What I don't know .

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I really don't know how to do a lot of super-obvious Internet stuff , like clicking and dragging , or getting an icon/image/whatever you call that thing to the left up . Really I don't .
I can never really get a cell phone going , on the occasions I have one , by myself .
These are things I could use HELP on !
My feet are in horrible shape , with all my walking , and I tend to have this pain/droopy feeling in my right brast , as if I'm straned . Remember my " mild heart attack " from June ?
It is sort of in my personality to " plod along " regardless and so maybe people " don't think that I am sick " .
The people here are obsessed now with trying to get me in a board-and-care home ~ Which I would not do .
That tends to be very like a group home , loony binesque confining , possibly keeping you there forever ~ with NOTHING !
If I could just , like , have a " like , staying at my Grandma's/obscure cousin " situation , to rest (with my Medical etc. I could get enough medical stuff to likely , o the medicine side , get my toes better ~ But I'd just need to stay somewhere inbetween) .

...Basically....If I could just stay soewhere and rest and stay off of my feet I could get better . if I could minimize walking and standing on the wounds on my feet . Otherwise my body will just keep going dolwnhill . And . eventually...(sob)...........If I could. justt rest so where . If a fellow Aspie would jjust help me. (SOB).........

You're being offered help to get into a board-and-care home as you describe it and are refusing. You're not going to get much sympathy from others if you're turning down help that could potentially help you heal. As the saying goes, God only helps those who are willing to help themselves.. and as another saying goes, Beggars can't be choosers. You don't have surrogate grandmother or cousin willing to take you in, so take what you can get and make the absolute most of it. IMO. Otherwise it seems as if you're merely crying wolf & don't really need the help you continuously say that you do.

...It's very vague anyway not an " offer ", and if I let myself get in , I might NEVER get out ! !! !! !! !! !!
I remember turning twenty-one in a state mental hospital , a doctor I was told saying about me " He's not good for anything else but being on the back wards for the rest of his life " , stuffed full of Thorazine & Mellaril ~ I was (in one of the two U.S. states where it is far easier to commit someone against their will legally that in the other 48) tagged " paranoid schizophrenic " (So I HATE all psychaitrists/psychologists , essentially .) ~ While you're obviously pretty hostile to me , I will say , I have thought this , for the benefit of others , that ~ maybe ~ I could bear a b-&-c if:
I had more of a money stake ~ and stuff ~ than I do now .
Some real problems of mine got some help .
I even had enough funds hidden somewhere to run away from there , if I had to , if things went unbearably wrong and I had to get away .
Maybe if I had a bit more friends/contacts .
Have you ever been in a b-&c or similar (like , an old-age home) place ever , HAVE YOU , Goldfish21 ? WELL ?????????????????????
You have not said so , so...........
Being born when I was , I didn't have the " benefit " ofpeople being a little more gentle to me because I was Aspie , or teach me to deal with it , either .
Go sit on your mommy couch and play video games or jerk off to magna , GF21 ! !! !! !! !! !!




uote="goldfish21"]You're being offered help to get into a board-and-care home as you describe it and are refusing. You're not going to get much sympathy from others if you're turning down help that could potentially help you heal. As the saying goes, God only helps those who are willing to help themselves.. and as another saying goes, Beggars can't be choosers. You don't have surrogate grandmother or cousin willing to take you in, so take what you can get and make the absolute most of it. IMO. Otherwise it seems as if you're merely crying wolf & don't really need the help you continuously say that you do.[/quote]

This terribly rude attitude is why you don't have people lining up to help you.

That's unfortunate to have turned 21 in an institution and to have overheard those things. But that was decades ago. Be present and concern yourself with the moment now, not back then or what may come.

I'm not hostile. I'm just calling it like I see it.

Why would you need funds in order to run away from somewhere? You'd simply need to be able to walk away under your own power. Or limp, as it may be. As an often homeless man, you must realize you don't need money or others' permission to walk out a door and just keep going. Be resourceful; find food, find shelter, survive as you have been.

Maybe things would be easier with more friends/contacts, yes, but you won't make them by being rude to others. Simple matter of fact. You may not even realize just how rude you come across as.

