My mom yelled at me for nothing

Post Reply New Topic

Honestly, I don't think having MS or Crones Disease gives her an excuse to act the way she has been to you lately. My mother also has MS, but she does not lay her hands on me, or tell me to shut up when I am talking about something I find interesting.

I agree with others that 20 minutes is just too long to talk to your mom about Pokemon, especially since, assuming you are like my son, you have been doing this for years. I can't even begin to imagine how many hours' worth of Pokemon I have listened to and I know my son loves it, but I do not. It's probably weeks at this point.

That being said, if he is still playing Pokemon at 15, I will not tell him it is for babies or little kids. He likes MLP, too, and I would not tell him that is for 5 year old girls, either. He knows these things and to state the obvious is pointless. He likes what he likes.

My son and I have an agreement. If he is talking about something for too long, I simply say "I am bored of this topic" and he either changes the subject to something else, or we just stop interacting. It has made things much easier and I think it is also helping him to learn how to tell when someone else is bored with talking about his favorite topics. Maybe you could suggest some sort of mutually agreeable phrase between you and your mom?

I think you can take comfort in me saying most of the adults I hang out with actively play Pokemon. I'm 20, and I still get a thrill from it. I'm sure I will for years to come. I'm not allowed to post links or images yet, but the good people at AwkwardZombie made an appropriate comic for this subject. If you do a Google Image search for "Pokemon College" it's the first thing that comes up. You should look it up, it's a hoot.

Don't let the things your parents say change you. There is a generation gap. They don't understand what it means to be young in the postmodern world. However, if it bothers her, maybe you should reserve your Pokemon conversations for another audience. There are forums all over the internet full of people who are dying to hear your insight. Don't waste it on deaf ears! You will have a more enriching experience if you discuss these things with like-minded individuals. I know this from experience.

I didn't play Pokemon for a while, but not because I considered it wasn't for my age.

Are Black and White really good ? I was disappointed they didn't release a true third version, anyway.

I never talk about my special interests with my daughter,she gets mad so I now keep those things to myself.It gets somewhat easier as you age.I wouldn't be a teenager again,it's hard enough being that age without special issues.

I would give her a book or article to read on Autistic special interests.

Yeah, I think that's a great idea! And maybe try just leaving it out somewhere she's bound to see it - like on a coffee table or in the kitchen. That just might work better than actually giving it to her, idk....actually handing it to her might just make her feel more defensive.

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to The Haven)

I used to go through the same thing with my mom. She'd get mad at me for babbling on about my special interests, and the resulting rant would go something like this: "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'M SATURATED! YOU TALK AND YOU TALK FOR 40 HUNDRED HOURS AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL STUPID!! !" My special interests are typically more of an academic nature: humanities (religion, sociology, history) and sciences (biology, in particular). I also retain various bits of information I find interesting.

I don't believe that any special interest, no matter how focused, unconventional or "age-inappropriate", is useless and of no help in life. I'm not a Pokemon expert, but I used to watch the show and a younger cousin explained it to me. The gist, as I understand, is that there are these little battle monsters (or literally, Pocket Monsters) that players use to duel. Each one has specific traits, strengths and weaknesses, and there's a strategy for these duels that requires complex analysis. So, by learning what you can about Pokemon, you have demonstrated an ability to collect, organize and apply complex information. Pokemon is the (for lack of a better term) tool that your brain is using to teach these valuable skills. There may come a time when your brain will say, "Okay, I've had enough Pokemon. Ready to move on." At that point, the interest changes, but the skills you gained will remain. It happened with me. My special interest was My Little Pony. It lasted for 7 years. When that interest changed, the skills I'd honed did not. I still use them in everything I do and, while they don't help me much with my social problems, they have made me highly efficient in all other endeavors.

From interacting with my mom and other NTs, I've learned a little bit about them and I'm still learning. I've gathered that they feign interest because they genuinely care about our feelings and don't want to hurt us. They have good intentions. But they have their own thoughts, wants and needs, too. When they feel that we're hurting them, whether we mean to or not, they lash out. You mentioned your mom is unwell, so that is probably a big factor. When she's calm, it may be a good idea to tell her you love her (it will help make her feel better) and ask her to talk to you about whatever is on her mind. When she does start talking, just listen. When she pauses, nod your head. To NTs, that's a signal that you're paying attention. This method helped me to better communicate with my mother. When we started, we'd set a timer while we talked. We don't have to do it anymore because I've learned her rhythm and patterns, and she has learned mine, so I we can pace the conversation a little better. When she realized I was making an effort to appeal to her feelings, she was more willing to make an effort to understand me and my interests.