Still so Lonely and added stress of work and threat of losin

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Deltaville
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27 Jan 2016, 1:37 am

sly279 wrote:
:roll:


?


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sly279
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27 Jan 2016, 2:16 am

Don't like being accused of lying or making stuff up.



Deltaville
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27 Jan 2016, 2:21 am

sly279 wrote:
Don't like being accused of lying or making stuff up.


I have never accused you of lying or fabricating anything. What could have brought you to determine this kind of conclusion?

If my memory serves me correctly, these were features that you thought women sought in men. Please correct me if I am wrong, however.


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27 Jan 2016, 2:30 am

Quote:
i have no clue why Sly harbours these convictions.



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27 Jan 2016, 2:33 am

Also never said women don't like wet shaving, they don't like the hobby of wet shaving, I'm sure they'd be fine all be it confused if guy just had one brush, soap and razor. Many wet shavers have many soaps, many brushes, and many razors. Just like women will have tons of shoes, makeup , or nail polish. Women told me it's odd, and wet shave forums are full of men who's wife complaint about it they have w word for SO who they have to hide it from.

I myself have a small collection of 17 soaps, 7 brushes and 2 razors.



Deltaville
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27 Jan 2016, 2:34 am

sly279 wrote:
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i have no clue why Sly harbours these convictions.


What I meant, was why you hold these beliefs.

Sorry about the misunderstanding. My writing is somewhat convoluted at times, but I never even remotely intended to accuse of lying.


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27 Jan 2016, 2:49 am

Deltaville wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Quote:
i have no clue why Sly harbours these convictions.


What I meant, was why you hold these beliefs.

Sorry about the misunderstanding. My writing is somewhat convoluted at times, but I never even remotely intended to accuse of lying.

Becaus it's what I've seen constantly and been told by women.

I check dating sites daily , I also see it on Facebook, forums, news sites and here.

The whole men make more was a staple of American culture and it's never died off.

According to most women I'm not a man.



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27 Jan 2016, 4:49 pm

I wasn't going to say anything.
I'll probably get another warning.

Sly, your constant negative posts make me feel suicidal.
If they make me feel this way, I wonder how guys in a similar situation to you feel?
When they read what you say here about minimum wage earners being worthless and not being real men?
I know you say this is what women tell you.
But can't you see how that connotation could be causing harm to others?
That they may equally feel that they have no hope?

It would be ok if this was confined to the haven where people need to vent their feelings.
But this spills over to almost every thread you post in.

It's making me want to self-harm.
Which is probably my problem, all said and done.

I hope you will understand when I tell you I can't read any more of your posts.
It's too much for me.


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27 Jan 2016, 5:46 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I wasn't going to say anything.
I'll probably get another warning.

Sly, your constant negative posts make me feel suicidal.
If they make me feel this way, I wonder how guys in a similar situation to you feel?
When they read what you say here about minimum wage earners being worthless and not being real men?
I know you say this is what women tell you.
But can't you see how that connotation could be causing harm to others?
That they may equally feel that they have no hope?

It would be ok if this was confined to the haven where people need to vent their feelings.
But this spills over to almost every thread you post in.

It's making me want to self-harm.
Which is probably my problem, all said and done.

I hope you will understand when I tell you I can't read any more of your posts.
It's too much for me.


Sorry I make you feel that way. I just need to vent it out or it build up.
Spiderpig is worst then me does he also make u feel this way?

Hugs.

It only spills over into related posts. So adult and love and dating both which has to do with relationships.



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27 Jan 2016, 6:09 pm

100000fireflies wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Would you fireflies. Date a guy working part time earning 9.50 an hour and has 20k in debt?


would I date Any guy who made that? no. but i also wouldn't date Any guy who made 200k.

would i date a guy i liked and seemed compatible with that made that? yes. and i have.

>>>>how do you find out if unlike them or their compatible without giving them a shot first?<<<<

holding hands in a park is free. watching a sunset is free. sitting on a couch cuddling and watching a movie; camping; being in the woods; building a snow fort; sitting by a fire; watching the stars; noticing the intricate, lacy details of a leaf that has composted so all that is left is the delicate vein structure; watching the birds and clouds; eating freshly picked berries in the summer and drinking hot chocolate in the winter.. these are the good things in life. and they don't cost much.
if i have a car and they don't, then i can drive. vice versa, they can drive. and if neither of us do, then we bus or don't go far.