No, I have not lived in a facility like that. I've been very fortunate. I have visited seniors in old age homes, though. I've also visited people in psych wards. And I was a hair away from being homeless at one point in my life, and then spent a year and a half living in my friend's construction site of a home. I've since worked my ass off to better my health and myself and never want to end up in that position again.. but no matter what level of success I may achieve in the future, I will never ever forget where I came from & what I worked myself out of. That's a part of why I worked so hard to raise awareness and funds for homeless LGBT youth this past Summer, and why I'll be doing some further volunteer work with them.

Right, you didn't have an easy upbringing.. but now you're in the here and now with internet access and the ability to learn anything Google can bring to your screen for you. Learn whatever you want to, improve yourself, get healthier and happier to your heart's content. You can't change your past - none of us can - but you can work hard towards a better future; all of us can.

Actually, I am sitting on my mother's couch right now.. but I don't care for manga et al. Instead I've spent the last 10-15 minutes patiently giving advice to a homeless Aspie, while eating some homemade chicken soup, planning my transit commute to a job interview before work Monday morning, and texting with my deaf high school best friend to arrange to meet up with him and head to his new shop to check it out this early evening to see what contracting work I can help him out with to save time & money getting the place ready for the employees he's about to staff the place with as his business explodes. I don't sit around jerking off to strange fetishes. I have a life and goals to work towards achieving every day.

...I have recent experiences to back up my fear of " loony bin/old age home "-ish places , and to back up the possible " running away " need , and I'm in less good shape than I was then , relatively speaking .
I have had these foot wounds ~ now below my EX-big toes ~ for essentially continuously , what , eight years now ???
A b_&_c home , as described , would suck away about 90% of my SSDI , basically all I have in the world .
I have a few books/things that I sent some people ~ They're far away from me now , and no place to put them here .
I have tried to set up going back to school ~ Presumably what would be thought " a good thing "~ but someone I trusted appears to be dinging me over over an ultra-important procedural matter .
Psychs have never apologized to me for what they did to me ~ all the (Not just then) Thorazine , etcetera , all based on what my alchoholic mother said .

...That's s
I really can't do anything with my feet bad , and I HAVE SAID I could maybe ~ endure ~ a b-&-c if I had a little more means/protection/stuff (to give me more to ely on)/ability to escape , if needed .
When I've tried to get help ~ even specifically leaving out/saying " I'm not asking for..." money/material help ~ crickets have crowed .
I have , to be less " nice ' , fantasized about holding a psych/lb ward worker down and FORCING them to take three or so of their beloved Thorazine/Mellaril ~ maybe handcuffing them (with the key to the handcuffs withing reach ~ after some effort ~ to them , so they could get away) , giving a kick in the balls of knees before going away . Make sure they'd swallowed it , too !
(Yes , I acknowledge a good psych ~ maybe ~ could slip through , and some folk felt helped by Thor//Mel. ~ Me , though .)

...I should perhaps spell out , though I may have before , that the talk of a board and care home was simply vague talk , there was no offer of going any place , no proposal .
I see a thread up in " News " about places that imprision people & keep their checks ~ Couldn't that possibly happen to me ? Even " for my own good " . For an extreme example , I recall at least one case , in Sacramento , of someone running a " home for men who no one card about " (like , out of prison or a mental hospital) who killed ~ murdered ~ them , and buried their bodies , and got away with it for a while , til' she'd killed No. 10 or so . I have no real " personal " friends " of any status " , really - some homeless (-ish) light friends , yeah , but that rather floating - So maybe someone could try to do that to me .
Or , they could strch out forever my supposed " recovery " from my toe wounds so they never really heal ~ ~ Not even " consiously " so - Just be obsessed with maitenence , and " You've got to get out now and get about " and " do some chores " and my toes , then , might never heal .

Hello, ASS-P. I still get grief from other members on these forums whenever I try to ask for support about my issues.

...Huh ! !! !! !! !! !! (Listening to James Brown , too... ) I thought you'd quit here , evfen the Internet entirely...I was thinking of trying to E you , at the said addy you gave me , in case you weree still doing that...

