more hassles with my neighbour!!

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maybe maybe not who knows he is pretty good at putting on a front

I am just feeling so sensitive and paranoid right now because of all of this. My car is usually parked in the driveway but not behind a gate or anything. Anyway this morning I was going to take a friend home and the car felt totally wrong. I got out and one of my tyres was totally flat, a nice guy changed it for me. I took it to the tyre place and they could find no puncture they strongly suspect someone let it down deliberately it couldnt be fixed because I had driven on it even a short distance. There is also a leak coming out of the car and the steering feels a more tighter than normal I am hoping the leak is just water from the air con though I have put a tub underneath to catch it and see (I hope that is all it is). I beleive Michael was involved it seems too coincidental otherwise as my car has been parked there 2.5 years no problem. However I think that going to the polcie could make the situation worse dor two reasons 1. that he will get more angry and try something worse or 2. he will deny any knowledge and try and make me look bad and get me in trouble (the more likely). I am sooo upset because mum just doesnt understand me I go to her for emotional support and all I get is rejection and abuse. It is possible it was just some idiot in the street and if that was the case it wasn't such a big deal although still upsetting but I have no idea I feel frightened and upset.

Maybe that's why you're so insecure, and ended up friends with someone as unsavoury as Michael. If you were raised by someone who gives you abuse and rejection, and this is the person you rely on for emotional support?

You can't go to the police anyhow, as you have no proof, and they won't do anything. The only thing you can do is either let it slide, or invest in a GOOD multiple camera(wide view and some focused to catch faces) CCTV system with excellent night shots. If you go this route, don't bother with the cheaper end, as you don't end up with anything but fuzzy blobs at night(when 95% of anything that happens usually happens), and can't get any id, and just get frustrated.

What you say is absolutely true and what my mum says is also true that I am likely to find another Michael somewhere else I hope not though. At the moment with everything that has gone on I feel insecure and frightened I hope it all blows over in time. My mum will never understand me and I wish I could and would stop going to her for emotional support it doesn't work all that happens is I get really really upset.

Had the tyre been the only thing that had happened since I moved here I would have felt differently but is isn't. With everything else going on it is hardly surprising that I feel uncomfortable and insecure. Since I have moved here there has been.

*all the stuff with michael, Mary-Ann and James and Jane
*eggs thrown at my window
*an egg put in my letterbox
*an egg thrown at my car
*an attempted break in (not sure if it was before or after I moved in)
*my tyre let down
*a leak in my car (not sure if is connected or important)

most of that stuff is fairly minor and as I said had all the other things not gone on it would be different. I don't think Michael was involved in most of the highlighted things but the tyre it seems too coincidental.

This might sound radical, but please bear in mind that I am so totally not a bible basher. In fact, it's a standing joke with my friends how much trouble I have with the church. I know that it's because my mother used religion to control me, and that's why, and that religion isn't bad in itself. I'm just a bit allergic to it because my mother used it against me. But as a thinking person, it doesn't prevent me from seeing the good bits in it.

So anyhow, would you consider going to a community project type place, or church, to find someone who will talk to you, who is willing to spare you some time, and help you with the emotional support issues? It won't be as familiar and comfy as doing it with your mother, but you know that there is a downside to doing it with your mother, so it would be nice to have something else to support you, even if it's a different size, shape and flavour. Better than nowt (nothing), as we say here in England.

I feel kind of jealous and upset because it is obvious that Michael has definitely got James and Jane "on side" I just saw him go over there. Even though they may not be talking about me I still feel like the outer now as per usual the rejected one.

I understand about jealousy, but my friend has taught me to think about reality. And the reality is actually pity you should feel for them.

You are free. Alone, but free to find new friends, with the promise of better things.
James and Jane are still blind, unable to see Michael for what he is, and still stuck in that horrible cycle that you know only too well.

What have they got to look forward to? Sitting there with him, b*tching about someone, not talking about anything particularly pleasant, and then at some point in the future, bearing the brunt of his bullying just because he feels crummy and needs someone to take it out on. There is little to envy there, if you really look at the relationship.

It's precisely because they have so little going for them that they need to find a scapegoat, someone to rubbish. It's pure distraction, so they don't have to look at THEMSELVES, whom they don't like very much. So it's very important to them that they present a front, and it's a pure pose, telling everyone that THEY're the posse to belong to. Notice that they talk a lot about who is IN, and who is OUT.

