Ready to commit suicide.

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We're sorry to hear that.



Sweet Pea hugs

Please don't give up on things/yourself/life -- making progress in developing self-regulation and finding ways to prevent meltdowns that don't rely on self-regulation (changing environment/circumstances) both take a long time.

Don't forget the successes you have posted about where you used a combination of sensory inputs and medications to deal with meltdowns -- even if those successes are few and far between they still count and are something to be proud of (and I'm sure will happen again).

Try not to feel bad about yourself because of your behavior during meltdowns -- it's not something that you choose.

He forgave you.

We forgive you.

Now, you forgive you.

Keep with it.

Concisely said!

We all make mistakes. I get that you're frustrated because your actions & reactions aren't "the real you," they aren't what you intend to put out there into the world.. they just.. happen. You know who else gets that? The worker you lashed out at. I bet he feels for you and your situation vs. being upset by it, especially if he's a true professional at his job.

IMO, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.. and if things are really bad for you right now, well, they can't get much worse & thus can only get better, right??

Plus we've all had bad days.. and you've had bad days before. And guess what? You've made it through 100% of bad days so far - and that's a pretty damned good track record! Think about it. You can make it through this, one day at a time.

I remember when I was in a mental hospital, I screamed like a madman. Yes, I know you are in a lot of pain. Even though my life is far from perfect now, it is far better than I could ever have imagined it would be at that single instant in time when I was yelling like a madman, thinking the staff were trying to kill me to put me out of my misery.

Trust me it does get better.

Thank you so much everyone.

It makes me happy to see that I have so much support here.

It's 05:30 here and I've just got up after a nightmare.

But I am not suicidal anymore.

In fact I'm only mildly depressed atm and I've decided to spend a couple of hours doing my favourite activities at home.

I will not commit suicide and I will continue contributing what I can to this website, the world, etc.

I have some hope and I will study today.

Right now I news to drink some tea and do my morning routine.

Samaritans are a good idea. If I get bad again I'll email them.

You're all great. Thank you.

Good on you

Thanks.

I meant "I need to drink" not "I news to drink" in the post before this one. Sodding phone won't let me edit it.

If you get a chance, check out the movie "Silver Linings Playbook." It's about living with issues like this.

Really happy you're feeling much better SteelMaiden

seek support now. suicide ideas just dont vanish. please seek help now. as others say if your depressed meds will reduce it and doing something any thing to take your mind off these thoughts. stay away from drink. it wont help.

LOL...I think she meant that she wanted to drink tea. I don't think she meant alcohol.

I don't drink alcohol at all, never, hate the stuff and hate to see what it has done to my mum.

I am still having thoughts of suicide, but I don't have a plan. I am trying to embrace logic to work through my problems.

It's the weekend now (no mental health team access) but on Tuesday I am seeing my psychiatrist so I will tell her about these suicidal thoughts / sometimes urges.

My care coordinator would say call the mental health team Crisis Line (out of hours), but last time I did that they called the police on me, which made matters much worse.

Logic is keeping me going, and the knowledge that I have people like you to reach out to for help.

[MOVED from GAD to the Haven]

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. I wrote a long reply yesterday but there was a technical problem or something when I tried to post.

I believe people with AS just happen to also have severe psychosomatic issues. just because the world is a bad place for aspies. because it IS a bad place for aspies and because many people (at school and such) are mean to aspies. And even if there is love at home we are not that good at actually feeling loved because we are bad at getting body language and whatever.

So I personally believe if an Aspie has trouble chances are it's not the AS itself but an emotional damage. (or if it is it can be helped with meds or whatever as the problem is neurological).

my problem was, and that could apply to you to, that I had came to believe that life is inherently bad/difficult. people are inherently bad/mean/full of hatred. And generally there is no love in this world.

I figured out I was wrong. There is just as much love in the world AS ONE BELIVES THERE IS. It's like a cake and I taKe as much as I want (not nessecarily from other people but from within, or even a movie, or cat videos or whatever). It's just a matter of believing and the "glasses I have on". Not all people are bad. And certainly not all lives are hard (believe me). My life was hard, and I until recently believed that all lives, always, forvever, have to be hard and harsh. that's wrong. it's all an illusion. It's all up to me (not the facts of my life, but how I feel about it.). Last week I got insulted by a neo-nazi (I'm from middle-east living in Germany). Surely I answered back. BUT BUT BUT: I didn't think about it that much because now I KNOW that not everyone is like that. Before I started believing in the stuff I just said, I belived everyone is bad. Now I blelieve most people are nice (yes even Germans lol).
Lastly I think everyone should do his best to love himself. Try to feel love. I don't know how. watch a romantic movie and try to copy the feeling and project it onto yourself by will later or something. or get a cat and pet it and try to copy the feeling. I dont know. go to church if you have to (i don't.).

I can relate to this ^
A lot of my difficulties come from having grown up in an unaccepting environment.