Rants

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I spend so much time learning something and loving it, then I am taught about how the sun is made out of helium and hydrogen. Wtf? Where the f did that come from? Doesn't that break the law of conversation of mass? Mass can not be created nor destroyed in a chemical reaction? The whatever everything completely breaks that law. This angers me to the fullest. Seems like laws shouldn't be followed because they are BS. But who knows ill probably find something else out that debunks that law, then ill have to start all over again.

There are seriously times when I hate what I have learned from school. I sometimes wish I never learned some of the stuff I have learned. I hate knowing certain stuff. I hate some people I have met. There are sometimes when I wish I was a naive person and lived my life happily. But then if I went that route I would be humiliated without knowing it. Its haunting. f**k this woooorrrlllldddd.

Needed a place to rant and I found this topic.

I have a small circle of online friends that I have been hanging with for over 4 years. One of them last night posted a video and in the video was a picture from my online photos on flickr. While the video was good, I did not want my picture used. It took me a lot to contact the girl and ask her nicely to edit or remove the video. I don't like confrontation and I was shaking while I typed. The video owner was online and replied immediately and nicely removed it.

I commented to my group of friends (who don't know I may have Asperger's) about what I did and that it was awkward for me to do so and that I was sorry no one else would be able to view it and then I went to bed.

This morning there are comments about the whole thing with people being disappointed about not being able to see the video along with frowning faces and the girl who posted the video to the group inquired why I bothered since it was a good video and it was made two years ago. She also said that if you post something online that anyone can use it. Other people wrote that I should be flattered and that anyone could use their photos.

Their comments made me feel like I did something wrong. So I wrote back and explained that there is this thing called a copyright and I have the right to choose how my stuff is used.

The girl who posted the video explained further that she was sorry she had a part in the removal of the video. That she felt the benefit of the video was more important.

I felt like I was being disrespected by her, (Sit down, shut up, and take it.) that she would prefer I didn't know someone had used my photo so that the video could still exist. I have asked her if it had been a professional in the group whose pic was used if she would feel the same and then posted the link to the transcript of the video and announced that "All benefits have been restored to the world." I probably will leave it at that.

The whole thing made me cry and basically ruined my whole day. I wanted to just leave the group, but I have so few friends so I stood my ground and articulated my feelings and despite the shaking and wanting to puke I made it through. This is going to be with me all night though.

Accidentally banged my head on a door.

Grrr I don't want to go on this long, long, long journey to France tomorrow! Why couldn't we have taken a plane?! That would have taken about 3 hours. We're going on a ferry overnight which including the car driving will take over 13 hours! I won't be able to sleep so I'll be extremely cranky

=( Having one of those weird days.

Was very excited about attending an event, got there and started to have panic attacks because of all the people and the noise. Had to run out before it started, wishing I had stayed.

Wish this would stop happening.

Do you uk people ever just want to visit the US? or is this like an awesome vacation spot people talk about. Like I can't wait to visit washington dc or I can't wait to visit los angeles?

I HATE the service bells we have at work! People press that damn thing like 10 times as if they are little children! They wonder why I'm so angry when I finally get to them if they only knew I about have dreams about hearing that exact same sound in succession over and over and over again in my sleep! GAHHHHHHHH!! !

delete.

My roommate turns the heater on. In the summer.

I studied for years, abandoning at least 60-85 percent of my life for the past 4 years just to get out of all contracts and be free from random interruption, because if I don't want to talk, I dont want to talk, FOR ANY REASON (traffic ticket, nada). and I cant free myself from people always wanting to relate with me, always needing to talk and hear from me, let alone the government. I just want to be left alone until I CHOOSE to talk with another. it's almost ALWAYS someone coming into my zone, and I hate it. I know in my heart (through God) about compassion, but I need alone time to cool down, recharge, take care of my self in the simplest of ways before I respond to another. if I choose not to respond, I"m labeled as mean, unloving, and I dont want anyone to be hurt, but they are hurting ME and I dont want to get MAD. I guess I need a vacation, it's been too long. lol

_________________
Turn away from all the things of men- Turn away from the old deeds of sin- Turn away (,follow me,) ta never feed what's been- Turn away -- Jesus
the five senses are overrated
So, what is this relating thing you speak of?