And why is it important that OTHER people want to be with them? Because they don't really like themselves, so they look to other people to supply the wanting to be with them.

I am staying out of it now haven't seen michael (other than very briefly) since the whole thing blew up. I do not trust James and Jane or Michael I cannot say anything to James and Jane otherwise it gets back to Michael. Michael is over at JJ place right now and I obviously can't do anything about it other than to stay out of all of their ways if Jj are too stupid or ignorant to know what he is really like then that isn't my problem although I find it upsetting. I have done some stupid things but i am not the "bag guy" in this even if I am made out to be so.

Caster, you are spending way too much of your time thinking about these people. Thinking and obsessing about them is not doing you any good and is keeping the fire fueled in your mind. I know it's hard to stop thinking about it, but you have to find a way. If you like to read get yourself really involved in a series of books. Or get yourself involved in a favorite hobby or spend a lot of time trying to do something you've always been interested in. Don't talk to any of these people and certainly don't do anything in retaliation. In the future when someone asks you to do something think to yourself "would I like it if someone did this to me?" That alone will keep you out of a lot of trouble.

I have had tires go flat for no apparent reason and if it was your neighbor doing it as some form of revenge they would have done it to more than one tire. Considering the time of year it is down there the leak from your car is probably from the air conditioner.

Yeah maybe I am but thing is I have to live near them I don't like being made out to be a liar or the badguy I know what happened and I have admitted my part in it. Given Michael's track record I do have my suspicions but yeah it could have been somethign else too. I cant judge character and how far or not far to get involved but I have realised that bad things happen if you hang around bad people.

Update: 18/10/10. I really seriously thought it was over and done with that things were OK that was until yesterday. I had an interview with my job agency (they help me if there are any issues at work) and they told me someone (who said they were my neighbour) had called up my work saying that I was stealing stuff from them. I was obviously upset by this as it is completely false and they were obviously trying to get me sacked or at least ruin my reputation. I only found out yesterday from the agency but the call was apparently made to work around about 6 weeks ago this was the time all the stuff happened with Maria. I confronted Michael yesterday and he put on this act saying oh "I have done nothing, what have I ever done? I am trying to lead a quiet life" all this BS. I am 99% certain it was him all the evidence points to him and he has an agenda. The only other "suspect" is James and I don't think it was him yes he is a gossip and yes you have to be careful what you say to him but he isn't malicious also he has no reason to do it. I spoke to my boss and she said she never believed it and knew it to be false and for that I am glad but I was obviously very upset about that upset that someone would do that even if I had been stealing you just don't do that it is disloyal and wrong.

it isnt my neighbours business to dob me in even if it was true.

Another update on this whole mess and looking for advice.If I had my time over being aspie and likely to give away too much information I would not have got to know my neighbours at all other than to say hello that way as my friend with an autistic daughter says you can't give away too much information, can't get involved in anything nasty and life is more peaceful but if it is an emergency you do have someone to call on. Anyway James and Michael have taken to staring at my friend (who now lives here) and I daily for the last 6 months everytime we reverse our cars or come outside (I currently have no front fence but are looking to get one). This was exacerbated by my friend running into someone's car at one of James parties as well as all the BS Michael has been feeding him about me. I was advised by family to talk to James wife Jane in a nice way as I did today and asking her to please help calm the situation. However that did not work all she did was say it wasn't her problem and went and got James who basically flat out denied it and said words to the effect of "you deserve it given everything that has happened you brought it on yourself". We might be aspie but we aren't stupid there are two of us and also mail was going missing so I had to get a PO box, my tyre got let down things like that. Michael once said to me "I do things so it looks like it is kids and so it is tough to prove" that is exactly what is going on here. I am sorry I got involved, I aM SORRY for what happened with Tina and Chloe is sorry she ran into someone but all that aside we deserve to live in peace and not be harassed, have mail stolen etc. I am basically looking for advice. Also just to add a bit after all this happened I went out to put something in the bin James was there staring I pretended I didn't see him and went inside. Then a bit later I went out the car and James agressively said "yeah I am moving my car so you and your f*****g stupid mate don't run into it" I replied yelling "what we do with our cars is our business just leave us alone" and he then called me a "f*****g loser". I know I shouldn't have reacted to him in the first place but it is tough not to. I just wish my parents hadn't tried to encourage me to get to know my neighbours or organised my housewarming party mum has always tried that to "matchmake" friends but all it does is make it worse I would rather have no friends than what happens in that case.