Church

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I went today for first time in 16 years. I dont know they play worship music, sing and women hold their hands up. They say raise you hands up , I don’t get that and I sat and listened, music was too loud for me. Mostly men there. Sermon was ok. End music was good. I feel odd out for not standing, singing and holding hands, but I can’t do that.

Anyone else feel like that.

It sounds like a southern baptist type of church.

I would probably feel a little uncomfortable in a place like that, but some people enjoy it.

Maybe try a Methodist or Lutheran church?

You don't have to do the same things that others are doing. I was once a doorman (Unofficial deacon) at a small church where there were usually about 20 people. I did this in my early 20's to about my early 30's. It was good for me as the church would hold about 60 to 80 and I was seated right at the back by the door. I always find I am ok if I am by the door as I don't panic so much. I relax.
Just sit and relax. Also, you don't have to go to church to have faith in Jesus. It is not compulsary. It is nice to get to meet people and maybe learn things through peoples experiences. You would be surprized what one can learn from people.

I do hope you find a comfortable place. Don't worry about what other people think. They are all probably worrying about the same thing.

I had the greatest difficulty in finding a church I could feel comfortable in. I have found one but it took a long time and every uncomfortable experience was followed by a long period of "Well I'm not going to try that again!"

Now I have found a small church that I am ok with it turns out there are several autistic people there, and statistically that is an anomaly I think. (I am not a statitician) I am not bothered with the worship and singing, what bothers me about some/most churches is the anti gay thing. I am not generally 'out' at church, but I feel extremely uncomfortable knowing people would reject me if they knew all about me. I guess that doesn't really relate to what you were saying Sly, but I can relate to the extreme discomfort. And I am a happier person inside for being a part of a church. Thats just me, I'm not saying everyone should be like that.

I don't know if my comments are in any way helpful, I just wanted to connect with you Sly.

You might be chubby.....but you’re not the other two.

I’m chubby, and not really good-looking in a “hunk” sense.....

I wear my earplugs at church. They're clear and virtually invisible. Otherwise it's often too loud for me with the singing or the unexpected piercing wail of a baby, etc. The handshakes halfway through are hard for me. I hate it. I hate shaking people's hands. Especially if, for example, the person in front of me has a raspy cough and then all I can think about is them expecting to shake their hand. I play it by ear, but often my tactic is to spend a lot of time shaking the hands of my family members and then "the ship sails" with shaking the hands of others and I just turn and give them each a smile or a wave. If they're offended, I don't really care.