...Recently my (cheap , ot very good to say the least) Barnes & Noble Nook that can also access the Internet got STOLEN from the shelter ~ during breakfast , when I left it , concealed inside a plastic bag but admittedly not very hidden , by my bunk when I went down to breakfast when I came back up . (I had safely left it , off to the side and in a bag as well as under an ironing board above it , further from my bunk that nite to charge and it had been okay .)
I was VERY ! disgusted about this , it was rather a last straw for me (An entirely new belt I had bought had been taken from a to-the-side clothes pile in the shelter before I could even wear it but another resident had , nicely , let me have a spare belt of his , I am wearing it now .) ~ Howevs , when I got to the computer yesterday I had an E-mail from someone who said they'd found it , listing an East Bay phone neumber to call a person - I felt better , thinking " Well , I'll get it back , tho the charger and crappy buds are probably gone " , and wrote him back ~ I started trying to set up a meeting with the person .
Howev , seeing the reply today , it seems the person sending me the E-mail was " doing it for the other person , who doesn't have Internet access " and I am beginning to feel suspicious/that I might be asked to " reward " them first .
Perhaps not so , but I have no phone , remember , and only a dollar-ish in coin now...I'll have more too-morrow , but pay phones only exist in institutions in San Francisco nowadays...

...While I more-or-less have two sets of clothes now ~ All I have to my name , remember ~ I still have just one set of shoes , and they are starting to fall apart now , with the rough treatment I give them .
My feet , well , at least for the right , " walking them into ground chuck " , at least on the below-the-cut-off-toe area , I think that's - at least sort of - valid . They leave some discharge/redness sometimes (visible in sandals) , too , I couldn't get into this computer workshop Saturday because of that .

Yeah, man. There are times when I feel like quitting these forums and others because for the most part, I've grown tired of members saying I got what I deserved over my support workers when I am hurting more than they are. Maybe they were scared at the time, but I only did all that harassment because I was so fed up of being told I wasn't going to work with them again, and they knew I was lied to, and all I did was tell a male worker that I liked Sara and with Joanna, I just asked her out. Sure, a lot happened after that, but I missed them and kind of felt empty without my beloved support workers, and all I wanted was to be appreciated.

All I did was become lonely and breached the boundaries to a small extent. Then after they were removed, their bosses told me they would have shifts with me again until I screwed up after they stalled telling me the truth.

I've been sent to jail four times mostly for just apologizing. That seemed like the right thing to do, and yet it accomplished nothing other than to lose my flat as well as my freedom.

Yeah. And I got called a sex offender and now I am on a Community Payback Order which means I will be watched closely until next autumn. I'm so sick and tired of this BS because it all seemed like it was blown out of proportion, then gradually got worse.

No wonder I feel bitter about it. How the hell will I be able to trust those kind of care workers again?

Please reply to my thread if you want to.

All this crap happened to you. I'm sorry you had to be put through the ringer.

The only solution, REALLY, is to move on. Really....it's the only solution.

I reiterate: It's the only solution.

Cut and Dried.

I think you, yourself, know that.

How can I move on? Getting another flat is impossible without a job. And it is hard to do most things alone anyway as I have issues with anxiety.

All of my rent was paid by the council in the supported accommodation. Since I don't have support at all, how do I get a similar flat? Going private isn't an option as the rent exceeds more than I would be granted and getting a flat through the council can maybe take years.

The trouble is that I no longer trust support workers, so even if I got help via a different company, I would not have the confidence to get to know the staff and bond with them, because of my defence mechanisms. Plus, nobody sticks around. I'll get to like somebody and then he will leave. Females probably would not be allowed to work with me giving what occurred with Joanna and Sara.

Sorry to take over this thread.

You have to do something to survive.

If this involves trusting support workers again, then you'll have to trust them. And it's possible to trust them. Your case is probably quite unique in lots of ways.

I think most support workers are probably very professional in their approach--primarily because they want to cover their butts. If everybody wants to cover their butt, things will go smoothly.

I've had to move on from some things in my life. Many times, that is the only way. Otherwise, you'll be stuck in a vicious cycle for a long time.