24 May 2012, 10:48 am
That's interesting-I suffer severely from phone phobia-but I thought it was just me. Everywhere I look I see people with phones attached to their ears, so I thought it was just me. I never answer the phone, but I think that most people actually know that about me already. Sometimes they'll leave a message, because they know that it is the only that there is even a possibility of me picking up, but I don't always return calls either. Some people get frustrated with me, but most just stop calling. There used to be a few women who would call me and want to chat on the phone while they did their housework, and I cannot tell you how irritating that was-for whatever reason I HATE talking on the phone. If I have to make a phone call I might pace the floor for at least an hour before actually making the call.
I also have had similar things happen in stores. There is a discount grocery store that I shop at because the prices are really cheap-but sometimes they will have music just really blaring to the point of extreme discomfort to me, and I'll be standing in front of a wall of breakfast cereal trying to pick one for my kids, and I just can't even wrap my mind around picking a simple cereal, because the music is warping my brain. It is really sad-I might stand there for 10 minutes. Those are shopping trips that I come home from just in pain.
One thing that really helps me when I have a lot to do and I am feeling very overwhelmed, is I just pick one task at a time and concentrate on that, instead of trying to do it all at once. If I think about it all at once, I'll freeze from anxiety and stress and won't do anything. Prioritize and only look at one thing at a time.
For me, I left home at 17 and never went back except for very short transitory periods, because I love my parents, but I can't be in the same house as them. I lived in some hole in the wall apartments and sometimes with roommates, but for me it was always a better option than being at home. There is also help from social services like food stamps. Stress can be toxic-especially for people on the spectrum-and I would try and look for ways to limit it. I have no idea of what your home life is like or other factors in your life, so I am NOT telling you to do this-only sharing what has worked for me. I realize that there may be issues in your life that would make it too hard to live on your own, or you might have a better relationship with your family than I did.
Considering all that you have going on, it might be a good idea to put school on the back burner. Take life one obstacle at a time until you feel stronger. Just moving forward with getting help is probably a really good place to start.
BTW, I would like lots of frosting and rainbow sprinkles on my piece of cake.....why is it everything tastes better with rainbow sprinkles-I must get that from my kids. 
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 May 2012, 11:41 am
MeshugenahMama wrote:
That's interesting-I suffer severely from phone phobia-but I thought it was just me. Everywhere I look I see people with phones attached to their ears, so I thought it was just me. I never answer the phone, but I think that most people actually know that about me already. Sometimes they'll leave a message, because they know that it is the only that there is even a possibility of me picking up, but I don't always return calls either. Some people get frustrated with me, but most just stop calling. There used to be a few women who would call me and want to chat on the phone while they did their housework, and I cannot tell you how irritating that was-for whatever reason I HATE talking on the phone. If I have to make a phone call I might pace the floor for at least an hour before actually making the call.
Yeah that is pretty much how I am, and most people seem to think its insane anyone could possibly hate talking on the phone, let alone being freaked out by talking on the phone. I remember when I started getting closer to 18 my mom would tell me how I needed to start doing things like make phone calls for myself.....so that was rather hurtful since it wasn't about not wanting to be responsible for myself it was phones literally freaked me out and still do.
I also have had similar things happen in stores. There is a discount grocery store that I shop at because the prices are really cheap-but sometimes they will have music just really blaring to the point of extreme discomfort to me, and I'll be standing in front of a wall of breakfast cereal trying to pick one for my kids, and I just can't even wrap my mind around picking a simple cereal, because the music is warping my brain. It is really sad-I might stand there for 10 minutes. Those are shopping trips that I come home from just in pain.
If it was music I liked and not skipping I'd have been fine with it...but it was annoying current 'hits'(that should really be called misses) and skipping every 5 seconds. So with the sensory issues and the PTSD startle response it really was not fun for me at all...and made it very hard to decide on what to get and to remember what all I even went in for.
One thing that really helps me when I have a lot to do and I am feeling very overwhelmed, is I just pick one task at a time and concentrate on that, instead of trying to do it all at once. If I think about it all at once, I'll freeze from anxiety and stress and won't do anything. Prioritize and only look at one thing at a time.
