distressed and angry about bad aspie relationship

Post Reply New Topic

UR A LIAR

so come back and we can have sex and you will feel better

you didnt need to make this thread, I told you I would not come on here again, I told you I would stop seeing any joint friends. I promiced to try harder not to text you. I will just try harder and give you your peace you want.

I never asked you to stop coming here or seeing joint friends. I said it distressed me to see you spending hours reading the same threads about prostitutes over and over and then obsessively talking about them over and over in an angry way, saying to me "explain to me how they can pay for sex, explain to me". like with the essays and seeing your mum the answer was not to stop them, the answer was to stop being horrible to me when they were dificult. i know im very wimpy tho and should have been stronger in shouting you down when you were nasty instead of just leaving peacefully to rage later.

I didnt say you asked me not to come here, or see friends, but it makes it harder for you to have a 'new peaceful life' if Im still in it in the edges seeing your freinds and making posts that your freinds can see.

as I said I will try harder not to text you.

Enjoy your new free happy life.

im not enjoying im very unhappy it but i beleieve it is the only way. i do not know if you were interested but in the past i was in A&E with a cut hand and had a breakdown and headbutted the wall. i was obviously not coping with dating someone and you dont even care, you just say come back it doesnt matter. i am now pasting something i found online

The Art of Sulking
May 3rd, 2010 by Morag
comments 1 comment

The object of sulking is to subtly bully your opponent into submission using only emotional blackmail. Therefore, careful consideration should be given as to your choice of opponent.
i

The object of the game is to subtly bully your opponent into submission using only emotional blackmail. Therefore, careful consideration should be given as to your choice of opponent. Avoid independent types, quarrelsome types, people who don't care if you are miserable, people who will take great delight in that fact that you are miserable, anyone likely to beat the crap out of you and never choose an opponent that is too stupid to even realize that you are sulking.

Ideal opponents are those with guilt complexes, subservient types, eager to please types, those that have even less self esteem than yourself or the 'anything to keep the peace' types.

To Start Play:

The sulker has to feel some sort of slight or grievance, whether real or imaginary, it doesn't really matter, as for the most part of the game your opponent will have no idea what it is you are sulking about. Imagined grievances make it much harder for your opponent to solve and thus the game can last over a period of days or even weeks depending on how sad you really want to be.

Having decided upon your chosen grievance your opening gambit should be 'the going suddenly quiet' ploy. More experienced players will often combine this with a pouty face. It is important to keep this going until your opponent asks something along the lines of, “What's up?” What's the matter?” Is everything okay?” etc.

You must be able to force this kind of concerned enquiry from your opponent to be able to continue play. Once your opponent has shown concern then it's game on.

The sulker then replies with a phrase such as, “I'm alright.” “I'm fine.” “Nothing.” etc.

To leave your opponent in no doubt that you have started the game, the more experienced sulker will often say, “There's nothing wrong with ME!” This is a clever use of the 'turn the tables' ploy and the emphasis on the 'ME' lures your opponent into believing that they are responsible for starting the game.

Your opponents attention is then focussed away from trying to read your pathetic paranoid mind and instead analyses every action for which they were responsible since the last game was played. During this time there is a period of uncomfortable silence between you. The sulker returns to 'going quiet' again while your opponent is thinking of what they've done wrong that causes you to act like a childish a**hole.

It's important not to let this period of silence go on too long otherwise your opponents mind will wander to other things like shoes, or in the case of a male opponent, breasts. If you think you are losing them then this is the time to up the ante. Let out a sigh, just loud enough to nudge their guilt feelings back on track.

Even though you said that there was nothing wrong with you, the novice opponent may ask, “Is it something I've done?” This is music to the ears of the professional sulker as it shows their opponent is feeling uncomfortable. Even to the extent of questioning their own actions. No self respecting sulker says “yes” at this point because as the sad individual that you are, this was exactly the situation you were hoping to bring about and there is more mileage to get from this situation. Also saying 'yes' would leave you with the problem of explaining what it was that your opponent did that upset you and in the case of an imaginary slight, you know full and well you are going to look a proper Charlie.

If your opponent comes close to guessing the trivial reason you intended to use as an excuse for this sulk, the only option for the sulker to prolong the game is to walk off in a huff. Your opponent, scenting victory, may decide to follow you to drive home their advantage. At this stage the 'slammed door' routine comes into play. This can also be accompanied with the 'stomp up the stairs' ruse. However, if you live in a bungalow do not use the 'stomp up the stair' ruse as hysterical laughter from your opponent will only undermine your pathetic lack of self confidence even further.

You know that you are sulking. And your opponent knows you're sulking but this fact has got to remain unspoken to keep the game going. As soon as the word 'sulk' is mentioned by either player then the level of satisfaction gained from playing this game is diminished. So be on your guard throughout the game to some of the dirty tricks that your opponent may use to try and break your resolve.

Your opponent may just come straight out and ask you if you are sulking. If you fall into their trap, a reply of either 'yes' or 'no' will find you well and truly stuffed. The only way to deal with this scenario is to use the 'walk off in a huff' ruse.

Your opponent may decide to let you stew in your own juice and choose to simply ignore you. Difficult to deal with this one. An increase in the frequency and volume of 'sighing' may annoy them enough to overcome their selfish stance.

