Graelwyn wrote:
Sometimes, I think that a relationship is destined to crumble the minute marriage comes into the equation, lol. I don't think I would ever want to marry, personally... it seems to instantly mean, loss of independence...it is as if, once that piece of paper is there and the girl is gotten, or the man is gotten, there is a license to stop working on it.
I hear ya there. The one time I married, things changed before the ink was dry on the license down at the courthouse. Those were the three most miserable years of my life. I think that one of the most lonely places you can be is married, if it's not really a marriage of mutual respect.
On the other hand, I've known folks who have been married for 60 years and they still hold hands when they go out for walks. I asked them, once, how they stayed so in love, and they said they made an effort to remember that the other one didn't have to stay with them, and they tried to treat each other as they did on their first dates. He used to bring her a little boquet of flowers every Sunday. It was really very sweet to talk to them, very nice people. Unfortunately she died a while back and he's now in a rapid decline without her. I doubt he'll last the year.
That's good advice to remember that neither person in the relationship has to stay. It's when you feel trapped that you push the edges of the box and that box starts to crumble under the pressure. We should look to the advice of others with longer more mature relationship experience more often.
03 Mar 2007, 2:50 pm