Yeah that is something I have to try and do at times, thing is sometimes other people kind of rush me which makes it worse or I feel like I'm not doing enough so I rush myself. Like for instance I want to get some help with the psychological issues I'm having but then my mom will come up with things she thinks I should do to be helpful but then that interferes with me trying to prioritize one thing so I don't overwhelm myself with stress. I mean it would be nice if I could handle more at once, and its even frustrating to me that I can't...but i have to acknowledge at this time those are my limits.
For me, I left home at 17 and never went back except for very short transitory periods, because I love my parents, but I can't be in the same house as them. I lived in some hole in the wall apartments and sometimes with roommates, but for me it was always a better option than being at home. There is also help from social services like food stamps. Stress can be toxic-especially for people on the spectrum-and I would try and look for ways to limit it. I have no idea of what your home life is like or other factors in your life, so I am NOT telling you to do this-only sharing what has worked for me. I realize that there may be issues in your life that would make it too hard to live on your own, or you might have a better relationship with your family than I did.
Yeah you are right, I do have to be careful about stress....especially since I have PTSD which is basically inescapable constant stress, so I'm already kind of in the hole, I don't need to dig it any deeper. But yeah my mom can cause me a lot of stress even when just trying to help or when she thinks I'm not pushing myself quite hard enough. My dad causes me some stress to, I mean I can actually talk to him but his life has gone to hell in many ways since my parents got divorced so I worry about him not having a place to live and such but he still tries to help me and my siblings out as much as he can. Right now I live at my moms house....with her, her boyfriend and my brother and its hard for me to be there for any length of time because I don't get along with her boyfriend, its hard trying to keep my cool around mom so she doesn't worry or get the wrong idea(such as thinking I'm being rude with a bad attitude just for the hell of it) and of course I don't want my brother seeing me when i get set off since he's too young to really understand PTSD and at the age of 10 I don't want to try and explain to him something so terrible but then I feel bad for not being there for him more often. I stay at my friends house most of the time or lately that is how it is because he actually understand some of what is going on with me and is able to be supportive and not add more to my stress. I feel like if I tried spending more time at my moms I would get set off way too much.
Considering all that you have going on, it might be a good idea to put school on the back burner. Take life one obstacle at a time until you feel stronger. Just moving forward with getting help is probably a really good place to start.
BTW, I would like lots of frosting and rainbow sprinkles on my piece of cake.....why is it everything tastes better with rainbow sprinkles-I must get that from my kids.
Yeah that is pretty much how I am, and most people seem to think its insane anyone could possibly hate talking on the phone, let alone being freaked out by talking on the phone. I remember when I started getting closer to 18 my mom would tell me how I needed to start doing things like make phone calls for myself.....so that was rather hurtful since it wasn't about not wanting to be responsible for myself it was phones literally freaked me out and still do.
I also have had similar things happen in stores. There is a discount grocery store that I shop at because the prices are really cheap-but sometimes they will have music just really blaring to the point of extreme discomfort to me, and I'll be standing in front of a wall of breakfast cereal trying to pick one for my kids, and I just can't even wrap my mind around picking a simple cereal, because the music is warping my brain. It is really sad-I might stand there for 10 minutes. Those are shopping trips that I come home from just in pain.
If it was music I liked and not skipping I'd have been fine with it...but it was annoying current 'hits'(that should really be called misses) and skipping every 5 seconds. So with the sensory issues and the PTSD startle response it really was not fun for me at all...and made it very hard to decide on what to get and to remember what all I even went in for.
One thing that really helps me when I have a lot to do and I am feeling very overwhelmed, is I just pick one task at a time and concentrate on that, instead of trying to do it all at once. If I think about it all at once, I'll freeze from anxiety and stress and won't do anything. Prioritize and only look at one thing at a time.
