I can't stop comparing myself to other people

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Part of the reason why it's hard for me to stop comparing myself to other people is because comparing myself to other people was what motivated me to get my job. It's what motivated me to start dating.

In the past, I compared myself to more successful people, felt bad and then I pushed myself to become successful myself.

So now I think, "I should relax more and stop trying so hard" and then I think "No. If I thought that that a few years ago I'd still be a jobless virgin."

And that makes me want to continue comparing myself to other people so I can push myself harder and become more successful than I am now.

I have to learn to draw the line between improvements that will benefit me in a practical way and improvements that are more for keeping up apperances.

E.g. if I went to university it would mostly be for keeping up apperances. True I could become a developer but developers only get paid about 25% more than me anyway.

$70,000 per annum is considerably more than $55,000 per annum.

And you would have the degree.

How much would it cost to study further?

And....there are always nice, pretty girls studying at University. Nothing wrong with a man of your age seeing someone in her early 20s. It happens all the time.

I work part-time at a university library, so I know what I'm talking about.

It would cost my evenings and weekends. I'm just worried I won't be able to take it.

I mean, it would be totally cool if I could juggle work and uni, it would make me feel like a baddass. But I'm worried it might also make me feel exhausted.

When Fred Flintstone went back to college, all the girls dug him.

It would cost my evenings and weekends. I'm just worried I won't be able to take it.

I mean, it would be totally cool if I could juggle work and uni, it would make me feel like a baddass. But I'm worried it might also make me feel exhausted.
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there is no law that says that you have to go to a university.

some schools have online classes.

do not let someone else peer pressure you to go to school.

school is not for everyone.

plenty of people graduated university with a lot of loans. and then defaulted on loans. and defaulting made it hard for them to do a lot of things. like buy a house.

some employers pay part of the tuition bill.

I can't shake this feeling that the world was made for successful people, not for losers like me.

Then I have to remind myself that in some ways I am successful. Why can't I see that?

I can't shake this feeling that the world was made for successful people, not for losers like me.

Then I have to remind myself that in some ways I am successful. Why can't I see that?
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the dictionary does not specify all the methods of defining and measuring success.

you have to define success on your own terms. do not let someone peer pressure you into doing something you regret doing.

set goals. write plans. stick to the plans.

those plans could include college. but some plans do not include college. do your own research. make your own decisions.

the world is not a level playing field.

people have different situations: racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/sizeism/classism.

some people have diseases. some people get rape. some people are just not academically smart.

Axis V: Global Area Functioning. how well you cope with school, work, and relationships, and emotions. but some people have an inherent advantage. by being neurotypical cisgender handsome skinny white men.

yeah successful people have it easier in the world.

but the children of successful people have it easier in the world than the children of people not as (financially) successful.

big deal.

"life" goes on.

UI was comparing also and went into the hard depression. I went to the conclusion that I am the loser and started sleeping and eating all the time.
Your things are not so bad. It's dumb to compare yourself with people. They are different. The same can say I, comparing myself to the famous actor or rich guys like Rotshield would be stupid also. At least we were not born in the North Korea.

UI was comparing also and went into the hard depression. I went to the conclusion that I am the loser and started sleeping and eating all the time.
Your things are not so bad. It's dumb to compare yourself with people. They are different. The same can say I, comparing myself to the famous actor or rich guys like Rotshield would be stupid also. At least we were not born in the North Korea.
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it ain't healthy to be sleeping and eating all the time.

"loser" is just a label. "loser" is just one word. nobody is just one word.

everyone is in a different situation.

yeah i find it tempting to compare myself to precious lil "people" that are skinnier, smarter, more attractive.

and some of that comparison is second nature, natural, subconscious, or involuntary.

but the older i get, the more i realize that i have to live my "life". or whatever.

yeah you do not have to completely stop comparing yourself to others.

but at least do what you are trying to do.

actions, thoughts, emotions, statements.

you do not constantly control all of them, completely.

but once in a while, seize control over at least one of them.