First my Mom,and Now My BROTHER???

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From what I have read in my sociology class people who take pot shots over sexual orientation while being too cowardly to make it public are usually confused over their own sexual orientation. It's a way to mask the frustration over their own confusion. Your brother is very likely gay himself, or at least bi, and is afraid to admit it because of the local culture. Don't bother trying to help him out of the closet, it won't work, he's too insecure. Try not to let it bother you too much.

Last edited by GoatOnFire on 03 Apr 2007, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Goodness. Whatever happened to 'Love thy neighbour'?

I remember the arguments me and my sister got into. Ahh it's nice to be away from that, she was 3 years older than me and it really hurt sometimes. I learned to fight back though.

I get along with her now a decade plus later.

Think through your response well, take time to craft it with the right amount of venom and facts. Not defending yourself can lead to later predatory efforts by him. Make it so every time he attacks he walks away with egg on his face.

If he is religious, quote the bible, beat him with his own beliefs.

His myspace page is http://www.myspace.com/rebelman66 ...if anyone is interested.


-SpaceCase

He's proud of being a redneck. I think I'm starting to see where a lot of the trouble is coming from...

Also has an anti-emo thing. Seems like a pretty "standard" (and I don't mean to imply that "standard" and good are the same, or even related) high school student.

He "does a lot of stupid stuff to make people lauph" (his spelling on laugh...made my eyes bleed a little) suggests he might be insecure about himself. Common practice to attack the vulnerabilities of others to make yourself look less vulnerable. And, well, with your geographic location....you are a pretty easy target I'm afraid. Unfortunate that nobody is willing / able to give him a good blow to the jaw to remind him he isn't as special as he tries to make himself out to be. I don't condone violence, but sometimes people have to be treated like stubborn mules. Why? Sometimes that's about how they act.

And please, don't take that to be a suggestion to hit him or have someone else do it. That likely wouldn't help matters. Finding something horribly embarrassing that he may be trying to hide and sharing it with anyone that respects him, now that would probably work pretty well.

What could you possibly be hinting at

Go spam his ass like WHOA!


-SpaceCase

If I were you, I'd sic Atomika or Spy on his MySpace.

bad bad bad. For one, it will at the most irritate him. Then he will probably start guessing who the cause was. Guess who that will lead back to? Most likely you. I'm guessing the last thing you want is him giving you more s**t. This time, though what he said would likely be utter rubbish, he'd be justified. It could also come back on the site. Last thing we want is a group of people doing retaliation spamming here. Sure, it could be dealt with, and probably quickly, but it would be a pain for the moderators.

If you do want to get back at him, find his weak spot, and exploit it.

If you spam his friends pages and then his he may not catch on, I am not saying people should spam his or anyones page <_< just saying if it were planned right he may not catch on.

Bah, why worry, I have heard that Hell is a nice warm and cosy place

Make the most of the happiness you have with your partner too.

SpaceCase, I don't mean to minimize the terrible things he said to you, but you should keep in mind his age of 16 (and I am assuming his MySpace page is accurate). Men generally mature emotionally slower then women. This doesn't mean what he said to you was in any way justified (it wasn't), but hopefully it is just some type of phase.

He's actually 15. And,my Dad is worse than he is,although Mom is worse than all of them.


-SpaceCase

Then he still has plenty of time to mouth off to someone that will respond with violence. I'm not for violence, but I can't think of a better way for someone to realize they need to get their ego in check than saying something stupid then getting cracked in the jaw.

I guess I do still want to do that to a couple people. Mainly the "ringleader" from my middle-school days. There'd be a bit of a delay, but it would be satisfying, as bad as that is.

Over the years I've found some people thrive on a good argument. Some just get nastier. No one likes to get ignored though.

Once you fight back they have an excuse to open up and get nasty since they are "defending their views". You validate their efforts. Acting like they are a cockroach / dirt to be ignored gets them pissed without a good way to vent it at you. If they yell, or scream, look bored or amused.

To cheer yourself up, try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bja2ttzGOFM and perhaps this editor's reply to a reader's letter:
“Good point well made, Mr. Duncan. As you clearly say, it states in Leviticus Chapter 18 Verse 22 that homosexuality is an abomination. Which reminds me—there are a couple of things I need guidance on. Firstly, If I wanted to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7, how much could I expect to make from such a deal? Also, my colleague Pete insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it OK to get some outside help? Lastly, does the whole city really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side. And when I burn my mother for wearing garments made from two different threads, do I torch her whole or just a bit?”

(To avoid offending others I should point out that I have nothing against Christianity in general, but there are some specific bits of doctrince I disagree with. If anyone wants to debate this point we should move that discussion elsewhere and not spam this thread.)

Then, when or if you can think of your brother with compassion and Christian love, despite the fact that he is a normal 15 year old (meaning a conformist brat who tries to gain social status by dumping on those he and his friends define as outsiders) give him a present: "Feet of Clay" by Terry Pratchett. A sideline to the main story is a dwarf coming out as female. On the diskworld, all dwarfs are officially male. In practice, they come in enough varieties to make sure there will be more dwarfs, but they don't like to talk about it. A major part of dwarf courtship consists of tactful attempts at finding out what sex the other dwarf actually is behind the beard and the battle axe.

If you are lucky, your brother will start laughing at how ridiculous the others dwarfs' reaction to an openly female dwarf is before he realises that it is an exact parallel to homophobia. Of course, if you tell him or hint at it in advance, this won't work. If he is very dense, you may have to give him some hints afterwards, but first you have to catch him unaware. Smile sweetly, give him the present, and hope he comes to realise that the tickling sensation at his tonsils comes from him having his head stuck very firmly up his back passage. If it works, try it on your mother.

If your family is so fundamentalist that they think a fantasy novel is satanic, this strategy is likely to backfire. In that case, I would recommend moving to a different continent at the first opportunity.

Gromit