Yeah that is something I have to try and do at times, thing is sometimes other people kind of rush me which makes it worse or I feel like I'm not doing enough so I rush myself. Like for instance I want to get some help with the psychological issues I'm having but then my mom will come up with things she thinks I should do to be helpful but then that interferes with me trying to prioritize one thing so I don't overwhelm myself with stress. I mean it would be nice if I could handle more at once, and its even frustrating to me that I can't...but i have to acknowledge at this time those are my limits.
For me, I left home at 17 and never went back except for very short transitory periods, because I love my parents, but I can't be in the same house as them. I lived in some hole in the wall apartments and sometimes with roommates, but for me it was always a better option than being at home. There is also help from social services like food stamps. Stress can be toxic-especially for people on the spectrum-and I would try and look for ways to limit it. I have no idea of what your home life is like or other factors in your life, so I am NOT telling you to do this-only sharing what has worked for me. I realize that there may be issues in your life that would make it too hard to live on your own, or you might have a better relationship with your family than I did.
Yeah you are right, I do have to be careful about stress....especially since I have PTSD which is basically inescapable constant stress, so I'm already kind of in the hole, I don't need to dig it any deeper. But yeah my mom can cause me a lot of stress even when just trying to help or when she thinks I'm not pushing myself quite hard enough. My dad causes me some stress to, I mean I can actually talk to him but his life has gone to hell in many ways since my parents got divorced so I worry about him not having a place to live and such but he still tries to help me and my siblings out as much as he can. Right now I live at my moms house....with her, her boyfriend and my brother and its hard for me to be there for any length of time because I don't get along with her boyfriend, its hard trying to keep my cool around mom so she doesn't worry or get the wrong idea(such as thinking I'm being rude with a bad attitude just for the hell of it) and of course I don't want my brother seeing me when i get set off since he's too young to really understand PTSD and at the age of 10 I don't want to try and explain to him something so terrible but then I feel bad for not being there for him more often. I stay at my friends house most of the time or lately that is how it is because he actually understand some of what is going on with me and is able to be supportive and not add more to my stress. I feel like if I tried spending more time at my moms I would get set off way too much.
Considering all that you have going on, it might be a good idea to put school on the back burner. Take life one obstacle at a time until you feel stronger. Just moving forward with getting help is probably a really good place to start.
BTW, I would like lots of frosting and rainbow sprinkles on my piece of cake.....why is it everything tastes better with rainbow sprinkles-I must get that from my kids.
I am not in school anymore, dropped out/failed at the community college a few months ago, I don't think I will be going back to school any time soon if at all. Being on college campus's and in schools trigger my PTSD considering the event that caused it so I had to quit doing that. But yeah I feel bad for that at times because I can't even go to my brothers school for things family is supposed to be there for...like field day recently it was of course at his school and he would have liked for me to come and cheer him on or whatever but I couldn't do it I would have probably just ended up getting too anxious and having to leave anyways.
So yeah I want to try and focus on the psychological help for now.
lol and lots of frosting and sprinkles it is, in fact you can have most of the frosting since I prefer less frosting on my cake.
24 May 2012, 11:46 am
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 May 2012, 12:19 pm
24 May 2012, 1:13 pm
24 May 2012, 2:28 pm
Sweetleaf wrote:
MeshugenahMama wrote:
That's interesting-I suffer severely from phone phobia-but I thought it was just me. Everywhere I look I see people with phones attached to their ears, so I thought it was just me. I never answer the phone, but I think that most people actually know that about me already. Sometimes they'll leave a message, because they know that it is the only that there is even a possibility of me picking up, but I don't always return calls either. Some people get frustrated with me, but most just stop calling. There used to be a few women who would call me and want to chat on the phone while they did their housework, and I cannot tell you how irritating that was-for whatever reason I HATE talking on the phone. If I have to make a phone call I might pace the floor for at least an hour before actually making the call.
Yeah that is pretty much how I am, and most people seem to think its insane anyone could possibly hate talking on the phone, let alone being freaked out by talking on the phone. I remember when I started getting closer to 18 my mom would tell me how I needed to start doing things like make phone calls for myself.....so that was rather hurtful since it wasn't about not wanting to be responsible for myself it was phones literally freaked me out and still do.
