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I think revenge can be healthy

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CaptainTrips222
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20 Apr 2011, 8:53 am

leejosepho wrote:
I once had a situation where my personal "revenge" and a sense of justice that could not have been achieved in any other way ran side-by-side. It was wrong of me to take matters into my own hands and I ended up in prison for what I did, but it was also wrong of society to just let the kind of thing that other man had first done to remain unpunished. In court, the prosecutor accurately pointed out my complete lack of remorse for what I had done, but then the judge silenced all editorial comment about that and showed much mercy to me while calling what I had done "a crime of passion".

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I've sought revenge before and strangely felt much healthier after it. There's something to be said for letting it go, yes, but aren't there scenarios where it sends a powerful message and leads to greater respect?

Yes, but I think few people are able to do that without the result then even further encouraging them to personally continue on in trying to have all things as they believe all things should be.


You're right. You have to keep yourself in check. Some people can't, but they're the ones who usually instigate things in the first place.

It's none of my business, and you can say so, but do you mind me asking what you did to end up incarcerated?



leejosepho
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20 Apr 2011, 9:00 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
It's none of my business, and you can say so, but do you mind me asking what you did to end up incarcerated?

I torched my place of employment after discovering the general manager had been frigging my first wife for the preceding six months. I had worked hard and even overtime-without-pay for that man, and I knew what exposing him for what he was would do within a society that would otherwise just chuckle.

Edit: The county prosecutor was also the corporate attorney for that place, and I had gone straight to the police station (for personal protection, actually) and had given a full confession immediately after doing what I had done ... and then the judge forced the prosecutor to give me a great plea bargain!


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wefunction
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20 Apr 2011, 9:21 am

When Milton torched the building in Office Space, he got to go to the Caribbean. :(



leejosepho
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20 Apr 2011, 9:24 am

My dad initially bonded me out of jail with cash and offered to buy me a ticket to Australia!


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wefunction
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20 Apr 2011, 9:29 am

leejosepho wrote:
My dad initially bonded me out of jail with cash and offered to buy me a ticket to Australia!


He's a good dad to offer.



leejosepho
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20 Apr 2011, 9:37 am

I was just getting into heavy drinking and smoking dope at that time, and I probably would have never survived the new location.


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Jonsi
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21 Apr 2011, 2:26 pm

Revenge isn't healthy because no matter how you look at it, someone is going to be hurt. Pain is not healthy and neither is causing it.



Booyakasha
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21 Apr 2011, 2:36 pm

Indeed - like one wise person said: holding on to anger is like holding burning hot coal in your hand. Before you can hurl it at someone else, you are getting burned yourself.



CaptainTrips222
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22 Apr 2011, 12:02 am

Booyakasha wrote:
Indeed - like one wise person said: holding on to anger is like holding burning hot coal in your hand. Before you can hurl it at someone else, you are getting burned yourself.


That goes well with your avatar.



Booyakasha
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22 Apr 2011, 1:16 am

Well, I have more of those:

Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.



auntblabby
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22 Apr 2011, 3:40 am

you must have a good collection of these edifying bon mots 8)



Booyakasha
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22 Apr 2011, 3:42 am

:lol: Just scraps from here and there. :) Sometimes something good comes out of being an internet junkie.



auntblabby
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22 Apr 2011, 5:13 am

yeah, i don't know what i'd do if there was no internet. :?



Booyakasha
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22 Apr 2011, 7:49 am

8O To think of being convicted again to a life of bad sitcoms, BigBrother and old fashioned telephones, to a world of (at most) 50 km in diameter ...



hyperlexian
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22 Apr 2011, 5:26 pm

i don't have an instinct to personally "get revenge".

i just keep in mind that at the end of the day, i have to live with myself, and that other person has to live with their own self. i have to exist peacefully inside my own head, and if i go around taking revenge, then i am poisoning my own internal character (as per Booyakasha's statement).

the other person already poisoned their own character, and they have to live with that. i can't force that person to give a s**t about treating me badly either - even if they got their comeuppance from me i can't force them to care about what they did, and what is the point in causing empty suffering?


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Booyakasha
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23 Apr 2011, 3:55 am

Those two quotes are allegedly signed to Buddha, (even though he of course haven't written down anything).

I could go along the lines of Buddhist teaching of illusory ego, the cause of all suffering, but the bottom line is - we identify with the psychological entity usually perceived as an "ego", and all its evanescent manifestations - which cause suffering. Dis-identify and voilà! the suffering is gone, there is no one to be hurt or want to take revenge, no one to feel angry. If only it could be as easy as it is to write this post....