>>>>sommany women here look down on the bus and say guys have to have a car. I've seen many women on wp say same because they aren't going be some guys taxi<<<<

i'm not going to say that all women would. some women want x, and some men want x..but not all women..nor all men want the same.

the only time that i outright wouldn't date someone because of what they made is if i felt like he was just looking for a sugar momma...i don't want to be in a relationship to just be a provider for someone..but if i'm in a relationship, not as above, and i make more, then that's fine. and if i make less, that's fine.

>>>>i don't want to but I do end up having to have people buy me food. I don't ask for it though. I simple choose not to eat out but they want to. What's the point where it'd you make more or they'll using you as a sugar momma?<<<<

when it comes to things like online dating, i may check a minimum income box...and that may throw away viable candidates. my attempt is that i don't want to find someone looking for a provider, someone who wants to just be fed and homed and sexed while i work. but in the end, with that check box, i also end up tossing out some good ones.


similarly, i'll check the college degree box - trying to find intelligent people, but there are smart people who never went to college and that box excludes them. it's trying to play the odds, but it's a no-win.

>>>>why not just meet people and give them a chance?<<<<

in person though, there are no check boxes and you meet them as-is...if they're smart, they're smart, with or without a degree. and whatever they make is whatever they make. you don't have a conversation with a wallet or degree, you have a conversation with the person.

>>>>you won't ask them about heir job and college in messages or on the date? It's usually the first then last thing women ask me :(<<<<

all that said though, my ideal guy - someone like fox mulder. he's intelligent, loyal and committed, attractive.. add in the heart of someone who would never boil a live lobster, nor hunt for "sport", and would go in a burning building to save a puppy and just for your argument, say he makes 150k/yr. if, when i first met him, he was drowning in negative and no matter what i said, it didn't help and he wouldn't take steps to get himself out, despite being my seemingly ideal guy, i couldn't be with him.

>>>>150k is a lot. I make 9,500 a year if that. Before taxes<<<<

i would relate and understand where he's at, but even though i could relate to how he was feeling, and could see there's a great guy underneath what he sees, i couldn't start a relationship with him. i know if i did, i'd start feeling depressed. i'd get emotionally invested and yet still wouldn't be able to convince him or help him see the good in life and in himself. i would end up tired and frustrated and hurt and splitting up because i couldn't do it. (If his mindset happened after being together for a while, i'd of course want and try to help and stay with him, but it would be very hard... so if not yet invested, it's a deal breaker).

so yeah, i would date someone who made that. i would (have) date(d) someone who makes a lot or someone who is on disability and makes very little. my interest in a relationship is about who they are and how they make me feel when i'm around them, not what they can buy for me.


Most women won't date someone on disability. There's no where but down. No ambition, no career ladder climbing etc. they'll make 750 a month for the rest of their life's.



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27 Jan 2016, 7:01 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
For me, relationships in my 30's were much more fun than relationships in my 20's.

How so?



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27 Jan 2016, 11:04 pm

sly279 wrote:
100000fireflies wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Would you fireflies. Date a guy working part time earning 9.50 an hour and has 20k in debt?


would I date Any guy who made that? no. but i also wouldn't date Any guy who made 200k.

would i date a guy i liked and seemed compatible with that made that? yes. and i have.

>>>>how do you find out if unlike them or their compatible without giving them a shot first?<<<<


--
I meet them. Or if online, we talk online.

That is a shot. If i meet someone and i don't like them or it's clear we're not compatible, there's no point in going on a date. If, for instance, i met someone and they were proudly wearing a swastika - as in nazi, not as in its historic meaning - i am Not going on a date with them. If they are an a$$ when we meet..if all they can talk about is how great they are and their porsche and flat OR all they can talk about is how rough life is for them because they're poor (or fill in the reason), we're not going on a date.

It goes both ways and they do the same. Everyone does. It's part of the process for being friends or partners.





holding hands in a park is free. watching a sunset is free. sitting on a couch cuddling and watching a movie; camping; being in the woods; building a snow fort; sitting by a fire; watching the stars; noticing the intricate, lacy details of a leaf that has composted so all that is left is the delicate vein structure; watching the birds and clouds; eating freshly picked berries in the summer and drinking hot chocolate in the winter.. these are the good things in life. and they don't cost much.
if i have a car and they don't, then i can drive. vice versa, they can drive. and if neither of us do, then we bus or don't go far.

