Boyfriend left me

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Congratulations on the pregnancy!

That's sh***y about the father. I'm sorry. It's good to hear that you have a supportive family.

Actually, autism can be a bit of a superpower when giving birth - we can have a lot of endurance. Be aware that autistic people don't always show pain in a way that others understand. If you need an epidural or such, don't try too hard to be brave, just tell them, and try have someone with you who will back you up on this, if you can.

Looking forward to hearing about the baby!

Nice to see you, Underwater.

Nice to see you too

It will work out well eventually! Regardless of his taking responsibility or not, kill him with kindness and thank him for the kid, send him birthday cards. You can’t force him to want to be a good person - you can only show an example and hope he learns from it.

Good luck on your pregnancy and birth.

We had 2 children and they turned out just fine. As far as recommendations, I would suggest that you read a book called “Husband Coached Childbirth” by Robert Bradley, M.D. We had both our children naturally. There are many methods or approaches in the process of childbirth such as a normal hospital birth, Lamaze technique, the Bradley method, and the Leboyer method, at home birth with midwife, and a maze of other approaches. The Bradley method is a very good method because it teaches:

* the importance of proper prenatal nutrition, diet and vitamins – right from the very beginning of pregnancy
* useful prenatal exercises
* inaccuracies in determining due dates
* proper full-term weight gain goals
* parental decision making during birthing process
* the process of labor (bag of water breaking, the 3 stages of labor, labor contractions, the emotional bite your head off stage, the child’s birth, umbilical cord and placenta)
* the difference between synthetic versus natural oxytocin in expelling the placenta
* mother/child bonding and father/child bonding
* the importance of breastfeeding (especially right after giving birth)

There are generally classes available for natural childbirth. If you boyfriend is out of the picture, you might take your mom or dad and attend some of these classes.

Dr. Bradley was born on a farm in Atchison, Kansas. Growing up on the farm provided him with a love of nature that he brought into his medical practice and into this book. Dr. Bradley learned that nature was not something to fight against but something to emulate.

i strongly disadvise bringing males into delivery ward, unless they are trained medics. or females, who are not mothers. no sexism xD some might cope, but maybe not subject them to it? chose a medical team. in advance. read feedbacks people provide for different hospitals. omit the too glossy ones, at that. then, comply with ur medical team. at all and any time. i didnt go to any special classes, but then again, i had received more ample training in my youth, so there was not much for me to learn xd just do what they tell u. and let them do what they find necessery. period.

I was with my wife during the birth of both of our daughters the whole time including delivery. It is a bonding experience. When my oldest daughter gave birth to her first born child, the doctor asked my youngest daughter (who was in her first year of premed) if she wanted to cut the cord. She said yes and she did. She was probably 21 years old at the time. She is now a medical doctor.

Better to find out he's not going to stick around now vs. later once the baby's become attached to him, IMO.

Keep your stress about this as low as possible.. do what you do to keep balanced & happy - for yourself, but also the health of your baby. Stress & trauma suffered in utero results in life long damage to people. (Even exposure to yelling/screaming/fighting etc.) Not trying to scare you or anything, just saying..

Hey, guys, take it easy on the advice. Actually, there was a study recently on mothers suffering from anxiety during pregnancy, and it turned out the babies were just fine.

There is just so much misinformation going around because expecting mothers naturally want the best for their baby. Everybody gets exposed to it. The best advice generally comes from people with more than one child. They know that kids are radically different.

I just want to say that most kids turn out completely fine. What really makes a huge difference is having a supportive family around, because taking care of a baby is exhausting, and having someone to take care of the baby while you sleep is crucial.

I found it very helpful to have my husband with me during birth, but I think a supportive family member will do well.

Based on the experience of people I know well, spending a lot of energy on cajoling a reluctant father into being present in a kid's life is a waste of time. It'll wear you out and upset you, and in the end it will make your kid unhappy that its father shows no love for him/her. Spend your energy on taking care of yourself and your child.

Best wishes!

Thank you for the advice so far.
We're doing ok. I still have sickness which is unfortunate as it's really draining and means I can't go out, my parents are helping me out so I'm not alone. I don't think anyone will be going in with me, definitely not my ex, he hasn't even been in touch to ask after me or the baby.

Hugs

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- Prometheus18

Last edited by Prometheus18 on 05 Oct 2018, 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well i reproduced within a marriage, did it help me? no it did not. please open calendar, and find out its XXI out there. Vicky really doesnt need to be harassed like this. please be self righteous somewhere where it wont hurt a person.

I didn't intend to come off harshly, though I reread my post and realized I had done.

You're right that marriage doesn't always help, but thats only because our Marxist (in the West as well as Russia) governments have watered down divorce laws over the last few generations with the deliberate intention of undermining the family. But I agree that's a discussion for another thread.

Apologies to the original poster, whom I actually find very pleasant. She is the victim in all this.