I can't handle my job anymore
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas
Please continue to live. I want you alive if for no other reason than to have one more person available to help out with Spectrum Civil Rights if and when we get rolling. And plus, a lively intelligence who learns the 26 Brazilian states just because it seems cool to know, please do stay with us. And I mean, on this Earth.
Maybe you could find an interesting, creative way to get down to the hospital emergency room and be prepared to laugh it off if they make the colossal mistake of not taking it seriously, when they really should.
Now, I am personally an agnostic and a discontent from organized religion, but if you're a religious or spiritual person, more power to you and maybe talk to a minister, rabbi, cleric, just to have one more decently strong pair of shoulders to lay some of this on.
And I'd like to pitch you on a couple of books, and not boring books on depression or suicide, but a couple of books that go it out at much more obliquely.
The book Selling Ben Cheever by the author, he has a famous father, at the time Ben himself wasn't yet that good at fiction writing, so he had a series of jobs kind of ill-suited for himself, except there were aspects of the car job at the end he liked.
The novelist Irwin Shaw often writes the same novel over and over again. It's about a slightly depressed businessman who still does positive things. But he writes well and includes good stories.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas
I'm not going to be committing suicide this weekend. I just went on a whale watching trip yesterday and got really seasick. I don't really feel like having to deal with the complications of a failed suicide attempt now. Despite that this trip went badly, it refreshed my perspective on life, thus making my train of thought from a couple of days ago seem kind of irrelevant. I also went to a fair today, which helped to cheer me up a little.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas
neilson_wheels
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Joined: 11 Mar 2013
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,404
Location: London, Capital of the Un-United Kingdom
I know this is really late for a reply, but this really touched home.
I worked for my father for some 5 years. He paid me well, treated me well, but I felt so depressed and busy thinking about how great life would be if I was somewhere else that during that time I hardly got any work done.
This was some 10 years ago before my father retired. Fast forward... now i'm working for close to minimal wage for a boss that hardly knows me and doesn't appreciate me. I feel like I'm slaving away, doing work I DONT ENJOY, for people that I don't even LIKE. My current boss piles project upon project on me until the very last minute of my shift until I go home exhausted, depressed, and with a huge headache. I hate it here.
Now I think back to the times I worked for my father and I miss it... a lot. No, I didn't enjoy myself working there, but at least I had the good feeling of helping my family make money. I also had the feeling that I was more than just a disposable employee. If I could go back, I would have done it again.
I have a bad feeling that I'm going to spend the rest of my life broke and miserable... just a serf for the companies I will have to work for in my lifetime.... I hope it's just the depression talking. hang in there