>>>>sommany women here look down on the bus and say guys have to have a car. I've seen many women on wp say same because they aren't going be some guys taxi<<<<


---
Some women do. Yes. And some men do too. Does that mean all women do? Clearly not. Does it mean if you don't have a car no one will ever date you? Again, clearly not.
There is a decent amount of women that ride the bus.






i'm not going to say that all women would. some women want x, and some men want x..but not all women..nor all men want the same.

the only time that i outright wouldn't date someone because of what they made is if i felt like he was just looking for a sugar momma...i don't want to be in a relationship to just be a provider for someone..but if i'm in a relationship, not as above, and i make more, then that's fine. and if i make less, that's fine.

>>>>i don't want to but I do end up having to have people buy me food. I don't ask for it though. I simple choose not to eat out but they want to. What's the point where it'd you make more or they'll using you as a sugar momma?<<<<


---
I don't understand the question.?







when it comes to things like online dating, i may check a minimum income box...and that may throw away viable candidates. my attempt is that i don't want to find someone looking for a provider, someone who wants to just be fed and homed and sexed while i work. but in the end, with that check box, i also end up tossing out some good ones.


similarly, i'll check the college degree box - trying to find intelligent people, but there are smart people who never went to college and that box excludes them. it's trying to play the odds, but it's a no-win.

>>>>why not just meet people and give them a chance?<<<<

---
As stated, it's playing the odds. I don't have time, energy, nor patience to meet every person on the internet just to then whittle down the small percent i'm compatible with; so it's the process of trying as best as one can to initially find those that are at least partially compatible.

The point here though is that from what you say, i get the sense that you read women looking for x as - if you don't have x, a thousand women told you you're worthless. And i bring this up to say there are many reasons why someone will check a box on the internet. And just because someone or even many did, it doesn't mean that even they would Never go out with a person who doesn't fit that, nor that someone who doesn't fit that is worthless, or hopeless and will never meet someone because No one would ever be with them. I'm someone who may check that box online, but not for the reasons assumed. And yet despite the box check, in real life, those things aren't the focus or deal breakers.






in person though, there are no check boxes and you meet them as-is...if they're smart, they're smart, with or without a degree. and whatever they make is whatever they make. you don't have a conversation with a wallet or degree, you have a conversation with the person.

>>>>you won't ask them about heir job and college in messages or on the date? It's usually the first then last thing women ask me :(<<<<


--
we may talk about it. But again, if they don't have a degree, that doesn't mean they're not intelligent. I'm able to tell if they are or not regardless of degree. And what they do job wise is a 'small talk' question potentially of their interests, responsibility level, what they want to do in life, not a gauge of their income.
"I work at a gun shop. I went to school for automotive but the real shops are a lot different than school was, so..that's where i am right now. It's not my favorite, but it puts a roof over my head."
Right there i'm going to assume they believe in the right to carry arms...and i'd wonder if they hunted for "sport".. Which i'd ask. I'd also hear that they went to school for something that wasn't a good fit and they're currently at a point of trying to find a better fit. But for now, they're responsible enough to still go to work even though it's not the dream job. And i'd probably ask what they would do instead if they could.

"I work at a gun shop. I barely make minimum wage. It sucks. I couldn't afford to buy you dinner."

I again assume right to bear arms belief, wonder about hunting, and wonder - is he self-conscious about his income, or is this an eeyore red flag? So i'd reply that that's okay.. To me a date isn't about what fancy restaurant the guy takes me too.
If he is relieved and then opens up about things he likes to do that don't cost much that we could do, or things he's trying to do to work elsewhere, carry on.. If he continues with how miserable things are, eeyore alert, i'm out.

So, a lot comes from the reply of piddly questions.. None of it that influences decisions though has anything to do with wallet contents or an actual paper degree.






all that said though, my ideal guy - someone like fox mulder. he's intelligent, loyal and committed, attractive.. add in the heart of someone who would never boil a live lobster, nor hunt for "sport", and would go in a burning building to save a puppy and just for your argument, say he makes 150k/yr. if, when i first met him, he was drowning in negative and no matter what i said, it didn't help and he wouldn't take steps to get himself out, despite being my seemingly ideal guy, i couldn't be with him.

>>>>150k is a lot. I make 9,500 a year if that. Before taxes<<<<


---
I think you completely missed the point. You speak as if if it weren't for x (in this case money), everything would be so easy and dates would roll in.

