I'm just gonna throw this in amongst all the saccharine platitudes.
When I was your age I felt suicidal. I thought long and hard about it afterwards (when I no longer felt suicidal) and came to the conclusion that it was the most logical thing to do at that time. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, nor am I condoning rampant suicide, but in some cases I think it makes more sense than to live a life of pain. Granted you do not know if you will live a life of pain or not until you have lived it, but life does not always get better for some people, you won't know until you experience it.
The problem with suicide is that whilst it can make logical sense sometimes, it's hard to think about it clearly and objectively when you feel so emotionally unstable in the moment.
Also I do not understand why suicide is such a taboo. Suicide is not a selfish act, someone bringing a child in to the world, who did not ask to be born, is the most selfish act I can think of. People are brought in to this world against their will and I feel they have every right to leave it without feeling guilty, and for any reason they please, after all, it is your life to live or not live.
Having said this I can give you some useful, practical advice that may make you feel better, and that can't be read inside a Hallmark card:
Exercise - This one thing alone has had the biggest impact on my life. Not only do I feel better, but I look better and have gained confidence. If you want a place to start then I use this guy's videos on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/KozakSportsPerform. He has an array of videos ranging from beginner to advanced. Exercise will make you feel better if you do it regularly, and whilst at first motivation may be hard to come by (although the guy in the videos is an excellent motivator), over time you won't see it as exercise, it will be just another thing you do in your daily/weekly routine. And remember, you don't have to have a ripped body to feel good and be in good shape.
Acceptance - You are different from the majority of society, you will need to make peace with this if you wish to grow. I used to want to be like everybody else, I even tried it for a while. I thought back on some of the things I did whilst trying to 'fit in' and it made me cringe. I do not like sports, I don't care for cars, I'm not attracted to women (because I'm gay), I cannot stand gay clubs or 'gay' culture, I don't want to go out and get wasted every weekend, and I have no idea what the f**k a gangnam style is. And if I'm not cool enough to hang around with most of society then I'll go home and relish in the idea that my AS makes me different because, frankly, popular culture just bugs the crap out of me.
Time - Nothing happens overnight. You won't be the unique hot guy with washboard abs by the weekend. Everything takes time and the sooner you realise this, the easier it will be to implement change. Be patient, and remember, what seems like hard work at first will become second nature once it has been incorporated in to your routine.
If you wish to be like the rest of society then put on your hipster glasses and skinny jeans and give yourself a full blown lobotomy. Otherwise try and appreciate your differences, and enjoy viewing life through a different lens. When all is said and done, the sheep do not change the world, it's the people who think differently that have the real impact (I know that's cheesy as f**k and I apologise, but it's true).
24 Feb 2013, 7:45 pm
