What is keeping you up at night?

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I keep thinking about my daughter who I have never seen.

back pain.
neuropathy in the extremities.

That happens to me some nights too. Curse you Wikipedia and your knowledgly goodness.

It's all on paper so far, still in a writing phase. I have a lot of melodies and stuff down, but haven't gotten around to recording them. Either way I don't have dependable recording equipment (not even a microphone).

Sorry.

Regrets. Regrets that I haven't changed, sooner. Regrets of being a real rebel.

I've always had trouble sleeping. When I was an infant I slept for a maximum of two hours each night. And ever since that time, I've been a shadowchild of the night. My mind is on fire at night. Creativity level smashes through the top barrier. I don't know why, but that's the way it is. Because of this, I love being awake at night. Also, it's dark and no traffic sounds outside.

I've been thinking about it. It may be slight executive function disability and diminished perceptual processing collaborating. Nevertheless, I like the creativity flow. But I'd much rather have a "normal" rhythm, and the creativity flow. I think it's adjustable, time will tell. But for now, I'm still one with the night.

Hemingway couldn't have written that better.

night terrors, art, insomnia, anxiety, sleep paralysis, and pain

resentments and the internet.

Insomnia.

I don't know where it fits.. or how to talk about it. And it keeps coming up. Either people accuse me of 'holding something back', or they 'find' or I end up leaving something out in the open and they notice something I have written, before I destroy it and they call me paranoid. But, I can never defend my self from those that say it, because I don't know. Or I want to share it. or they want to understand me. but I worry, others will.. not understand and either end up pitying me, or being afraid.

It came up again while I was working on getting some documents I needed.. the last one arrived.. and .. it does not fit what I was told or what I read years ago in another very blanked out document..

So I start looking and searching into information, I would rather just leave behind.. but, also, I can't leave my brain or who I am behind.. so no matter what, I am stuck with it.. and I can't sleep..




I wonder if some areas ever had innocence and I also believe, innocence can be a more personal thing, not just 'global'.. if that makes sense
sometimes not sure I was born with it, but developed it as I got older, with some things anyway..



Complications I have enough of, but I may need to borrow your other reason..




Agree with that.. some what.

OT - there is a pretty cool site for doing music on.. I might still have the link.. if your interested in it



That can be dangerous for the other person though...