My point - here is this ideal guy And, since you say money is the reason why you can't get a date, okay here's this ideal guy with lots of money. He is all that..But he also is a guy who is so locked in a negative mindset that even though he's otherwise fantastic (and has lots of money - again, you say is ultra-important) - i would not go out with him. His pervasive negative attitude and him making no active steps to change that mindset is a deal breaker.

There's more to getting a date than money, looks, smarts, etc. A guy can have all of that and yet, if when he sees a flower, all he can see or talk about are the wilting petals, not noticing the fragrance, color, live petals, or any other part if life's beauty, a lot of women wouldn't want to go out with him. Nothing about what he looks like or earns or anything else would matter at that point. His attitude about himself and outlook on life trump everything.







i would relate and understand where he's at, but even though i could relate to how he was feeling, and could see there's a great guy underneath what he sees, i couldn't start a relationship with him. i know if i did, i'd start feeling depressed. i'd get emotionally invested and yet still wouldn't be able to convince him or help him see the good in life and in himself. i would end up tired and frustrated and hurt and splitting up because i couldn't do it. (If his mindset happened after being together for a while, i'd of course want and try to help and stay with him, but it would be very hard... so if not yet invested, it's a deal breaker).

so yeah, i would date someone who made that. i would (have) date(d) someone who makes a lot or someone who is on disability and makes very little. my interest in a relationship is about who they are and how they make me feel when i'm around them, not what they can buy for me.

>>>>Most women won't date someone on disability. There's no where but down. No ambition, no career ladder climbing etc. they'll make 750 a month for the rest of their life's.<<<<<


--
1. A decent percent of people on disability are not single. So they must have been on a date.

2. That's your opinion. Just because someone is blind or can no longer dependently work doesn't automatically mean they have no ambition or value in life.
Are they going up a corporate ladder? No. So what? Going up that ladder sure as sh*t doesn't mean you're a good person, have a good heart, are intelligent, funny, interesting, passionate..all it means is you're a rat in the race. You may be all those things.. But if so, it's because of who you are, not the ladder.
And there's 'nowhere but down'? That sir, is an eeyore statement. :)


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sly279
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28 Jan 2016, 1:11 am

Women here put on their profiles don't contact if you(followed by a list) or only message me if you meet (followed by list) well paying job and car is always on the list. They'll unwilling to give anyone a chance that doesn't fit their narrow perfect description.


It may be hard to believe but o don't talk to people outside of family and on here about my life. I'm a private person. People ask how I'm doing and I say ok and smile. When I'm on a date I'm too busy talking and joking about other things.

Here it might as well . Either the women who ride the bus aren't on dating sites or they feel the right to demand from guys what they don't have.I see quite a bit of women demanding guys have stuff they don't or be in be better shape then they are. It annoys me. I'm always told I should try dating bigger women but they want thin guys.
It's mostly high school women I see riding the bus and Asians here to go to college. Maybe some of them it be adults, but as I'm unable to tell I'm not going risk flirting with s minor. And everyone has headphones in anyways.

You said you'd date a poor guy. But not a guy who wants you as a sugar momma , where the line. Like how do you know one is which?
I don't want to be seen as the latter. So I avoid women who say they travel a lot or want to travel . I'll never be able to afford that so they'd have to pay and so I just hid them. Which is quite a bit of women. I don't get the obsession with traveling. I prefer to just stay where I am.

It's not a box it's stuff they right, and 1/3 will say if you don't then your not s real man. The others if that list is what s real man is then if you don't meet it you must be worthless. You're either good enough or your nothing.
But their on a dating site because they not meeting people in rl. Most people don't any,pre, that's why most people are on dating sites. It's my only chance to meet women and most refuse to let me message them because I don't meet their demands , so what do I do?

I work at a retail store, which many around here consider stealing work from teenagers. It's a dead end job and not the my ideal, but it's all I'll ever do so I try to do my best. It's also the most hated department in the store, people ignore use and don't like giving us breaks.
Usually I'd be talking to s girl shed ask what I did and when I told her I worked seasonally for the college she'd stop talking immediately and ignore me. Got so much so I felt ashamed for working and didn't tell people I had a job, now I feel the same about this one. I tried really hard to get s better paying security job but I don't have any experience so always passed over for s veteran.

