Aspie adults: how happy are you over-all?

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That is a good attitude to have. I like it.

It makes me sad reading comments like this, because my mother was never happy on this plaent when I live, it wasn't until after she died I realized she never understood self and my journey of trying to understand her lead me to discover self and while it wasn't easy when I first discovered as its a process, and now I so believe if we can fully understand, accept and allow self we can be fulfilled in life, I guess what I want to say is my life up until recently was a lot like those quotes, but stay strong because truly their is so much hope if I can work things out with all me many complexities some may say I have many disabilities the ones I know of sensory, neurological, mental, intellectual learning... but I am extremelly capable, my only problem at times society it self.. helping to change that - attitudes

Thanks for the encouragement to hold on and to keep going.

I don't know what else to say; that is the "recurrent theme" for decades and decades of my life.

Not entirely sure of the why behind it. But, a factor is likely that what my life is is in such opposition to what I was taught life would be - school, university, a career, a house with a mortgage, and 2.5 children.

(.5, point five, children?)

That is how I now see myself - my health, physical and mental, has stopped my efforts to do what I was taught was "successful life".

I tend to see myself as ".5" of a person.

Maybe it actually a sign of self-centeredness, but I keep wondering what do I contribute to life on this planet

Well, actually, honestly, there are things I contribute - thye are just so different from that image of "success" drilled into me in youngest years.
I love and support and help my wife who is in bad health.
But I have also hurt her deeply.
And she has also hurt me deeply.
Maybe that is normal lifewith imperfect humanity.

For many years have helped firends and acquaintences with hobby questions.
But that seems so trivial.

Have developed a friendship with a guy who recently opened a small shop in our town of 8700. He has said he appreciates me occasionally coming in and spending time with him on slow days.
Mike is turning out to be a really interesting fellow to know.
But compared to finding a cure for cancer, that seems so insignificant.
But to him it is quite important and he has said so.

And there is this little furry fellow in the avatar who almos died in great pain and dirty and alone but now leads a full life even though he himself is disabled with both body and brain damage.
Hey, just like me
He was given to me at a very difficult and low point in my life this time last year.
So, I am important to that small life.
And that small life is important to me.
Fairness at its best - we are of equal importance to each other.

So, perhaps my importance in life is not to society as a whole, but at a specific point in time that one day, to this person today, to that person tomorrow.
And even to that small animal's life.

I think what may drive the unsettled sense I have of happiness in life is this contrast between the view of success I grew up with and the actual small, yet significant small and personal "successes" in bringing positive things to individual lives at small moments.

It is taught that one's satisfaction with life comes from inside yourself and is projected outward instead of being put into you from outside.
Maybe true.

But I need to know that I matter to someone somewhere; that I have a purpose beyond merely existing.

Am I wanted?

(and not wanted by the law- I've had that and it's not "personally fulfilling")

But, yeah, am I wanted by some living being somewhere?
Does it desire my presence and input?
Does it matter to that being where I am, what I'm doing, how I am

Does it love me?

The more I believe in what I do the more difference I seem to make, its only when I compromise to please others the darkness surrounds... is not everyone on a journey questioning in a way, life is a process and guess we have to find what works for us not always everyone else... my relationship improved so much with my own family since I allowed and could explain reason to my whys...

Another WP individual posted this on facebook today and have added here as feel these words may help you in your own search - Nelson Mandela's speech by Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about people shrinking so people won't feel insecure around you. We are ALL meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

I'm in nearly the same predicament as you are in regards to enjoying life. I've been on antidepressents and other medications for about 12 years now and haven't seen any significant improvement.

If a person's physical health is a mess, how often does the interfere with, or outright override an otherwise inherently positive outlook?

There also currently is a good bit of stress in life.

I wonder if that is what is taking place with me right now?


One day waaaaaaaaay back in 7th Grade the science teacher saw me outside and asked "What happened to that happy go lucky person you were?"

What, so significant would have taken place and even now not been overcome?

And why is that memory so vivid 32 years later?

And I look at my own signature line and wonder - right now that inner guidance is uncertain reserved, and hesitant.

I put 1 as I have been worse than I am.
My adult life has been a shambles. I have clinical depression severe OCD and panic disorder. I was agoraphobic for a time. I had anorexia for a decade. I have not been able to work, I have no social life, and no amount of telling myself to get off my backside and do something productive, like write a book, seems to help.

My comments have probably been as much the "how happy you are with your life" which is not the goal here as they have been toward the "over time".

It is so easy to get caught up in the immediate and lose track of long term trends.

The mind kind of wants to make everything happy/sad about what, instead of simply observing how it is being.

Over time it is probably 1/3 happy, 2/3 sad.

What keeps me going is the belief that science and technology will eventually make my life better. I gauge my own happiness by imagining my reaction to the hypothetical news that a meteor is about to strike earth and kill everybody next week. A few years ago I would have been relieved. I did not feel like killing myself, but life felt stressful and little rewarding, something to fight against. The meteor would have meant the fight was finally over. Today I would be shocked. Everything will end? Not now! There is so much progress on all fronts, we finally start to understand what is going on in the brain of people like me! Whether there will be drugs that alter the brain, gadgets that filter reality, or psychological methods to connect to other people emotionally: it is worthwhile to stick around just to see what the future has in store for us.

As for you, MissMax, it is true that supernatural beings and such do not exist, but they don't have to. There are many others interested in such things, and this interest is real enough. There should be many opportunities for someone with as fine a writing style as yours to provide something of value to them. Not all of these opportunities require creativity. I don't buy your self-assessment of not being creative enough anyway; if you really were lacking in that regard, how could you have entertained yourself with fantasies and daydreaming all the time?