Negative Flashbacks

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I know this might sound stupid and rediculous but I have been having negative flashbacks from being in an abusive realtionship years ago that led me to attempting suicide a few times during this time of year between November and now I tend to get really depressed and occasionally get suicidal thoughs and thoughts of feeling worthless and unwanted in this world, thankfully I have been able to combat those thoughts but they creep up on me. Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve to be happy or to be with anyone and that I am a defective unit to be cast aside! I have suffered a lot of psychological damage from my past incident so the healing process is kind of slow although my flashbacks havent been as frequent but they still occur especially during this time of year!I just cant wait till this time passes so im over it!

I'm sorry to hear that, AspieOtaku.
You've always seemed like a good guy to me, and I think you do deserve to be happy.

It doesn't sound stupid at all. It's not pleasant at all to experience that.

Sorry to hear that otaku. Flashbacks are horrible, mess with your sleep and concentration. Wellbeing. I still get them too, I have used some mindfulness techniques which I find really useful when caught off guard by the flashbacks. I highly recommend this as it is a very practical means of dealing with some of the overwhelming weirdness that your body experiences. Check out if there are any counselors that specialize in this in your area, it is very beneficial.
<hugs>

Sorry,maybe when the days get longer you will feel better.The seasons can trigger powerful memories.

im having trouble with my past. when i was in deperession and helpless against fate. luckly i survived.

the best thing is try to confront these memories so they dont try to ruin your future. forgiving your self and "attacking" them with love is the best thing. and reflect in a postive manner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdBoUlBo_6k "Since you been gone" Kelly clarkson

I hope you feel better soon, you are a good person and you deserve good things.

Thanks guys Im starting to feel better this flash back cycle is almost over I just felt like sharing because I recently had one last night and I had an anxiety attack with urges to self harm but didn't do it.

It helps to know that the bad feelings will pass.When you become aware that the down times are part of a cycle and will leave eventually,it helps you to ride them out.Glad you are feeling better and I'd not self harm.I always feel guilty later for some reason when I get overloaded and harm myself.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs[/youtube]

Do you have a diagnosis of PTSD? If not, then you might have one coming up. It's tough, but you will survive. Hang in there. *hugs*

P.S., That post you made about the Anime Myths really helped me out. I'm developing an interest about manga and anime, and those posts were really interesting. Thank you.

I didnt get a diagnosis but there is a probability of about 87% I do have it but then again with my long term memory combined with horribile experiences of trauma from an abusive relationship from my autism I suppose you may be right! You are welcome about my rant on ignorant assumption on Otaku and anime thread as well, I was pissed at ignorant people and online trolls that I figured I laid out all the info of anime fandom that there is! Anime is my comfort zone I love it alot because I can relate to a lot of anime characters and it also provides me shelter from the unforgiving reality there is in the real world! Of course online trolls who are ignorant about anime don't last too long when they come across me Because I shut them down quickly by laying out the facts backed up with a few threats of possibly doxxing em and giving their info to 4chan for extra lulz!When it comes to anime you are never too old to be interested and you are never too young either minus ecchi and hentai those 2 are for 17 and up ecchi I reccomend around 17ish Hentai well...18 of course the rest is pretty much free game, Pokemon, Digimon and Yugio for the little ones maybe Dragonball but with Dragonball Z etc maybe arond 14 and up just my 2 yen on that. When it comes to Anime like Attack on Titan Id suggest 17 and up unless with adults to accompany due to the excess violence and gore! There are more adult animes than adult cartoons either way I wouldn't recommend showing adult animes to youngins or adult cartoons like heavy metal or cool world or Beavis and Butthead or Southpark or Family Guy to children either! Akira is not for kids either due to excessive gore and esspecialy Bible Black *adults only* haha! But like I said stick with my recommendation and your good to go!

otaku do you like this song ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWqRiddMMW0

It kinda cheered me up yeah. How you like this one? [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaLCsLOWO3w[/youtube]

i like it it kinda calmed me down.

My oldest brother is your age Otaku, and he loves his anime! Must say, I enjoy some of it too, and yes, deathnote was one of them.