I don't talk negative with women I'm trying to date. I try to avoid telling any what I do, not just women, anyone. In the past I've spent my wholes months extra money on taking s girl on one date. I dont know how to bring up not affording do I don't. Now I'm limited to people 5 mile area. I'd say my city but they got rid of most the bus route in favor of adding more to the bigger connected city >.> unless they live off Main Street or the mall area. It'd be super hard to get to.


Well I'd be able to message tens of thousands of women I can't now, since dating is a numbers game my odds of success would skyrocket. You wouldn't know his negative mindset til you went out with him though. My problem isn't that I go on dates and they dislike my negativity it'd I don't even get to go on dates because I fail to meet their requirements. They'd probably have a good time if they went out with me and give me w chance, I have a lot in common with them like the same things and meet what they want in a guys personality, I just don't meet their must have good job, own car, and place alone requirements. And the body shape and looks I guess. Not all of them have all three things but usually have one, they have the job,car, place/ life together which men's same thing, must be good looking and fit, or want a country boy. It's so hard to find anyone who doesn't have a reason to disallow me from contacting them. Some even flat out say they require s big penis.

1. Most were dating or married before going on disability I see this a lot. Some guy gets injured and his wife sticks around. They already built s strong connection. I'm more concerned with people who don't want to build a connect with disabiled person. I'd probably had easier time finding girl if I had had s good paying job then later after meeting got disabled.

I've seen too many "should I leave my bf he lacks ambition, he doesn't try to get promoted" it scares me. I don't have work related ambition. I don't care for money or worth. I'm a simpler person I just want to enjoy life then constantly working for that next promotion or trying to find s better paying job.

Its a realistic statement. There's guys in their 40-70s working at my place. I've seen people who spent 40 years working min wage.
I don't have experience to do anything else and if no one will hire me I'll never get the experience. I can't even transfer departments in the same store. I thought I'd stay here and try to get to s department I have more knowledge and passion in but nope. It's a catch 22 , everyone wants someone with experience but won't let anyone get experience. I can't ever go back to college, so i dont know where else to go. I'm extremely grateful and lucky to have got this job. I have been looking for 2-3 years.

Will a woman date s guy who's going be a min wage part time retail employee for the rest of his life? I can't handle full time . Part time exhausts me and leaves me no time to do anything else, I don't even know when I'd see s gf unless we loved together or near by. I spend 4 hours a day on bus, 30 mins waiting to start work, 4-7 hours working. 2 hours getting ready for work and 6-8 hours sleeping. Leaves me 4 hours to eat and get ready for bed.

Would you be willing to help me write s craigslist post? I'd be compete ting with 10-50 other guys a day so it's got to be good and I suck at it.



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28 Jan 2016, 1:12 am

Half of the guys just seem to want sex, but then again half of the 2-5 women posting a day just want to have an affair.



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28 Jan 2016, 3:14 am

I'm going to bed soon. I'll try to reply more tomorrow.

In the meantime though, for your last question, one thing i'd ask, so maybe think about is - what are you passionate about? What do you care about? What do you really enjoy doing? If you could have any job, what would it be? If you had a pile of money and didn't have to work, what would you do? Why are you looking for a girlfriend? What qualities do you look for? -- that is, the reverse of she won't like me because...but why would you want to go out with her? Why wouldn't you want to go out with her? What are your deal breakers (girls with dogs?)?
Stuff like that. That was way more than one question :) ..but just stuff to think about. I've read posts of not liking your job and such, but i haven't seen one of what you would want to do or enjoy or things that make you happy or excited..and posts of why "she" wouldn't like you, but i haven't seen what you would like in her..so i honestly have no idea about any of these things.


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28 Jan 2016, 4:16 am

Guns, video games, wet shaving, history, I like camping somewhat.
I like cats and foxes, but I respect all animals. My family has dogs but I don't prefer dogs.

I enjoy wet shaving, playing video games, shooting and cleaning my guns.

If I won the lottery I'd open a wet shave shop and a fun store. I like helping people and I'm passionate about those things.

To have someone to cuddle with, do things together with, to make them happy, companionship basically
Someone who's nice, playful, silly,fun to be around , likes some of or most of the things I do. Enjoys cuddling and hugging a lot as I do.

Mean girls. Girls with dogs, anti gun, liberal, conservative I'd prefer someone in the middle like me., no reptiles or creepy crawlers , not s big fan of tattoos or piercings, hopefully she don't like heavy metal.