I believe in picking my battles, and this just isn't something I choose to "work on". When I was growing up there were no cell phones-there might not have even been cordless phone. If I needed to make a phone call, I'd walk to the gas station and use the pay phone there, because when I was young and living on my own I certainly wasn't going to bother with having phone service connected. People did have beepers.....hmmmm......do beeper still exist? Anyway my theory behind this whole text messaging thing is that someone on the spectrum must have invented it, so they wouldn't have to talk on the phone.
I also have had similar things happen in stores. There is a discount grocery store that I shop at because the prices are really cheap-but sometimes they will have music just really blaring to the point of extreme discomfort to me, and I'll be standing in front of a wall of breakfast cereal trying to pick one for my kids, and I just can't even wrap my mind around picking a simple cereal, because the music is warping my brain. It is really sad-I might stand there for 10 minutes. Those are shopping trips that I come home from just in pain.
If it was music I liked and not skipping I'd have been fine with it...but it was annoying current 'hits'(that should really be called misses) and skipping every 5 seconds. So with the sensory issues and the PTSD startle response it really was not fun for me at all...and made it very hard to decide on what to get and to remember what all I even went in for.
I love music, and if I like the music than I like it loud, but this is also brain processing decision making thing-even with no music. On a really bad day, simply deciding what to wear can almost bring me to tears, and that's when I start to pace.
One thing that really helps me when I have a lot to do and I am feeling very overwhelmed, is I just pick one task at a time and concentrate on that, instead of trying to do it all at once. If I think about it all at once, I'll freeze from anxiety and stress and won't do anything. Prioritize and only look at one thing at a time.
Yeah that is something I have to try and do at times, thing is sometimes other people kind of rush me which makes it worse or I feel like I'm not doing enough so I rush myself. Like for instance I want to get some help with the psychological issues I'm having but then my mom will come up with things she thinks I should do to be helpful but then that interferes with me trying to prioritize one thing so I don't overwhelm myself with stress. I mean it would be nice if I could handle more at once, and its even frustrating to me that I can't...but i have to acknowledge at this time those are my limits.
For me, I left home at 17 and never went back except for very short transitory periods, because I love my parents, but I can't be in the same house as them. I lived in some hole in the wall apartments and sometimes with roommates, but for me it was always a better option than being at home. There is also help from social services like food stamps. Stress can be toxic-especially for people on the spectrum-and I would try and look for ways to limit it. I have no idea of what your home life is like or other factors in your life, so I am NOT telling you to do this-only sharing what has worked for me. I realize that there may be issues in your life that would make it too hard to live on your own, or you might have a better relationship with your family than I did.
Yeah you are right, I do have to be careful about stress....especially since I have PTSD which is basically inescapable constant stress, so I'm already kind of in the hole, I don't need to dig it any deeper. But yeah my mom can cause me a lot of stress even when just trying to help or when she thinks I'm not pushing myself quite hard enough. My dad causes me some stress to, I mean I can actually talk to him but his life has gone to hell in many ways since my parents got divorced so I worry about him not having a place to live and such but he still tries to help me and my siblings out as much as he can. Right now I live at my moms house....with her, her boyfriend and my brother and its hard for me to be there for any length of time because I don't get along with her boyfriend, its hard trying to keep my cool around mom so she doesn't worry or get the wrong idea(such as thinking I'm being rude with a bad attitude just for the hell of it) and of course I don't want my brother seeing me when i get set off since he's too young to really understand PTSD and at the age of 10 I don't want to try and explain to him something so terrible but then I feel bad for not being there for him more often. I stay at my friends house most of the time or lately that is how it is because he actually understand some of what is going on with me and is able to be supportive and not add more to my stress. I feel like if I tried spending more time at my moms I would get set off way too much.
One thing that got me through my young adulthood is that I almost always had one good friend who was as messed up as I was and we would get through things together. I guess now, my husband fulfills that role.
Considering all that you have going on, it might be a good idea to put school on the back burner. Take life one obstacle at a time until you feel stronger. Just moving forward with getting help is probably a really good place to start.
