Voices of ex-friends haunting me

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I fear what would happen if I ever encountered them again. I don't even want to go to Fort Worth or Dallas because I might run into them in either place.

I think most people have people they don't want to run in to. I would stop thinking about them and move on.

I wish I could prove them wrong, especially after they told me things like I was too messed up to have a girlfriend and that I needed to "get your (mine) head out of your ass." but I haven't been able to move forward.

They're voices.
Your problems they might talk about may be very real, but ultimately those voices are not.
Maybe they are a siren acting in your best interests, but coming across in a way that triggers your coping mechanisms.

So with that in mind, just remember even if those voices belong to people once in your life, they also belong to the past.
Your current state and your future is what matters.

What is it that bothers you the most about them exactly? Do you fear there is any truth to the voices you are hearing?

They bother me because I haven't been able to prove them wrong. Both claimed to wish me well but I don't believe them. They are still thinking I am a loser and if I ever encountered them in person again, it would be devastating.

My thought patterns have always been obsessive even when I was a child. I used to think I would "grow out of it" but that didn't happen. I have been told and have read that I myself am not my thoughts.

If they had left it at "you are too messed up to have a girlfriend" that would be one thing, but following it up with "you need to get your head out of your ass" implies that they see your problem as a temporary state of mind and not an inherent aspect of your character. In effect, I think they were saying "Get with the program", not "You will never be able to get with the program". I don't think they think you can't get a girlfriend. I think they think your dwelling on you lack of girlfriend is impeding your ability to grow and make the changes is your life you need to make to get one and they were tired of hearing the same story.

How much time do you spend thinking of not having a girlfriend and how much you hate your town vs. the amount of time you spend formulating and working towards a plan to move to a better area with a more compatible dating pool?

I think you have well established your area is a baron pasture for you so what is your plan to move to a greener one?

What you're going through is a normal part of the grieving process and I know because I have been going through the same thing where I was rejected by a woman with NLD. The last time we sat down was after the rejection because I wanted so bad to win her back. I went there only to get hurt even more by her telling me hurtful things which I don't want to discuss because those words make me so angry. In the end, I have to realize that she only offered me a one-sided friendship. I am better off without her and I have learned to enjoy my life without her. The more you move forward, I believe you will do the same. Take all the time you need to heal and when you are ready, you're going to come back stronger.

In terms of your friends, I am sorry for your loss and I know it hurts but it sounds like they weren't supportive friends for you either. In fact, those sound like toxic friendships and nor are those people worthy of you. They sound like they have problems with insecurity and self-worth to me if they have to act superior to those who are going through a rough time, it means that they are probably scared of ending up in a position like yours.

Marknis how old are you? I just would like to know. I recently lost two friends too and in my case not having their constant text messages was incredibly soothing. They were good friends for the most part but recently I just felt like they were too negative or too attacking when it came to something I enjoyed so I understood that we had changed. Then we had an argument and that was enough for both of them to disregard our friendship. It hurt but at the same time some part of me knew that I just wasn't good for me anymore. I truly wish them well and sometimes miss one of them, but i read this somewhere "Sometimes you have to cut ties with people who aren't good for you. The love isn't lost, but the communication isn't healthy. We move on". And that's what I did. I'm pretty sure they despise me though.

The voices in your head sound incredibly negative and guilty inducing of your own fears and insecurities. Don't listen to them, make fun of them. Use them to take a stand as to why they're not your friends anymore, because you won't take negativity from anyone. The reason I asked you about your age is because if I had lost those friends in my twenties it would've been so much harder on me. Mainly at that age I constantly thought less of myself for not being able to make more of a connection with the friendships I had. The first time I lost one of those friends (I lost him like 3 times) was only a few years ago and it was horrible for me, it took months to recover mainly because I didn't understand what went wrong and for the fact of being rejected by someone I cared so much for. It's important that you've realised these voices are not right and that as soon as something that makes them appear you stop yourself from going that route and have an answer for that thought.

He hasn't posted for two weeks, and may not post again.