I CAN' T CONTAIN THE EMOTION. Now what?

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hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 9:27 pm

Someone I met on this site and I became very good friends after chatting over AIM and through voice chat.

I eventually decided to purchase some gifts over Amazon.com for this person.

Today she is NOT answering her IMs or phone, and for the past couple of weeks has been offering excuses for why she cannot IM much while at the same time telling me of her plans to, for example, go partying.

If this means she is not my friend, I want to cancel the order so I can have the money for school.

What should I do?

Also, was I manipulated?



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 9:39 pm

I really need some advice, people. I'm really feeling down about this. Maybe the other person needs advice too. Or, maybe they are well aware of what they are doing and do not care.

My AIM screename is mcmartin870.



RedMage
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29 Mar 2007, 9:40 pm

Man, that sucks. I hate people who make up excuses just so they can't talk to you.



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 9:42 pm

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Man, that sucks. I hate people who make up excuses just so they can't talk to you.


There is a time and place for excuses not to do stuff. NT's use these all the time while well aware that they mean the opposite of their literal meanings. In many cases, those on the receiving end accept these excuses.

It's just that HERE, I cannot tell what the reason is for the excuses, which is VERY distressing.



RedMage
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29 Mar 2007, 9:44 pm

Just don't talk to them or something. I tend to stop talking to people if they've done something I don't like. But then, you stop worrying about what they did and start talking to them again. That happened with me and someone here.



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 9:45 pm

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Just don't talk to them or something. I tend to stop talking to people if they've done something I don't like.


It is she who is not talking to me. About things I've done, she has indicated nothing that she didn't like.



RedMage
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29 Mar 2007, 10:15 pm

Mhm... I don't know what you can do about it.



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 10:16 pm

Okay, then if you were me, would you cancel that Amazon.com order?



RedMage
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29 Mar 2007, 10:18 pm

Yeah, if it was expensive I would. And if the person doesn't deserve it I would cancel it.



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 10:23 pm

RedMage wrote:
Yeah, if it was expensive I would. And if the person doesn't deserve it I would cancel it.


Hmmm. Thanks for your advice.

On the one hand, the amount of money is a lot to me, since I am a student. Also, the person might not care if the orders were canceled.

On the other hand, I hate to just "pull the rug out from under" this person, especially if they are experiencing some serious psychological problem.



Last edited by hyperbolic on 29 Mar 2007, 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

RedMage
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29 Mar 2007, 10:25 pm

hyperbolic wrote:
Thanks for your advice.

That's what I'm here for mate.



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29 Mar 2007, 10:29 pm

Ugh, I have been in this situation a few times.

Cancel the order, ASAP. Do not spend a single penny on this person until they do something for you. It sounds like you have done enough for her already.

I once bought a plane ticket that I didn't get to use, because, as ALWAYS, "something happened" last minute, and we never got to meet up.



hyperbolic
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29 Mar 2007, 10:44 pm

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Cancel the order, ASAP.


Alright, I've canceled, on the advice of three people and my own thinking that this person wouldn't be too offended if I did cancel the order.

Thanks guys.



blue_bean
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30 Mar 2007, 7:05 am

So you met this person here. Are they AS?

Quote:
It is she who is not talking to me. About things I've done, she has indicated nothing that she didn't like.


If in the event that you did do something wrong, she could have at least been a little forgiving and continued to talk to you.
When someone stops talking to me for no reason, I tend to obsess about it until I find out why, which usually never happens :?
They never tell me why :(



hyperbolic
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01 Apr 2007, 11:58 pm

Quote:
So you met this person here. Are they AS?


I met them here and they are AS.

Quote:
If in the event that you did do something wrong, she could have at least been a little forgiving and continued to talk to you.
When someone stops talking to me for no reason, I tend to obsess about it until I find out why, which usually never happens Confused
They never tell me why


I have obsessed more than I would have liked on this, that's for sure. Although they have started chatting some again, every response is "yeah", "ok", etc. I feel like I am floating above the friendship so high I can't see the ground anymore--I don't know what substance there is to the friendship. UPDATE: I feel sorry for this person because they badly want friends, but seem to be cutting off people. I hope I am not just an isolated case, but someone else from WP I know reports the same thing about this person.



hyperbolic
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03 Apr 2007, 11:26 pm

I have decided to end all contact with this individual after they did so to me without explanation.

a) it doesn't hurt the feelings of the person this individual is and

b) it will help me restore my own emotional stability so that I can move on

Maybe the person may meets the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder.

EDIT: Strong words removed.



Last edited by hyperbolic on 04 Apr 2007, 3:40 am, edited 3 times in total.