I want to be dead

Post Reply New Topic

I'm staying with my Dad for the time being while I get things sorted out. I may get a less than ideal resolution from my actions but at least, I am not dead or suicidal,. I don't see myself being either anything soon.

Good because the last thing you need is the wrong help and feeling the same.

Good news I have moved into a houseshare and working towards getting a job while I sort my head. Thanks for all the support guys, it really helped.

You dont find anything better to say? This sounds like we would build up our life based on lies. How could you ever think of this seriously?

And how could you take this seriously anyway? This is a total NT perspective and as you probably have realised it is only one side of the coin
You dont want to be telling here that every aspie should try to mimic perfect NT behaviour or how should I interpret this?

Quite inappropriate I must say and I am sorry to say that...

Your thread is somewhat different and there is maybe somekind of truth in it that NTs wont ever consider our view on things to be a valid option.
Neither are they going to accept us as we are but they want us to learn their codes

I want to be dead too. I might aswell be. I can't go on living with Asperger's Syndrome any more. It's such a horrible thing to have. It stops me from living a normal life, even though I'm high-functioning. It stops me from being able to have fun and enjoy the things around me and make the most of being alive and healthy. I might aswell be dead. I want to be NT, and having more friends, a group of people who include me, not appearing standoffish or odd in any way (all people have odd ways but it doesn't always make them socially unnaccepted like it does me), I want to have friends texting me saying ''come and meet us near [place]''. I just want to be wanted, in a group of people, and able to communicate normally without being odd or shy or nervous or socially phobic or anything else that makes me appear weird to them. I really don't want to be a person like this. I want to be normal, I know nobody's perfect but I want to be normal enough to fit in, to get on, to be happy at social events. Is that too much to ask?

I really hate having Asperger's Syndrome. I'd rather have Down's Syndrome. At least people with that can enjoy the things around them more, and don't care what people think of them, and many people don't get bothered by their social awkwardness anyway because they can see they have a condition and can make them feel special. But me, I look perfectly normal, but yet the vibes I give off make people look at me and think, ''hmm....there's something I can't put my finger on about that girl over there....she's normal, but....a bit weird at the same time....let's stare at her and make her feel uncomfortable....''

Having this disability absolutely sucks. I want to be accepted. Not looked upon as ''weird''.
Irrationally, right now I am hoping my brain will feel guilty for making me feel like this and may rearrange itself into a more NT brain with much better social skills, but I do know that is impossible but I'm still being irrational.

Thread locked at the request of the OP.