Your opponent may threaten to pack their bags and leave you if you don't grow up.

If your opponent is particularly good in bed it might be best to throw in the towel at this point.

Your opponent may beat the crap out of you.

Let's be perfectly honest here, it's no more than you deserve, is it?

Your opponent may decide to counter-sulk. In which case you both deserve each other.


Read more: http://www.bukisa.com/articles/282364_t ... zBbWJwDH7S

I tried very hard to support you and be kind when you were struggleing, I thought I was very supportive when you head butted the wall. I know its hard for you, its hard for both of us. I thought i was quite forgiving when you were cross with me and quite tollerant in general. I never wanted to make you sad, cross or upset and only tried to make you happy. I know Im difficult and stressful but I did not intend any harm to you. Im sorry I could not meet you needs or make you happy. I will try harder not to text you.

did you even thank me for looking after your child during the last stressful SW visit? no.
have you ever thanked me for looking after the kids and making an effort with them no. you are extra nasty to me when i spend time with the kids or help with them. Now because of you doing that they cannot see me again. i am so angry, so full of anger, i cant cope with all this anger inside me.

u need to find another soft twat to punish for the deeds of your nasty parents, rapists and nasty exes. not me anymore.

My intention was not to punnish you but was to love you and make you happy. Im sorry things are so far from what my intentions are.

If you ever give me another chance I swear I will try harder and be better. I know more of what things annoy you now and so can not bring up topics of conversation which upset you.

I can make sure I dont let stress get on top of me and be less irratable and I promise I will make sure you feel appreciated and I show my gratitude more obviously.

Im sorry I made you feel bad, I so wanted to make you happy, you mean everything to me.

I think so highly of you and value you so much, I love how you are, your spirit and things you say, what you think about things, I dont want to be apart from you, your so valuable to me.

I will try harder not to contact you if thats what you want, but I wish you would reconcider and see me again.

when we first togther. you are stressed with social worker, i come in and try to help, you scream at me and slam door in my face. then you make loads of posts on this forum about how stupid and horrible i am and how i follow you around everywhere and im too stupid to give you space. we go to autscape. you have a fit about the train taking too long, you turn red and start growling and breathing heavily. i try to hold you and help and you shout dont touch me. i feel stupid and bad and make sure not to touch you.
then we go to meetup. you sit there stressed waiting for people. you are doing the same heavy breathing and angry faces. i think "ah i know what to do now" and force myself to sit away and not hold your hand, force myself even though i want to, keep forcing myself. afterewards you send me texts breaking up with me and you cry that i sat away from you before the meetup and you wanted me to comfort you but i didnt care and sat away from you. so the next time somehting bad happens, "she wants me to not go away and stay even if she shouts". no its wrong, you say im horrible and make me leave. i come in the room while u do exercize video, you scream and throw me out, saying i should have known you would want space. next time i stay out of the room when you do exercize video, you snap at me saying i should not have left as you are "not that much of a b***h" to need the room to yourself. your mum is nasty, i stay back and give you space, its wrong and your nasty to me. the kids are stressful, i try and help and stay close, its wrong and your nasty to me. kid cuts hair off, i stay out and let you deal with it, its wrong and your nasty to me. Doctor rude, i stay and try and help, its wrong and your nasty to me. we go to the shop, you ask me what i want for tea, everything i say is wrong and makes you shout in the shop and cause a scene. but you wont just choose yourself, you have to keep asking me to list of things i can think of, shouting at them all, even thouh you and your family have so many diet problems and in-tolerances that i dont know about i have to make crap choices and keep being shouted at. you did that just for an excuse to hurt and emabres me, no other reason.

and then you complain about other family members of yours being "schizo-phrena-genic" and doing "double binds" to make you crazy. get some self awareness.

I think when Im irratable there probably is no 'right thing' to do and I was irratable with what you did as I was irratable. I think the solution to that is for me to try to lower my stress levels so Im less irratable. Your the same and not easily pleased when you are cross. When I was irratable it did not mean I didnt love you though, I was just irratable at that time, later I was not irratable and forgot about it.

I think its hard for someone who 'keeps things in' and remembers everything to understand someone who 'lets it all hang out' then forgets about it. My personality is 'to wear my heart on my sleave' and Im not likely to be able to be a 'repressed' person who does not verbally state my feelings about things, however I can try to not tell you what I think if that is what you want. I can not invissage you likeing a relationship with someone who does not tell you how they feel, mention their past, or their opinion on anything though, its sounds quite dull and loveless.

Im sorry I made you upset and hurt and cross and will endevour to do a better job of things in the future.

Im very sad you think Im like my mum, thats the worse thing you could say to me.

i failed a driving test and i did not hurt you or be nasty to you, i wanted comfort from you and for you to be my lover. if you failed an exam or essay i have to avoid you as you will be nasty and hurtful to me.

i dont like you and dont want to see you. im going to stop posting.

because im the one who gets asked to leave and has to do stressful angry train journeys.

You are correct, a relationship would be impossible if I have to change myself so much from who I am to be acceptable to you.

I promise I will not contact you again, it will be as if I never existed.

I think its time to lock this thread.