Not sure where I am going

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Just a few months ago, I thought I had everything in the palm of my hand. I knew what I wanted to do, I was improving socially, and I was on top of the world.

Now, things are different. Things have been happening that have damaged my self-confidence. I am not sure if I want to do geology anymore, I haven't made any friends, the town I live in is so conservative I feel like I'm suffocating, and depression has replaced optimism.

I had a definite plan in life just a few months ago: I was going to be a geologist, live in Seattle, and once settled, have a happy relationship, and eventually a family.

And that has been shattered: An incompetent chemistry professor eroded my confidence in majoring in geology, housing prices in Seattle have skyrocketed, and the type of woman I want to be with doesn't exist. The life I dreamed of is permanently out of reach for me.

I tried to look for alternatives, but even those are unreachable.

I feel like just ending it all, and not sure if I can reclaim the life I was truly hoping for.

Tim

I hope things improve... not sure what else to say.
Maybe you need to change your standards of what you are looking for in a partner, one can idealise too much for someone who simply doesnt exist.

I have found when I move it takes about 3 years befor I have found proper friends, you won't find worthwhile frenship in a new town quickly.
College is hard going, often instructors are not very good you just have to use the library.
That true love and settling down is very likely to be elusive but don't give up.

wish you good luck and hope things get better (they usually do).

That's unfortunate. How did one chemisry professor destroy your dream of being a geologist? Even if you failed the class, you could retake it with a different professor.

Housing costs are getting ridiculous in a lot of places, but luck and persistence can pay off, especially if you're flexible about some of the details of your living situation.

I don't know the details of what you're looking for in a relationship, but chances are, there is still reason for optimism. Maybe your ideals would seem more realistic if you lived in a bigger city and/or tried to meet other people you have stuff in common with.

I can't exactly relate to what you said about your town because I feel out of place everywhere. I've lived in small towns and big cities, conservative and progressive, and I'm still an outcast where ever I go. So I try to find people who share my interests and create my own small community. Even if it only consists of a few people, that's enough to make me happy.

I hope things turn around for you somehow!

"lightning strikes in the darkest places."

Have you concidered a city other than Seattle? Portland maybe?

My perspective on life often changes, with optimism one minute and then pessimism the next, it can just take one small piece of information to turn everything around in either direction.

I always look forward to your posts on WP as usually you are the positive, happy, welcoming one and an example for me that AS isn't always 'disabling' so it is really sad for me that you are feeling like this and I want to help you if I can. I don't want this to sound like I expect you to be always happy to make others happy but so that you know that you are noticed and appreciated in this community.

I think that if you hang on through this bad time that your perspective will modify again and you will start to make new and better plans. Life is an adventure and I think people rarely take the route that they originally plan, at least not without some unforeseen hiccups on the way. I never plan more than 2 years for long term and few months for immediate situation as there are too many unpredicatables that can happen.

If I was younger, prettier, nicer and lived near you I would be ecstatic to date you!! ! You are one of the most eligible blokes on here!

A) F that professor

B) dunno what to say other than to keep persisting. my social life is pretty much WoW. some days i can convince myself that's enough

i think my concept of time is changing . i feel like im always waiting for that next phase... and when get there, i find that i still havent arrived (yet committed myself to X more years OF that phase)... but somehow they load is expected.


keep trying tim

found any aspie communities?

Only the dead know death (whether it's good, bad and/or whatever is up in the air); there's a chance that your life will improve if you continue to live.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4[/youtube]

If geology is what you enjoy...don't let anyone undermine that...do what you enjoy. If you can't live in the place that you love...make the place you are living into one that you love by surrounding yourself with those things that give you pleasure and comfort...until one day you can be where you love.

The woman? You just haven't met her yet...don't give up hope.

Sometimes we have to "re-invent" our dreams a little...and sometimes they change as life goes on, but change isn't always bad.

I totally agree with everything alexbeetle says.

If you know your professor is incompetent then his opinion is not worth a great deal. If you have no doubts that geology is for you, then stick with it, regardless. Nothing worth having comes easily, in my experience.

Don't worry about property prices yet, until you've graduated at least. There's nothing you can do about that just now. And you may have other ideas by then anyway - somewhere else may be equally appealing.

As for your social life, it does take time and effort to settle in anywhere new. I tend to move every two or three years, sometimes hundreds of miles apart, so rarely make more than acquaintances. It's hard though when you feel the lack of real, tangible friends as opposed to WPers.

Hope you can find some resolution and things feel better soon, Tim.

Aw Tim....
Please don't give up.
Seattle (Kirkland, Redmond) and Portland have high populations of aspies.

Aw Tim....
Please don't give up.
Seattle (Kirkland, Redmond) and Portland have high populations of aspies.

If he's incompetent, how did he manage that? Don't let that sort of individual impact your hopes and dreams.

If you still don't really know if geology is what you want to pursue, take some time to give it some thought. Maybe try talking to one of the career counselors or similar people at the university you are at. I can't say if that will help, I never really took advantage of that service, and it will also depend on the people you would be interacting with as to whether or not it would be of much help to you.

This is of importance, but in the future. Try not to let yourself worry about things that far down the line. At some point, yes, housing prices will be of great importance to you. Just not quite yet.


I do understand how easy that is to believe, I've believed it many times in my life. It is a difficult rut to get out of, but it is possible. While it may seem that way now, that could all change very, very quickly. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, I don't want to say how soon it could happen, since that's greatly left up to chance, or luck, or whatever you may wish to call it. It can happen, that much I was made aware of frequently. I went from feeling like it wasn't even a subject worth thinking about, that it was pointless, to realizing just how wrong I was, just how incredible another human being could be. All of my notions of what the "ideal" woman would be turned out to be quite inadequate when held up in comparison to the real deal. Far beyond any previous wishes and expectations I might have entertained.


You can, it is possible. Maybe not exactly what you were hoping for, but certainly one that can be just as rewarding, just as satisfying, if not more so. I know it isn't easy at times like these, but just keep pushing forward.

I think your problem lies in how rigidly specific your life's plans are; everything is based on the event before it, so if one thing doesn't go exactly as planned, the whole thing come crashing down. I know because I'm exactly the same (but trying to work on it).

And how exactly did this professor ruin your dream of being a geologist? You told me you were keeping a 4.0GPA, so even if the class is unpleasant, you are doing so well that you can just leave him in the dust after this semester, right? Plus, if geology is a fit, then great, but if it isn't, then let your plan adapt to your strengths and interests. I think adaptation, not rigid planning, is the way to win the day here.

While there are some species of mollusks that know more about dating then me, I feel the need to suggest that maybe you should cast a wider net, since the impression you gave me was that you're basing your future relationship on Asperger's, Liberalism, and South Park. Not all NT's are insufferable, and people with Asperger's are in the minority as it is, let alone one that will fit your criteria and will like you back. Also, why Seattle? Is it because it's a liberal place? To choose the location you will spend the rest of your life based on personal political opinions, especially if this place is expensive, seems like a recipe for discontentment. I live in a very liberal area (and I'm pretty liberal myself), and yet I get along with people equally poorly as when I'm in more conservative company.