BTW, I would like lots of frosting and rainbow sprinkles on my piece of cake.....why is it everything tastes better with rainbow sprinkles-I must get that from my kids.
Yeah that is pretty much how I am, and most people seem to think its insane anyone could possibly hate talking on the phone, let alone being freaked out by talking on the phone. I remember when I started getting closer to 18 my mom would tell me how I needed to start doing things like make phone calls for myself.....so that was rather hurtful since it wasn't about not wanting to be responsible for myself it was phones literally freaked me out and still do.
I believe in picking my battles, and this just isn't something I choose to "work on". When I was growing up there were no cell phones-there might not have even been cordless phone. If I needed to make a phone call, I'd walk to the gas station and use the pay phone there, because when I was young and living on my own I certainly wasn't going to bother with having phone service connected. People did have beepers.....hmmmm......do beeper still exist? Anyway my theory behind this whole text messaging thing is that someone on the spectrum must have invented it, so they wouldn't have to talk on the phone.
I also have had similar things happen in stores. There is a discount grocery store that I shop at because the prices are really cheap-but sometimes they will have music just really blaring to the point of extreme discomfort to me, and I'll be standing in front of a wall of breakfast cereal trying to pick one for my kids, and I just can't even wrap my mind around picking a simple cereal, because the music is warping my brain. It is really sad-I might stand there for 10 minutes. Those are shopping trips that I come home from just in pain.
If it was music I liked and not skipping I'd have been fine with it...but it was annoying current 'hits'(that should really be called misses) and skipping every 5 seconds. So with the sensory issues and the PTSD startle response it really was not fun for me at all...and made it very hard to decide on what to get and to remember what all I even went in for.
I love music, and if I like the music than I like it loud, but this is also brain processing decision making thing-even with no music. On a really bad day, simply deciding what to wear can almost bring me to tears, and that's when I start to pace.
One thing that really helps me when I have a lot to do and I am feeling very overwhelmed, is I just pick one task at a time and concentrate on that, instead of trying to do it all at once. If I think about it all at once, I'll freeze from anxiety and stress and won't do anything. Prioritize and only look at one thing at a time.
Yeah that is something I have to try and do at times, thing is sometimes other people kind of rush me which makes it worse or I feel like I'm not doing enough so I rush myself. Like for instance I want to get some help with the psychological issues I'm having but then my mom will come up with things she thinks I should do to be helpful but then that interferes with me trying to prioritize one thing so I don't overwhelm myself with stress. I mean it would be nice if I could handle more at once, and its even frustrating to me that I can't...but i have to acknowledge at this time those are my limits.
For me, I left home at 17 and never went back except for very short transitory periods, because I love my parents, but I can't be in the same house as them. I lived in some hole in the wall apartments and sometimes with roommates, but for me it was always a better option than being at home. There is also help from social services like food stamps. Stress can be toxic-especially for people on the spectrum-and I would try and look for ways to limit it. I have no idea of what your home life is like or other factors in your life, so I am NOT telling you to do this-only sharing what has worked for me. I realize that there may be issues in your life that would make it too hard to live on your own, or you might have a better relationship with your family than I did.
Yeah you are right, I do have to be careful about stress....especially since I have PTSD which is basically inescapable constant stress, so I'm already kind of in the hole, I don't need to dig it any deeper. But yeah my mom can cause me a lot of stress even when just trying to help or when she thinks I'm not pushing myself quite hard enough. My dad causes me some stress to, I mean I can actually talk to him but his life has gone to hell in many ways since my parents got divorced so I worry about him not having a place to live and such but he still tries to help me and my siblings out as much as he can. Right now I live at my moms house....with her, her boyfriend and my brother and its hard for me to be there for any length of time because I don't get along with her boyfriend, its hard trying to keep my cool around mom so she doesn't worry or get the wrong idea(such as thinking I'm being rude with a bad attitude just for the hell of it) and of course I don't want my brother seeing me when i get set off since he's too young to really understand PTSD and at the age of 10 I don't want to try and explain to him something so terrible but then I feel bad for not being there for him more often. I stay at my friends house most of the time or lately that is how it is because he actually understand some of what is going on with me and is able to be supportive and not add more to my stress. I feel like if I tried spending more time at my moms I would get set off way too much.
