Should I make suicide because of my asperger's

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I can't stand not being neurotypical, it just sucks. Why on earth I do have to have asperger's, it's so god damn rare and way too bad luck. Unemployment rate and depression is way too high and income just sucks. I can't just manage with it. Please help.

And yes, I've drank one cider when I write this so I keep this short.

You know, Asperger's is a blanket umbrella under which we all fall. Each of us, though, have different issues affecting us from day to day - school, family, loneliness, injury, homelessness, poverty, virginity, pain, a flu...you get the idea. Asperger's, in and of itself, isn't a barrier to success. People with Asperger's become very successful. Some of those comorbid conditions can slow you down (schizophrenia, anxiety, etc) so they created help for those like therapy and meds. Man, I've been through so much nonsense I have to believe that pain isn't permanent.

Well my advice is do not do anything rash, the title of the thread is a one which gives me some worry.

Try to stay calm and keep in mind that AS is not that bad afterall, many people with AS do OK for themselves.

Being an NT is over rated.

Actually I find the NT lifestyle to be rather limited and boring at times. It's all very mundane but then passion for life and what I am doing is far more important than social status, power and money to me. I'd rather be poor and alone and do what I love than have social status and money and be absolutely miserable doing something I hate.

All this social status and money stuff is really boring and is not very fulfilling...it sucks and I hate being pushed in that direction.

Passion, love, laughter, adventure (as long as I can take my quirks and oddities along for the ride with me as I do like a certain sense of sameness in some ways and a lot of change in others) and life itself is what it is really all about...a chance to do what you love, a chance to live and experience and feel and run free......passion passion passion passion (and not just of the intimate kind although that kind of passion is fabulous too!).

Whilst I like my odd routines (like having the same flavour ice cream every Saturday with a movie because I love it) I hate the boring mundane type of routine lives that many NTs seems to favour full of standing around water coolers making pointless gossip and working a 9 to 5 job just to make money...it is suffocating...no passion, just the daily grind

This is why I find myself with a dilemma lately....I am doing a degree but find the structure suffocating so although I am fascinated by my subject (evolutionary science) I am stifled by the whole process of deadlines etc. I prefer to learn in my own time and fly free. I also miss my cross stitching horrendously (my other fascination) and have a dreadful itch to want to be creative (I am torn between my intellect and my creative side at times especially when they surface simultaneously and both are fighting for attention...right now I do not know which to pursue...I want to learn my science as it is exciting but I need to stitch and learn to paint with acrylics...gah!). So I do not know what to do. Stay with the degree or fly free and learn about my fascination in my own way or time. I cannot yet decide. NT's would expect me to stay with the degree, but as I said above, their way of living is rather boring at times....

They live in a world dominated by social rules and conventions...in fact it is so dominated by those things do they ever really get the chance to live fully or do they live a life that they are conditioned to live without individual thought or any real freedom?

Last edited by bumble on 15 May 2012, 2:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.

And no you should not make suicide because of your aspergers sweetheart.

The answer to the question in your thread title is: NO NO NO NO and NO.

don't forget that everyone ends their lives no matter NT or not, because they feel downsized and don't realize that instead of feeling worthless there are plenty of ways you can get out there and find yourself, forgetting what others think of you, because you have to make yourSELF happy, and if this is the other only option, please do this.
If you love art, even if you're not a natural at writing, photography, drawing a face, making a cartoon, singing, ANYTHING, try it, get tutorials, and have fun! If you can, go places. Try to do something you've feared (not something you totally fear. Maybe just something that makes you a little uncomfortable or shy). Travel to a ton of places. No not outside the state, outside of your whole county, but if you can go back to a really nice place in your memory, discover that location and absor, eb it as if you never left it. Do you keep a journal? If not, write. a LOT. write about everything you've tried, everything you've wanted to do your whole life, no matter what anyone else says you can't do, and even if you wonder that it could ever get done, say you can and have to and WILL DO IT! boost your confidence the best you can. It's possible.

Feel free to ask me what you think about these ideas personally if you want. I've been through enough to feel warped into depression by my own bad experiences and I pretty much know your feeling, even though I've rarely considered suicide. PM me if you want, but this is all I can give right now.

--bianca

Oh, one more thing. If you can, try to find a support group, unless you've considered it already. Surrounding yourself with the right people is the way to go, so talk to a doctor or a therapist about it, if you have one. Whatever happens, don't fear being open. Confidence is key to getting out of this obstacle, and it's very possible to find who you are.

later!
--a.s.

I don't like having AS one bit. There is nothing good about mine. I'm a female, born into an NT family, so why ever was I born with AS for? Bad luck, I suppose. It makes it worse when you have 12 cousins who are all NTs and are obviously doing better socially. That is what makes me feel isolated.

I got suicidal earlier today. I burst into tears in front of my mum and her sister and yelled that I ought to kill myself and then nobody would suffer my burden any more. But, obviously, people start playing along when I behave like that, because I do it so frequently that they just think I'm just asking for their sympathy all the time. But I am not, I really did feel down at the time and got into a bit of a panic.

I've been unemployed for 4 years now, and I am getting fed up. I know it is hard for anybody to get jobs in the UK, but lots of unemployed people that I know haven't been on job-seekers as long as I have, the only ones who have are those who don't bother to look for any work. But I've been looking, having support, doing work experiences, doing voluntary work, taking courses to improve my skills....I couldn't do more if I tried, and I still haven't got into work or even been given a chance, so that is why I have more hatred thoughts about AS. And then there's the dilemma of whether to tell the employer about my AS or not, because if I do will it lessen my chances of getting the job? If I don't what if I get the job then the boss finds out I'm a bit odd in a unique way and think I'm not doing the work properly and decide to give me the sack? I'm just jealous of people who can put N/A in the disability box and move on without having to worry over it.

And there's a million other reasons why I hate having AS. It's the worst mental condition to have, in my opinion. I wish I was born with something what is more understood, or I wish I was just born NT. I really hate the way AS makes me feel. Ever since the day I was diagnosed with the s**t I hated it, and I still do to this day, so I'm never going to learn to embrace it. Embrace it?! That's like someone with cancer embracing their disease!

There have been nobler suicides. Try being the best at something else. Someone cares.

Well I don't think you should commit suicide because you have aspergers....though I can certainly see where you're coming from. Sometimes I get really freaking fed up with everything and just want to end it to. I will admit lately the reason I end up feeling like that is my PTSD and financial issues.....PTSD is the worst disorder in my opinion. But I imagine my PTSD is a little more severe than my AS.

But it seems like you're really kinda beating yourself up over having AS....remember, it's not your fault you have it and it does not make you a terrible person...but yeah if its causing this much distress I certainly won't tell you you should learn to embrace it if you don't want to you don't have to.

No, I dont think you should kill yourself for any reason. You might think its a good idea now, but you might change your mind later. But if you do kill yourself, its too late to undo it.

I think you're being a wee bit over-dramatic mate - look deep and hard in your life and you'll find something worth living for. Not all people with autism are destined for failure; a lot of autistic people succeed in life, no reason at all why you can't too. Keep your chin up and make the most of your life!

^Exactly. Not that you need my approval, but exactly.

Should I make suicide because of my asperger's?

NO

No, gaffa, you should not make suicide because of AS. You should make awesome instead, and you don't have to be NT to do it.

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to The Haven]