he still won't leave it alone.

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Yes, yes, it is.

Don't bottle it up. You'll only explode down the road.

i'm just sick of crying.
i hate to cry.

and everything hurts.

what am i supposed to do to make any of this better?

For the extraction of emotional pain usually requires someone to listen to your problems. Thats why councillors are good, you scream, cry and hurt and you can feel the pain coming out. You feel a little better.

I'm sorry, but have you talked to Stefan yet? If you haven't, there's your answer.

I really hope they catch chris, He raped you and he killed a cat to get your attention, that should be enough to put him behind bars for a few years.

i know it's going around in circles and i'm f*****g hopeless to help but - what if he rejects me when he knows all the stuff i think in my head about this?
he'll think i'm pathetic and crazy and he'll go and find a normal girl.

No, he'll want to try and help you. He'll want to comfort you. He loves you as much as you love him.

I trust you, you know.
But, if you're wrong and he leaves me I don't know what i'll do.

I can't just do nothing anymore.
Okay.

If I'm wrong I don't know what I'll do.

But I have very, very high doubts that he will. He truly loves you.

Only a jerk would leave you because of this.
If he's not a jerk he wont leave you.

Just from what you've posted about him it's obvious he loves you. Don't worry about him leaving you. Just focus on yourself right now , you owe yourself that

Constant whining is a turn-off.

Boo, get out.

emlion, he wouldn't. As I said and as he's probably said many times, he loves you. He wouldn't leave you. He would want you to tell him.

BS

Yes constant whining is a turn off when all someone ever does is whine, or when they're whining about really pathetic things

"Whining" about being raped/beaten/abused/stalked is entirely different, especially when the person you're "whining" to is your bf

Talk to him

Why would he leave you for being hurt?