't mind saying it. I can't stop thinking about this issue and it's killing me.


My doubts emerged by , what is most likely to be, a slip of the tongue my dad made.

This happened a while ago, when he was driving me to a y job interview , and just a minute before reaching the destination he said something very weird out of the blue: "sigh, I told her to buy a Mercedes".

I was so emerged in reading interview tips but I heard this clearly and I was like wtf?

I asked him: "...what?!"

His face was so blank for a second and he just replied "nothing,nothing...never mind".


I was just about to ask :"no what did you say again?" but he pointed me to the place of my destination.

I had to get down there quickly because the road was narrow and a inpatient driver behind was honking us.

I entered the building with an enormous question mark inside my head.

I failed this interview.

Since this day, I started observing my dad's day activities subtly. Since his retire (but he still work as contractual but much less hours), his visits to funerals and give condolences to some of his acquaintance/friends skyrocketed, at least once in a couple of day. I asked him several times to where he's going and every time he says "I had to give my condolences to Mr. X/Y". He always check the obituary page of the newspaper, recognize some acquaintance and says he's going (or claims to) to his funeral.

My mom is believing everything he says , she's suspecting nothing.

These questions kept following me: Who is that "She?" and with who he confused me with?

This is troubling my mind every single day.


Honestly, based on logic and based on his suspicious behaviors, I am suspecting that my dad has a second partner, most probably a second wife.


What's worse, I also suspect he has a son, probably around my age , a half-brother I don't know perhaps??? The guy who, for a second, had confused me with him?? Hell, maybe he has a whole second family?? Half-brothers and half-sisters?? For HOW LONG he was cheating and fooling my mother and all of us???

I can't think of any another nicer explanation, yet I have zero proof to confront him about my doubts.

If he truly hid this for decades then he hid it well, I don't know how to uncover it.

I can't afford an investigator, and due to his career life he's friend with almost all high police officers in town, I didn't meet an officer/investigator who doesn't know him yet.

I have work during the day and I don't have my own car to follow him secretly anyways.

But I need to find a way to prove (or disapprove) my suspects, my sanity is at stake.

I am really sorry this is happening ((((((Boo)))))))) I wish I knew what advice to give. Are you going to ask him about it? Perhaps he will tell you the truth if you confront him.

I know this is kind of dodgy, but have you had a chance to be alone with any of his stuff, ie his cellphone, or his receipts, or perhaps you could see where he goes on weekends...

You might not be able to follow but if you are available and can find a location he is supposed to be attending then you could get there too and see if he is really there?

That's a pretty messed up situation. It makes me sad for you and your mother. Do you think your mother could know, but be looking the other way? When my ex cheated, I knew it for quite awhile and ignored it because he still came home to the children.

I'm not sure what good can come of this. Obviously, this isn't something that should be spread. In case your mother doesn't know, you don't want her embarrassed or whatever negative emotion would come in Lebanese culture.

The best you could do is confront your father privately - yes on suspicion alone. It may strain your relationship, but it's better than driving yourself crazy. His reaction can likely verify things for you.... and then you know. I'm not sure I would push it much further. This kind of information destroys families and lives.

((awkward aspie hug))

Maybe he was talking about an aquantance that died in a car accident, he may have wanted her to get a mercedes for safety but she didnt.

you should hire a car for 2-3 days and take leave from your work or school and follow him
thats the only way you can find out
if i were you i would have followed him

An old man randomly said, "sigh, I told her to buy a Mercedes"

I've been around a lot of old men. Random thoughts that get past the filter are nothing new. He scans the obits, looking for people he knows who have passed away. He may or may not have been speaking to you. He may have been talking to himself and then realized what he said made no sense. It happens to depressed people all the time, which happens to older people after retirement. Instead of not wanting to explain it to you because it would reveal that he's lived a double life, is it possible that he didn't want to explain it because it wasn't worth it to get into? Maybe he didn't realize you would latch onto that one statement, be so distracted by it that you flunk an interview, and then assume this means he has another wife and child in the world? I mean, are you sure he's not also working in conjunction with international governments as a spy? Maybe a double spy? Maybe "she" was his supervisor that was supposed to buy him a Mercedes for his super James Bond-like vehicle so he can thwart evil forces during his secret visits to "funeral homes"? On the other hand, why stop at one extra wife? Maybe there's dozens out there with dozens more children?

You're making much ado about nothing. Leave your dad alone.

^ You could say your thoughts with the latest statement without all this uncalled lame mockery and ridiculousness.

Like every weekend, he found some death announcement of an acquaintance's father on the obituary page today, just every time while he's leaving he asked me the usual question "wanna come along?" (he knows how much I hate funerals/condolences and I only go to really close people's funerals , and he always asks me this while he's leaving to a funeral and I say an automatic no).

I was in the middle of eating my lunch but instead of saying my usual no, I said "yes".

He giggled jokingly: " you're kidding right?"

Me: "no, I know some of those folks. I am coming along." (I lied, I know no one of them).

Him: "but you need to be fully shaved, remember they're Christians (traditionally, it's preferable to go to Muslim funerals not cleanly shaved).

Me: "no problem, it's only 2 days old, I finish my meal and shave it in a minute".

he said ok but he said I should get fast for not going late.

Finished my meal super quickly (threw the rest) , I was to my way to the bathroom only to notice that he's not waiting me anywhere, his mobile phone on the table wasn't there, checked the car out of the window, he wasn't there. He was already gone. He sneaked out without telling me he's going without me, he didn't even say any excuse like he can't wait me and he has to go because he's in hurry, he just left.

He came after 3 hours and said nothing like this whole conversation didn't happen. For some reason, I didn't feel like to bring it up.

Call him and ask him why did he leave you.