One thing that got me through my young adulthood is that I almost always had one good friend who was as messed up as I was and we would get through things together. I guess now, my husband fulfills that role.
Considering all that you have going on, it might be a good idea to put school on the back burner. Take life one obstacle at a time until you feel stronger. Just moving forward with getting help is probably a really good place to start.
BTW, I would like lots of frosting and rainbow sprinkles on my piece of cake.....why is it everything tastes better with rainbow sprinkles-I must get that from my kids.
I am not in school anymore, dropped out/failed at the community college a few months ago, I don't think I will be going back to school any time soon if at all. Being on college campus's and in schools trigger my PTSD considering the event that caused it so I had to quit doing that. But yeah I feel bad for that at times because I can't even go to my brothers school for things family is supposed to be there for...like field day recently it was of course at his school and he would have liked for me to come and cheer him on or whatever but I couldn't do it I would have probably just ended up getting too anxious and having to leave anyways.
It could be worse-the first time I dropped out of college my parents sent me to beauty school (hairdresser), because they said it was fine that I didn't want to go to college, but needed to do something-how lame was that-but I know they were just trying to help. I did enjoy changing the color of my hair on a weekly basis, and I did graduate, but working in hair salons was one horrible experience after another-very short lived.
So yeah I want to try and focus on the psychological help for now.
lol and lots of frosting and sprinkles it is, in fact you can have most of the frosting since I prefer less frosting on my cake.
Someday I'll figure this quoting thing out.......but not today.........take care
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 May 2012, 3:14 pm
24 May 2012, 3:49 pm
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 May 2012, 4:29 pm
24 May 2012, 5:33 pm
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
24 May 2012, 5:50 pm
edgewaters wrote:
Damn, you sound just like me when I'm thinking internally. Maybe you were right in that other post, you sure do sound like a pissed off old man in a 22 yr old female's body. But, that puts you ahead of the game. I'd trade situations in a flash - it would be a sweet deal (for me, that is) to exchange your wasted time for mine.
Even so I do have some optimism, I've seen too many improbable things in this world to think that improbable = impossible.
I've basically given up on the notion of that I'll ever have a high-paying job but ... I'm not sure that would've been a viable route to happiness anyway. Too many constraints, too much responsibility. I'd like a decent paying blue collar sort of job, enough to meet an acceptable but rather humble standard of living compared to the ambitions of many others - with that I'd be happy, at least on the employment front. Having full time work that isn't outright awful (as many of the service industry jobs often are) would be plenty sufficient.
Even so I do have some optimism, I've seen too many improbable things in this world to think that improbable = impossible.
I've basically given up on the notion of that I'll ever have a high-paying job but ... I'm not sure that would've been a viable route to happiness anyway. Too many constraints, too much responsibility. I'd like a decent paying blue collar sort of job, enough to meet an acceptable but rather humble standard of living compared to the ambitions of many others - with that I'd be happy, at least on the employment front. Having full time work that isn't outright awful (as many of the service industry jobs often are) would be plenty sufficient.
Ha ha see I told you, and according to some weird psychic I talked to one time in one of my past lives I was a viking warrior...so pissed off bearded guy with an axe
. Also I am not very sure quite what I want in life I mean really for now just the basic nessesities and the means to enjoy myself some would be nice. I mostly have that but the stress of having to figure out how to keep that is difficult...I mean now i have no income so I have to figure something out SSI seems to be the best option for now. But maybe if I get psychological help they can hook me up with a job I could do or maybe theres a prescription that would help otherwise though SSI is the only real option I see at this point.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
25 May 2012, 4:31 pm
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,282
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
25 May 2012, 4:43 pm
25 May 2012, 9:32 pm
EstherJ
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Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 34
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Posts: 1,041
Location: The long-lost library at Alexandria
25 May 2012, 10:01 pm
26 May 2012, 9:10 am
