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There's a reason I'm not in regular contact with anybody.

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Prometheus18
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24 Jun 2019, 4:36 pm

As far as I can see, a friend should be available no matter what. Try raising the subject of your difficulties - tactfully.



cberg
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24 Jun 2019, 11:17 pm

I think the only way I can do that is to wait until it comes up in 1:1 conversation & be as candid as I can. All the fakery required to continue passing as NT has felt very dishonest to me lately. I'm hoping to clarify some of this for people who know me so we can see each other more. I want them to know I only keep to myself because I always worry I'll say the wrong thing, not because I don't care.


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cberg
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26 Jun 2019, 12:02 am

I always have to wait for the right times to say anything like this. :(


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Pepe
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26 Jun 2019, 1:34 am

cberg wrote:
It gets called disability, disorder, disease & so on. I'm invisible. If I don't stay out of people's sight, I'll probably mess something up. If I say I care about someone, it's just a sick obsession to the rest of you. I shouldn't even be alive. I know a few people who helped me not die but it's nearly impossible to get ahold of anyone. I don't blame them, I'm trying to ignore myself too. 99% of all people ignore me because of where I've been & how I think. It's a disease alright.

Later WP.


Yes, people are very difficult for us.
Misunderstandings are a constant problem.
I'm guessing our lack of "Theory of mind" might have something to do with it. <shrug>

Do what I do.
Chalk it up to experience, learn from it and move on. <shrug some more>

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
I think "most people" overvalue socializing

Socializing serves a function,, but "most people" act like it is the latest greatest thing since sliced bread


Seriously though, if you don't want to socialize, you don't have to


That's the way I see it.
We are indoctrinated from childhood into following the NT social meme.

Socializing is not the be-all and end-all.
Hard for a 25-year-old to accept but it gets easier.



cyberdad
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26 Jun 2019, 1:55 am

When people suck I find walking the dog in the fresh air is the tonic. For that matter anything to get you outdoors doing something physical will take your mind off other stuff...



cberg
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26 Jun 2019, 2:26 pm

I went on a brutal 10 mile mountain bike ride yesterday with coworkers after I was up at 7:30 for work, got home around 11. It helped but I need to get out a lot more. I don't find that much fault with people, my thread isn't about being angry at anyone. I'm not the kind of person who regularly substitutes new people for my friends either. I don't find people as difficult as their absence. I'm not just talking about socializing necessarily, it's more a matter of gradually getting closer to friends again.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


Last bumped by cberg on 26 Jun 2019, 2:26 pm.