Rants

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There's so much hate around it clings to me like smoke - it's not mine and I'm not its target but I can't get rid of it. Others keep pushing and pushing the gangrene in their hearts on me and I feel I can't breathe any more

I'm still losing my mind over what happened today and getting my windshield chipped by some ass who decided to cut around half a dozen cars and cause damage to my windshield! I'm hoping the chips will be fixable but one was bad enough to cause a tiny crack bit further down so even if it's repaired, some signs of damage will still be there.

I'm also pissed that everytime I check the internet to see what the weather will be like in my area THEY NEVER GET IT RIGHT. Today they said it was supposed to be raining and storming like crazy between 2-5pm today. 2pm comes around and it's sunny out. It got dark for a little bit and a slight drizzle started when I arrived in one store but as soon as I was done about 15 mins later, I come out and it's bright and sunny again. Still is. I would go out if not for the chipped windshield!

I always thought that people were over-exaggerating about Indiana weather, but now I know they aren't kidding. I have this uncontrollable urge to go out when it's sunny and when the weather changes during the day, it messes me up along with my daily plans. If I had known it wasn't gonna rain at all around 2, I could've rearranged my plans to avoid that stupid chipping windshield incident!! !! !

No matter how friendly I become with people I still feel detached and isolated from this world, from its dwellers, even those with AS. I said in another post, I think yesterday, that I was to AS what people with AS were to NTs, and I think that fits me best at the moment.

If anyone feels similar I'd love to hear you.

$employer is getting rid of my best/only friend in this country. It makes sense from a business standpoint as he has failed to reach the goals. But from an emotional standpint this is devastating for me. To make things worse, while we're at it, I have been moved to a different position, supposedly a better one but it drives me insane... even more than usual.

I don't think the instructors in my online courses bothered to learn to use the software.

Their bosses: YOU HAVE TO TEACH AN ONLINE COURSE
My instructors: UH, OK (dammit, more work for the same pay)
Us, the students: WTH?

I can't do it for two more years. I just can't. I'm scared to be at home anymore. They're either gonna kill me or throw me out any day now. I'm praying for the latter.

I am convinced both of my parents are dead. I miss them.

I feel frustrated. I came to WP because I am so rubbish with people in real life and always feel like a square peg in a round hole and what do I find........it's just the same here. I'm not even doing a very good job of ranting here. Anyway that's all.

Thankyou LostInEmulation for the hugs, (I'm ok with virtual ones ) I needed that. I guess I am just a bit fed up of seeing cliques wherever I turn. That's human nature I suppose.

I am sorry aswell you are having a hard time at work. Life feels rubbish sometimes.

I send hugs to anyone else who is feeling a bit lousy.

arrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh

double arrrggggghhhhhhhh

now my friend says he got an email an hour ago from a competition saying if he was in a certain place by 20.00 he'd get a free beyonce album and entry into the gig shes doing tonight. but its an hour away from my house and im not even dressed so theres no way i could make it. so pissed off

this day sucking f*cks

FB friends with someone I graduated with in '75. Her sister in law had a puzzling post about her grandson dying, along with a request to keep hateful remarks regarding the situation away from her. I went "hmm, what's going on?" Googled the child's name, came up with several things, several were news reports of the dead grandchild's mother and father in jail charged with murder. 21 month old, head injuries, mother quoted as having lost control over the kids behavior and might have hurt him, the father charged because he knew abuse had been going on and did nothing.
Disturbing enough, right, also found the grandfather of the child with a site begging for money to help pay for the funeral, found posts about how they got enough to pay for funeral, now wanted money for headstone, posts on facebook mention people helping them out with funeral and other expenses. So, the public is being asked for money to help with "expenses" in addition to funeral/headstone. How nervy, a child lived 21 months of being abused, the husband knew, I can't believe other family didn't know, for pete's sake, the murdering mother went right ahead and said to police she was uncontrollable, enraged, the child was defiant. Now no one can tell me that if a woman will say that to police that she didn't express these thoughts to her own parents (who didn't live that far), and now these parents are getting money and sympathy from people. I hope they all land in jail, I hope the grandparents get thrown in jail for getting money under false pretense/don't keep proper accounting etc. I hope they get charged with being accessories.

And as far as money goes, let them sell off their property, have garage sales, sell the murdering parent's vehicles, and if they need a ride, let the ignorant grandparents who turned a blind eye drive their sorry asses around.

The kicker was these grandparents are posting on a joke thread about caskets, two weeks after burying their grandchild that was murdered by their daughter, jokes about caskets.
'

So, uh, why am I so goddamn easily used?

Basically, I am absolutely useless with best friends, because the first real one I had in recent years decided after a while that he was going to stop ringing me or texting me unless he either wanted to sell me something or he wanted to lend money. Because of how nice I am, he now owes me £40 through all the money I've lent him. He then decided to try and come between me and the thing that matters the most in my life - guitar. Instead of a Sonisphere ticket, I bought an Ibanez Jem555 for £750. An Xbox Live message appeared: "steve vai sucks cant believe u chose a silly guitar over iron maiden u p**sy". That made me really mad. Next thing I knew, he was ringing me up, laughing at me and I decided it was time he knew where he stood: I told him I care about guitar more than anything else in the world, then he just decided he wasn't my friend anymore, and we shouldn't contact eachother again, two days later he came grovelling to my door, begging me to accept him as a best friend again... I stupidly agreed.

The next one happened just recently, I started hanging out with this guy who I thought was awesome, but people were subtly hinting at me that he's an absolute t***er, I know now that I should've listened.
Next thing I knew, I was without money for an easy two months, I was being a d*ck with my parents, and I was never in my house.
This was because he had me going with him everywhere he went. And I mean EVERYWHERE.
Next thing I knew, he lost his job, and decided he was going to sell something for money. There was a guitar that had been donated to our local jam night by the pub's landlord, and this guy got it into his head that it was mine, so he convinced me that it was mine, the next day we went into said pub, got the guitar and sold it to the pawnbroker across the road. Now, he obviously needed someone else to take the responsibility so who did he decide to bring along for the ride? Lil' ol' ME of course, and therefore you'll never guess who the FIRST person he blamed for all this was... ME!! !! !! !
Anyway he's barred for life from that pub now, and will never go back in until it changes hands, which doesn't look likely to happen.

This type of stuff just leads me to hate people a lot of the time.

This isn't a big rant but I saw Watchmen on DVD in the shop the other day which is like one of my favourite movies I don't even own, but I didn't get it! Why?!

eugh, what's the point right?

Reading History and Government fills me with rage and despair in turns. I have to stop raging at everything.