I think I'm a horrible person

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That's not the point. I may have come across abrupt.
This doom and gloom is triggered by something... I should know as I have it too but you can't focus on it and let it affect your life.
Also when I have talked to you, why don't you reply as I've not been informed otherwise not to talk to you? Don't get what I've said.

DON'T STOP WRITING NEW THREADS, JOE 90!

I'm not sure I can express it any more clearly than that.

We like you, and the stuff you are working through others are working through as well. You may not realize it, but when you put a voice to these feelings and get feedback it benefits others who are unable or unwilling to ask for help themselves.

Thanks. I can relate to NTs about some things, but there are other things that I can relate to other Aspies, and coming on here is my only way to empathise with other Aspies who may share similar experiences, which makes me feel less alone. There are no AS social groups in my area, and I was advised to talk to other Aspies on internet forums that are exclusively for people on the spectrum, and so this is what I'm doing. And quite frankly, I think I am proud of myself for opening up on here to people because I have social phobia, and for an Aspie with social phobia I think I am pretty brave to open up on here among people I have never met before.

Actually the most horrible persons on this planet are actually the ones who think they're the greatest out of all.

That is actually true. I know a psychopath who thinks he's the most wonderful person on the planet and thinks people who don't like him are horrible because of not liking him, even though he's a woman-beater, a paedophile, a control-freak, and gets partner into debt. We all say he's the worst person who has ever come along into our family. He's got my cousin and has isolated her from all her family and friends and she's not allowed to see anybody beyond his family. Even his family he doesn't care about, he's impatiently waiting for his own mother to pass on so he can have her house and the money. What an awful, insecure person. And he thinks he should be the most loved person on the planet, even though we've all got every right to hate the bastard. And to make it worse, we were all nice to him at first, until we realised how unstable he is. Ugh!

Not I'm just generalizing here, not everybody who thinks they're great are horrible people. Some people just have generally high self-esteem.

Wow, how do you get an ego like that if you're a freaking paedophile?

No one wants to be seen as a paedophile, it's not gangsta and neither is it alpha.

I know, that's how insane he is. He must be though, because he had sex with my cousin when she was 15, and he also kept on about his neighbour's 13-year-old daughter, but never their teenage sons at all. Long story about the whole situation, but me and my family know about it. I think I'll rather be me than this bloke.

Gawd! Who can live up to someone else's expectation? Stop trying. Screw them. You are much too valuable to waste your time on such people.

I went to school with at least 20 people from kindergarten to high school - even more from 1st grade on. I spent 6-8 hours a day, every weekday, for 13 years with these people. Some picked on me. A lot were my friends.

The interesting thing about Facebook is that now, 35 years after high school, I find myself reconnecting with these people. We really do know each other's inner child and it's been fun getting reacquainted as adults over 50.

Those who might have picked on me have worked it out. Mostly, they were intimidated by me. I'm a giant, extroverted, aspie girl with fearful ideas. The most interesting thing, phenomenon really, has been the addition of friends and siblings of my school chums with similar interests. I have a lot of friends I've never met these days. I love Facebook. It gets me out of my head without having to get out of my pajamas.

Kinda strange your family would know someone who's slept with 13 year old girls but no one has pressed charges.

Ah, that's another long story. We have tried, but they both denied it, even though it was obvious what was going on. This bloke is so convincing that he had brainwashed this young girl's mum (who had very poor self-esteem, has a few Aspie traits too) and so she denied what they were doing too. So she bottled up the stress of all this going on with her daughter, instead of just going to the police like she should of done. Then suddenly she had a nervous breakdown after her daughter turned 18, and came running to us for help and we got the police involved then but the police said they wouldn't do anything because she was 18. That annoyed me because we were actually trying to get her away from him so that she could have her own life and make her own decisions, but the police wouldn't listen, they only listened to his side of the story - which was all lies. God knows why the police believed him for, and the young girl played along. If she had confessed the whole truth of what had really been going on, he would have been arrested and I would have got my cousin back.

My cousin has Learning Difficulties, by the way. She has always been intellectually delayed.

If it's going to continue ... and there's no other options ... some people take these things behind the woodshed. Just an observation.